Hi all

[oli'smum]

I'v just joined today, iv been looking for support groups in my area and nada so far, a week ago i was told my 12 yr old daughter has aspergers syndrome, everything makes sense now looking back over the years, iv been left kinda high n dry though, i dont know what my next step is, does she see a specialist regularly? How will it affect her future? how should i react to her? that kind of thing, someone at work told me i should get her statemented, i dont even know what that means never mind how to go about it, the school are helping me in some ways but i need a lot of info and advice any little info would be greatly appreciated.

 

She is in mainstream school, we've had some problems with her being aggressive with other kids and lashing out but now that we've had this diagnoses they are willing to help her.

 

Thanks

[cait]

hi ive just found this site recently and im finding it very helpful....im single mum 2 4 kids caitlyn has diagnosis of aspergers A.D.D and asscociated mood disorder..nikita A.D.H.D,gregg N.T. though not without his quirky ways and youngest zack in the process of assesment i believe aspergers or spectrum related disorder...the processs differs slightly regarding were u live...you mayb reffered to a school age A.S.D. clinic..the school should be pushing for her to be seen by an educational pyscoligist,to have an I.E.P. "individual education plan" put in place as for statementing she would def have to be seen by an educational pyscoligist...if she was fine with how you treated her before i would carry on in the same way..there are lots of good books and web sites out there that carry info so arm yourself...no to children with A.S. are the same try to listen to your daughter and good luck.. oh sorry i should have said a "statement" would be a statement of your childs special educational needs,

[WillR73]

The short answer. Get someone she can meet up with in an informal environment for a couple of hours a week to rant and vent and let the pressure off. Do the same thing for yourself. Nothing complicated - walk by the river and take a bit of bread for the ducks. That one works as well for adults as kids

 

Maybe you can think of family, friends, etc who could fill the roles. If not think about Direct Payments. Means getting a social worker and wading through bureaucracy, but ultimately puts you in control of what both of you need and get.

 

Either way, find someone neutral for each of you to vent at...that'll keep the pressure off while you work out what to do next.

[justine1]

Hi

 

I am a single mum to four boys my middle two Sam(7) and Dan (5) both have an ASD diagnosis.Like you I also have tried unsuccessully to find support groups. You can try NAS(national autistic society website) and ring up the council and see what they say.We have something called Aiming high which has groups every month and also offer repite weekends etc.

 

Remember your daughter is the same person she was before the diagnosis so to be honest there is no reason why you should treat her any different.You can implement changes to help her,but only if you feel they will help not cause her more stress.You can do things like putting visual timetables,giving her time limits on activities with warnings etc for any changes.You can also use reward charts for home and school behaviour.

 

If you would like her to have a statement she will have to be getting IEP's and be on school action and then school action plus,you will need to proved the school have done absolutley everything to help your daughter but nothing is working.The statement gives the school money to pay for external support such as a 1:1, autism outreach support etc. It costs the LEA alot of money and it takes 26weeks to process,during this time your daughter will be assessed by educational psychologist and autism outreach,the school will also report how they see your daughter and what help she needs.

Your best starting point is to speak to the school SENCO and see what help she is getting and what they feel she needs,if anything.

 

Any hopes and dreams you have for her are not dashed,by no means,do not limit her or your expectations of what she can achieve.I felt like this now and again but I think both my boys will achieve what they can, when they can,may take a little longer and be more of a struggle but they will get there.

[auldreekie]

I found OASIS very helpful. Good luck

[oli'smum]

Thank you all for your advice, theres a lot to take in, it might take me a while, im a single parent too, my family have never been great child minders, im lucky in that i have the kind of job i can take her with me though, she's a great kid though, very helpful, works well with a bit of responsibility (not too much) she has a lot of pent up anger from the way she was treated at primary school, she is seeing the school counsellor for that now, hindsight is a wonderful thing eh