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WillR73

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About WillR73

  • Rank
    Salisbury Hill
  • Birthday 06/25/1973

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Larne

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  • Yahoo
    w_rafferty73@yahoo.co.uk
  1. Any way you can get in touch with one of the kids she's having the problem witb? Kids ain't shy about telling you what they don't like. Sounds a bit like she's maybe said a couple of things that came out wrong - wrong'descriptions'. I'm 37 and I still do that a lot That's just a guess - you won't know until you can find someone who is able to talk.
  2. I stated my opinion - obviously a lot of people don't agree with it. But I don't think this is the right place for this discussion. Smiley is quite capable of ignoring me, and you all have the right to recommend that course of action. Having nothing else to add to the original subject, I'm going to go away. Then the rest of you can concentrate on giving her the advice and support she(?) asked for. Wish you the best Smiley.
  3. Reason I asked about mental illness is the meds you named. Prozac? Zombie juice for the nervous wrecks. Risperidone? They tried me on that - it was like popping Smarties, but they didn't taste so good and the side-effects weren't nice. I could understand a 5-10mg Diazepam daily for anxiety, but anything beyond that would worry me a bit. They offering him a psychologist? Bit of talking time and a chance to let off steam could do a lot more than anti-psychotics for a child who isn't psychotic. Raise the subject next time you meet the shrinks....never hurts to ask.
  4. I recommend Judge Judy and Jeremy Kyle. I know that sounds silly, but hear me out. They follow the same format - he says she's lying, she says he's lying. At the end the judge or lie detector tells you who was right. It's a bit of a mystery puzzle - you watch, decide what you think sounds sensible, decide who looks dishonest, then at the end they tell you if you got it right. I know it sounds silly, but give it a try - it's both educational and a little addictive
  5. Sorry if I annoyed you Bid - I only speak as I think. I didn't say human grief counsellors can't help - I asked if they can. And yes - I do describe myself as a seperate species. Reason is I've spent years working very hard to teach people about someone like me. And the fastest way to get their attention is to tell them "You're human, I'm Asperger". They need to understand the distance we both have to cross. As to my opinion that grief is different for Aspergers, I speak from what I've seen. People like me getting confused and stressed because they don't react the way the human world expects them to react. So I accept that we both speak as we have seen, and obviously we have seen different. I can only speak from my own experience, but I have every right to do so. And smiley has every right to ignore my world-view.
  6. Hi Weebo. I'm Will, 37 yr old Asperger. Don't start me on animals - I'm a dog-lover Nice to meet you, and I hope life is treating you well.
  7. I kinda agree with eco88. For an Asperger grief is different. If someone I love dies, I raise a glass (or 6) to them that night. Then I put it away until Dec 31. That night I lock myself away and look back on my year. Then I mourn the lost. Can a human grief counsellor teach an Asperger how to mourn? You'll get a lot of professionals telling you what to do next. Just do what works for you. Write letters to the loved one, stand on a bridge, and make them into little boats that float down to the sea. Stand on a cliff-edge and scream at the wind. Rescue a puppy from a shelter and give it all the love you used to give to the lost. My point is, maybe the experts can help. If not, it's up to you to find something that helps you.
  8. Just need to ask one question before I react - does J exhibit any sign of mental illness? As opposed to the usual stresses and strains of being an Asperger in a human world.
  9. I'm a high-function Asperger, and I've found an easy way to explain myself to people who get bored with all the technical stuff. I say half of me is 37 and the other half is 12. My shrink cringes when I say it, but it helps most people understand - part of me stopped maturing at a certain age. Isn't that the core of the Asperger's problem? Don't know about Friends, but I still lmao at old episodes of Pingu Is that a problem that needs to be solved, or is it just a case of 'go with the flow'? Humour the child part, and the adult part will be much calmer. That make some sense?
  10. I can see both sides of the 'do we tell him?' debate. I was 32 before I was diagnosed. The experts describe me as an 'extremely high function' Asperger. In other words, I can pass for human..lol Reason I can function in the human world is I had no choice - no-one knew I needed help. That forced me to learn my own solutions to life. I might do it the hard way, but I can do it. That's the good news. Downside is that I ended up doing everything the hard way, scraping through, and taking some hard knocks along the way. That brought me to the point I function well for short bursts, then I need to go home and lock the door for days. So there are good points on both sides. Understanding helps make sense of it all, and support will always be an asset. But forced independence encourages development of essential skills. So I say tell him, but downplay it - don't make it an excuse for not trying. Support him, but don't carry him. Sometimes, like any other parent, you may have to stand back and let him get wrong - I've learned more from my mistakes than from my successes. As to home schooling, only thing I would say is that my ability to cope in social situations is a kind of 'mental muscle' - I have to keep exercising it or it will waste. If he likes books, maybe the local library has some kind of book club? Or even a local school might agree to let him sit in on reading hour? Important to keep that social 'mental muscle' working. Hope this helps a bit
  11. I can say something that might lift the cloud a bit. My mom's a foster carer. Years ago a 12yr old Asperger arrived at her house. He was getting out of hand, his mother couldn't cope, and she found a couple of gins made it easier. He stayed with Mom 3 months. She took no nonsense, proved more stubborn than he was, and taught him how to tell jokes His mother saw him regularly, and the time gave her a chance to clear her head and recharge. 6 years later, any member of his family will stop Mom in the street and tell her how well he's doing. I don't know how your situation stands, or how it will turn out. Just wanted you to know that the system doesn't always screw up - sometimes it comes right in the end
  12. Been doing my own DLA forms for years, and my mom was involved in a charity that let me watch her fill them in for the last 25 years. Try to get something on every page. Remember they aren't asking you about an average day - the forms openly say 'worst day'. Add anything you can think of - under 'conditions' I put hayfever and short sighted just in case it helps Appeal automatically - don't even stop to think. And if an appeal gets rejected, you can still ask for the decision to be reviewed. They have some senior staff who will re-assess the appeal. Only had to deal with them once, but I got a nice one and it all worked out good.
  13. This is a personal opinion, which a lot of people might disagree with, but I say part of me is 37 and the other part is 12. That's my lazy description of Asperger's. So even at 37 I've got that touch of 12yr old mischief. Recently, purely out of boredom, I worked out how to get a restraining order against Santa. Would have worked, but I didn't do it - sometimes the grown-up me kicks in and ruins my Brilliant Ideas. Besides - my support worker threatened to hurt me..lol So yes - enjoy the fun bits And never encourage your child's Brilliant Ideas, or you might end up as a witness for the prosecution against Santa..lol
  14. Eats half his dinner, runs to the toilet and throws it up, then comes back for the other half? Yup - been there, done that Always used to put my sisters off their dinner..lol I'm 37, I'm an Asperger, and I started doing that before I remember - need family members to remind me. Now I'm 5' 11", 180lbs, and the main reason I don't throw up is I love me grub too much to part with it So don't worry unless his weight gets low - then talk to a GP. Otherwise, get used to it, or he'll ruin your appetite and you'll end up malnourished. Welcome to the wierd and wonderful world of wautism Sorry if I don't sound serious. That's my point - don't take this serious. Works out ok in the end. Although if he has sisters, they'll hate him forever
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