PRU

[bonbons]

Hi all.......My 15 year old has been at a pupil referral unit since coming out of mainstream education last September. She really does not enjoy going even though it is only for 5 hours per week, and less so now that teaching staff have changed and there are other children there now also. The staff freely admit that they find it hard to engage her as she easily gives up and demands a lot of one to one support.She is struggling to interact with the other pupils and I feel that the staff do not fully understand her difficulties. They are also due to move to a new location at the end of the month which again, could cause problems for DD, especially as she has a big move coming up anyway. Thing is, her statement is ready to be finalised and she has a place at an independent specialist school where she hopefully start around Easter so my dilemma is, shall we and can we choose not to send her to the PRU? She has comparatively little time left there anyway, and she is really learning so little, educationally,socially,or emotionally. I did convey my concerns regarding this move to the LEA, and they did understand but didn't want to be drawn into any decisions we may take on whether or not to continue sending her although, did say it would be possible to come to some agreement with PRU? could we get into any trouble if we choose to keep her at home until she can start at her new school?

[Kathryn]

The law says she must be in education so unless you send her or you take her out of the system and home educate her, yes you could get into trouble.

 

However she should be in suitable full time education so the LEA aren't exactly fulfilling their own duties are they? Would they pursue you if you kept her at home for a couple of weeks? I don't know. On the other hand, as long as she's going to the unit she is at least a visible reminder that something more suitable needs to be in place soon.

 

How long will this limbo actually last? You say she is starting at an independent school after Easter, yet her statement hasn't even been finalised - that's a pretty tight timetable even if you are confident the LEA will actually name the school and deliver a decent statement before the deadline. Talk to the PRU and LEA I would - maybe there is an off site alternative out there while you're waiting - or some activity they can arrange for her to do. If not, and as long as you're not physically having to drag her there, is it doing her any harm? Learning to cope with at least a few of life's adversities isn't such a bad thing in my opinion, but only you can judge whether it's doing more harm than good.

 

K x

[Sally44]

If she can go let her go.

And if she is too anxious to attend due to changes etc, then cover yourself by going to the GP and asking them for a letter to say that she is struggling to attend due to anxiety about the changes etc.

 

I don't know if this is universal, but in our LEA you need a letter from a consultant before your child gets any out of school education. My son has been off school since end January and we have just been visited by someone offering us a couple of mornings at the hospital school.

 

But as Kathryn says, it is worth talking to everyone about alternatives because the LEA have not fulfilled their responsibilities either.

 

I would definately push to get the Statement finalised. Send them a letter saying that they have already confirmed that they will be issuing xxxx with a placement at xxxxxx, and that you require the Statement to finalised asap as it was confirmed that she would be starting at this school after the Easter break. Say that you need to work on transitions with her and ask them to respond with a reply within 7 days.

 

Until you have it in writing nothing is guaranteed.

[baddad]

Hi Bonbons -

she may not be getting much out of it, but five hours a week isn't really that much of an imposition is it? What she is getting out of it is the message that she should be going to school...

If she starts her new school the liklihood is there will be a 'honeymoon' period of a couple of weeks and then she won't like that... There's this funny expectation that kids who haven't liked school, have avoided/refused school will suddenly start enjoying all the things they HATE (i.e. lessons, expectations, pressure, timetables etc) because there's a better staff to pupil ratio or less kids on the playground at playtime. That's not how it works. The things kids don't like at school are not necessarily the things they own up to, and the things you've highlighted that she doesn't like/struggles with at PRU will be there for thirty-thirty five hours per week at the new placement. IMO, letting her not go to PRU would pretty much set a precedent in her mind for what will happen if she says 'I don't like it' after a few weeks at the new school.

 

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD

[bonbons]

Yes.... All very helpful comments... Thank you! My thoughts on the matter are alongvthe same lines hence the dilemma! I hate to see her unhappy there and the staff have mire or less given up trying to teach her anything and with the attitude that if she wants to do stuff , great but they won't push her for fear of her 'kicking off' and upsetting the other children which I totally understand! Of course she knows this and has used it to her advantage to avoid the things she dislikes so yes, you are right.... These problems won't be solved easily at her new school but are hoping with their skill and support she may eventually realise that they are there to help her if she just learn to accept this help. There have been occasions where they have phoned asking us to take her home early because of problems and I explain that this us exactly what she wants, but they need her out before it affects other youngsters so, of course we have to go..... Very difficult! At least her new school is an hour away from home so she will have to learn that we cannot simply go at the drop of a hat and then hopefully she will gain the experience she needs to cope with stressful situations rather than these demand avoidance techniques she so good at!! LEA are aware of situation.... Proposed statement being amended at the moment as we requested and the place at this fantastic school has been agreed all round for which feel very fortunate! Only hopes that dd eventually feels the same and settles well...... Under no illusions it will always run smoothly though! Think I will try to continue with PRU... as said, gives her a sense of school routine which might have a better effect on her transition than if we allowed her to stay at home. Thanks.... A bit clearer now.

[baddad]

Hi again -

 

Yep, sounds like the right decision to me! I think the new school are going to have a tough time on their hands once the honeymoon phase is over, and you are going to have a tough time too balancing your protective instincts and what seem her immediate needs with her long term ones. Not struggles I envy for you or school, and no picnic for her either. Very best with it all, and when you're feeling guilty remember that you're doing for her what she can't do for herself - looking at the bigger picture. She will thank you for it one day, but don't hold your breath, 'cos it'll be later rather than sooner!

 

L&P

 

BD

[Kathryn]

Hope all goes well with getting the Statement finalised, and with the transition to the school. Good luck with getting through the difficult weeks - hopefully it will all be onver soon Holidays soon anyway!

 

K x