Hello, I'm new.

[Matilda76]

Hello, I'm new here.

 

My son was 6 a couple of weeks ago and was diagnosed with Aspergers this week. I'm still getting my head around where we go from here but my main concern right now is how we tell our son or even if we should. He loves books and I know there are some out there such as 'Can I tell you about Asperger Syndrome' but as they aren't cheap I wondered if anyone could recommend anything please?

 

I would also be grateful to hear of others experiences with telling (or not) their child. How did you tell them? How did they react? Was it a good thing or not etc?

 

I should probably also mention that we home school. He went to mainstream school for 6 weeks and it was horrendous, we had already looked into HE as we knew school might be a problem so decided to take him out. So far that seems to have been a good decision for him. I'm not against schools they just don't seem to be the best place for him right now.

 

Thanks, M.

[RainbowsButterflies]

Hi and welcome

 

 

[Tally]

Hi Matilda, and welcome to the forum.

 

Have you tried ordering in the books you want from your library at all?

 

I am an adult with Asperger's, so I don't have any experience about explaining it to children. All I can say is that learning about Asperger's and finally getting a diagnosis has been very helpful for me, and I wish I had known in childhood why I am different.

 

I think it's important you approach it in a positive way, which might mean waiting a bit until you have got your own head around it a bit more.

[WillR73]

I can see both sides of the 'do we tell him?' debate. I was 32 before I was diagnosed. The experts describe me as an 'extremely high function' Asperger. In other words, I can pass for human..lol

 

Reason I can function in the human world is I had no choice - no-one knew I needed help. That forced me to learn my own solutions to life. I might do it the hard way, but I can do it. That's the good news.

 

Downside is that I ended up doing everything the hard way, scraping through, and taking some hard knocks along the way. That brought me to the point I function well for short bursts, then I need to go home and lock the door for days.

 

So there are good points on both sides. Understanding helps make sense of it all, and support will always be an asset. But forced independence encourages development of essential skills.

 

So I say tell him, but downplay it - don't make it an excuse for not trying. Support him, but don't carry him. Sometimes, like any other parent, you may have to stand back and let him get wrong - I've learned more from my mistakes than from my successes.

 

As to home schooling, only thing I would say is that my ability to cope in social situations is a kind of 'mental muscle' - I have to keep exercising it or it will waste. If he likes books, maybe the local library has some kind of book club? Or even a local school might agree to let him sit in on reading hour? Important to keep that social 'mental muscle' working.

 

Hope this helps a bit

[Sammysnake]

Fantastic reply WillR73