Hello

[mumngrls]

Hello,

I am pleased to have found this forum as i Have been struggling for so many years.....

I am a proud mother of 4 wonderful children one of which has Aspergers and ASD she has just turned 9 just recently diagnoised we are about to get a statement done. Not really sure what happens now?

We also have issues with her being badly bullied and physically attacked she does not tell us straight away as seems to not feel pain and this is a worry that someone can be doing this.

I am looking for advice support and friendship

A xx

[bonbons]

Hi, and welcome to forum. I hope that you find it as useful as I do! I too have 4 children, a son of 22, twins of almost 20, and a 15 year old daughter recently diagnosed with atypical aspergers/ASD. It has been and still is a difficult journey for us too but at least her diagnosis, although late, has helped everyone concerned to understand the difficulties she has had. She also suffered a lot at the hands of bullies, both physically and mentally without always telling us the full extent of it, and is now out of mainstream education as she could no longer cope and had developed severe behavioral problems with which they were unable to cope. Her anxiety levels can be very high, her thoughts very rigid, and her intrests very restricted. She has one good friend for which I am thankful, but is really struggling socially. Puberty has not helped!! WE are also waiting for her statement to be agreed so that she may be found a place at a more specialist school to help address these, and other difficulties, and it is a long wait!! where are you up to in the process? Is your DD ok at mainstream school? It seems that girls do seem to get their diagnosis later than boys very often, and I think that it is fortunate that your youngster will hopefully get the extra support she may need earlier than mine did, especially in her transistion to high school when the time comes....something which my DD found extremely difficult!I understand that the statementing process can take up to 6 months!! We are 4 months in now with everything submitted and all of her appointments complete... just a waiting game with more difficulties ahead when the time comes to go to her new school, but fingers crossed, her last 2 years of high school will be a whole lot happier than the first 3!! On a brighter note, when she is in a more positive frame of mind, she is funny, interesting and good company, and I am learning so much about her all the time. Not easy at the moment though.... chin up, and good luck with the statement!! x

 

Beverley

Cheshire.

[smiley1590]

i have A.S found out when i was 14 years old always felt 'different' 'odd' 'weird' 'strange' on 'outside' of 'everything' black sheep against my peers i found real struggle socially at school i like your daughter was physically bullied badly for years and kept quiet didn't tell my mum 2 other girls which used walk with me who's mum's are both quite close friends with my mum i told one of them girls one day my mum quite angry annoyed why i didn't tell her sooner speak up felt it was 'normal' 'right' and nothing wrong about it and i deserved it made them do it that what i put into my head i was shy withdrawn to save protect myself from harm there

 

i was in middle of battlefield me silenced and really 'attacked' my self esteem ate away at it so bad took away alot of trust belief i was neive innocent but then A.S adds that factor to you as person makes more accepting of others as you don't think any of it i know sounds hard to believe teachers didn't really do anything about it! i used just blame myself cry on my own or drift off into my onw little world wondering why this happening to me?! i didn't understand get it! couldn't work it out! scared speak out they were in control made me feel powerless weak against them

 

i felt like had no fight left in me they had beat me won .... i couldn't explain anything in words verbalise how i was feeling what going on to me ..... after self esteem in knocked down so low hard work it back up takes ages .... you feel so alone trapped hoping if shut your eyes you'll become invisible and you won't hurt or feel pain anymore for being 'different' feels like not wanted accepted needed that really has massive impact become to feel social anxious /paranoid everyone out to hurt get you cause you misery pain suffering .... people don't truly get reality of bullying how bad it can get behind closed doors .... and inside how person is 'dying' screaming out for help assistant no one hears it!

 

you feel so empty inside numb ..... you feel like can't carry on get so tired drained! can make depressed .... then have pick on pieces so cruel uneccessary some of stuff people put us through is wicked .... and robs us of happy school memories that suppose to keep forever except ours rather opposite forget hidden somewhere like wish we were hidden ... and no-one could get to us .... i sometimes wish drift off , i'd daydream alot to escape from 'nightmare hell' following me like bad smell wherever i went and always got worse .... used come home floods of tears to my mum was unbearable until reaching breaking point and can't take anymore .....

 

my mum was up the school alot about bullying situation happened on regular basis like it was happening to someone else not me .... i didn't 'like' me so let it happen why not! i thought i'm worthless useless stupid ..... just adds to your personal believes and creates more probs later on try get rid of our your head ..... school hard enough for us without these kind of situations rising .... can be really upsetting damaging .... think was i'd pretend i'm fine when really totally opposite so much going on secretely i thought go away become better the more left worse it got!

 

sorry no advice just personal experience here !!! not much help really!

 

hope get it resolved soon for her sake much be awful i empathise sympathise

 

my heart goes out to your daughter so difficult be in centre of all time!

 

XKLX

[Kathryn]

Welcome to the forum, mumngirls. Hope you find it useful - feel free to ask questions, there's always someone around to help.

 

What stage of the statementing process are you at, are you about to start or are you in the middle of it?

 

K x