matzoball Report post Posted March 18, 2011 Just a question, but when socialising or rather, interacting with other people on the spectrum - has anyone ever felt less valid as someone with an ASD because their coping skills are a lot more developed? I still love being on the course, but increasingly feel incredibly stupid in comparison to others there. That's a personal insecurity I know, but it's becoming more and more obvious in the way I am regarded by some trainees - that because they deem me less intelligent and more sociable - that I am less valid as a person because they don't feel I am on their level, or as 'aspie' as them so again am seen as some sort of leper. Doesn't the fact that I have a diagnosis AND that I have picked up software testing and basic programming in a matter of months mean I am as intelligent and as valid as they are? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted March 18, 2011 Hmmm, I think it's probably partly just human nature! I can remember with my first baby at the hospital ante-natal classes women being a bit 'sneery' if you weren't as far on as them, or your bump wasn't as big!! I think you just have to carry on being 'you'. Have you made any friends on the course? Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted March 18, 2011 Just a question, but when socialising or rather, interacting with other people on the spectrum - has anyone ever felt less valid as someone with an ASD because their coping skills are a lot more developed? In terms of this part of your question, yes. It's difficult to admit this but it's why I actively avoid ASD social groups. I just don't feel I fit in. I don't feel in many ways like others with an ASD, I don't share their outlooks on life, and don't want to be seen as different. I've seen (well at least this is my perspective) and ever growing contingent of 'super-aspies' recently - individuals who think themselves superior, better than others, more important, etc. because they have ASD. There also seems to me a growing "I have ASD, so I can't..." group. I (and yes this is my personal view) don't identify with either group. I am Mumble first and foremost and want to make a jolly good attempt at having as near normal a life as I can. I don't want to be seen as special because of my diagnosis (that doesn't mean I don't need support ), and if anyone gives me pitying looks... (only kidding, violence isn't part of my dx... I still love being on the course, but increasingly feel incredibly stupid in comparison to others there. That's a personal insecurity I know, but it's becoming more and more obvious in the way I am regarded by some trainees - that because they deem me less intelligent and more sociable - that I am less valid as a person because they don't feel I am on their level, or as 'aspie' as them so again am seen as some sort of leper. This is why I would never choose to work somewhere similar to you (not saying you're wrong, personal decision, blah blah blah) but because I don't identify as ASD as the first thing I am, I think I would find a community where people were supposed to be like me very difficult if I wasn't like them. I guess the thing to remember is that you are still an individual and your dx isn't a key to some community of identical beings. You wouldn't expect everyone who shared any number of diagnoses to be the same, and so that should be the case with ASD. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted March 18, 2011 I've seen (well at least this is my perspective) and ever growing contingent of 'super-aspies' recently - individuals who think themselves superior, better than others, more important, etc. because they have ASD. There also seems to me a growing "I have ASD, so I can't..." group. I would agree with this...and this new super-species of Uber Aspies also seem to think that basic good manners don't apply to them either...so maybe this is what you have encountered Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matzoball Report post Posted March 18, 2011 Hmmm, I think it's probably partly just human nature! I can remember with my first baby at the hospital ante-natal classes women being a bit 'sneery' if you weren't as far on as them, or your bump wasn't as big!! I think you just have to carry on being 'you'. Have you made any friends on the course? Bid I would say I am on friendly terms with everyone, I've been out for drinks with one person and enjoy sitting with the people at my desk - but I wouldn't say I've made friends per se - I think I am just going to redouble my efforts and do just that! Kill them with kindness Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
