Ceridrial Report post Posted March 17, 2011 hi all Son - 9 - fully diagnosed Aspergers, full statement my son has been sent home again for violence to the teachers. Is there anything i can do, my husband cannot go and get a job because we dont know when our son will be sent home. (i have asked him to find out what would happen if they called and my husband was not available) who can i ask for help? maybe the mainstream school is not the right place, but in that case where is? they tried at Cuckmere House which was lovely, but thats for boys with behavioural problems, not aspergers! can someone please tell me what i can do Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mummycanhandleit Report post Posted March 17, 2011 Hi would you not contact the school board and see what they suggest? Does the Ed Pych know that he is getting sent home? Obviously the school is not able to deal with this so the school board will have to find someone that can. Why not phone the officer that dealt with your statement and see what she suggests bacause his statement is obviously not helping him any. I don't know if this will help but worth a try Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ceridrial Report post Posted March 17, 2011 Hi would you not contact the school board and see what they suggest? Does the Ed Pych know that he is getting sent home? Obviously the school is not able to deal with this so the school board will have to find someone that can. Why not phone the officer that dealt with your statement and see what she suggests bacause his statement is obviously not helping him any. I don't know if this will help but worth a try i've just phoned home and husband told me, the ed-psych is new to him (knows him through the last one who left) he's coming in on Monday, so could ask for tomorrow i guess, i'm just totally lost here, i dont know who to talk to, and i feel we are all being let down by everyone, the school dont want him, they have a room away from the main class for him (yes he is difficult, but isolating him doesnt help) he is lonely Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted March 17, 2011 (edited) hi all Son - 9 - fully diagnosed Aspergers, full statement my son has been sent home again for violence to the teachers. Is there anything i can do, my husband cannot go and get a job because we dont know when our son will be sent home. (i have asked him to find out what would happen if they called and my husband was not available) who can i ask for help? maybe the mainstream school is not the right place, but in that case where is? they tried at Cuckmere House which was lovely, but thats for boys with behavioural problems, not aspergers! can someone please tell me what i can do Hi ceridrial - first and foremost, don't let being at home be a reward for him. Make sure his day is spent doing exactly the same things he would be doing in school, then add additional sanctions because of his violent, aggressive behaviour. Make sure the sanctions are things that really matter to him - if he's a big gamer, console downtime, if tv/video/music/pc's his thing then no access etc. You've not given much info, but did he actually attend the 'behavioural problems' school you mention or was it an option they offered you? Fact is, if he's been sent home for violence to teachers AGAIN then he does have behavioural problems, and whether Asperger's is a factor in that or not it's certainly not the 'reason' for the behavioural problems. There's loads of info on the forum regarding behavioural management and strategies that might help, but they can only help if they're part of a package that includes firm, clearly defined boundaries and expectations and no-excuses sanctions and consequences when the boundaries are broken/expectations not met. You may be delivering on that already, in which case you can only stick to your guns on that while looking for other strategies etc that he may find more accessible. Not sure what the home dynamics are that stop your husband from working(?) Are you working and he is the 'house parent' or are you both not working and you feel you can't cope at home with your son on your own? If the former, and you really need the 2nd income, could your husband work part time or shifts, or could you rearrange your work to enable him to do so? if the latter, could your husband take over the homecare while you went to work? It is difficult, I know, and in this day and age where both parents are more likely to need to work it's something of a catch 22, but if the exclusions are made for reasonable reasons then it really does come down to the parents either to be available to care for their children or to make alternative arrangements If you genuinely feel the school isn't the 'right' environment for him then you're going to need to look for an alternative and gather evidence to show why he needs that alternative. If he's got a statement etc and the school keep having to exclude him then you should have evidence to help with the latter, and it's more urgent to look into the former. The school could possibly help greatly in this, if you speak to the senco/head etc and they're willing to go on record. If they are NOT willing to go on record/help then they're going to have to justify why he keeps being excluded if they can meet his needs. CAMHS too should be a first port of call, along with any other specialists who contributed to the steatement. Hope that's helpful, and sorry I haven't got time to list possible strategies now, but if you have a good look around the forum you will find lots of stuff. Using the search feature, 'Star Charts' 'Social Stories' 'Anger Management' etc would all be good. HTH L&P BD Edited March 17, 2011 by baddad Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisac Report post Posted March 17, 2011 Hi Ceridrial sorry to hear this. My son was frequently sent home from Special Schools so i do know how irritating it can be. I eventually called the SEN Dept and told them. They got on to the school and that put a stop to them keep calling me for a while . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ceridrial Report post Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) ok - i have a 10.30 meeting with the head mistress i did have a 10.30, but she has phoned and said that the main TA is too upset to deal with son today (because of the things that Son said), and the other one is off sick. thank you to all that replied We do have the 'homework if you are at home and should be at school and no playing' we have tried all the reward stuff, the charts, the removal of privelidges, the quiet place, the reading corner, the fighting the cushions, the boxing bag, the wii for excess energy.... the talking, the shouting the what i feel is everything.... Edited March 18, 2011 by Ceridrial Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
