frustrated son

[duncansmum]

hello everyone

 

my son has asd and is 15 going on 16, and as we all know life with them and for them is not easy, but when he feel cross frustrated or simply dont understand, how can i help him feel better, and deal with his feelings, we have very little comuncation with his school and so i just wondering if anything has gone apart from if someone is off sick and him worrying whats going on, as we all know our kids do like there routine and dont take kindly to change anyone got any ideas how i can help.

[kathyanne]

Hi Just thought id give you a quick reply.... my son has asbergers and is 21.... the worst part was when he was 15-16, probably due to hormones too... He seems to be melowing out now and being much more accepting of his asbergers, he also now trys to self help and is much more independant, so as your son gets older , things may get easier.Your message is a little confusing....its so hard to give an answer to your question. I guess, as parents we have to accept their asbergers and know that their behavior is a part of that, just being there, listening, and accepting their views( although these can sound irrational to us!) is so important. your son will thank you in the future for being there and at least trying to understand his world.Good luck.....life is always going to be a struggle, but we can make it easier by being a shoulder for them kat.

[frogslegs]

hello everyone

 

my son has asd and is 15 going on 16, and as we all know life with them and for them is not easy, but when he feel cross frustrated or simply dont understand, how can i help him feel better, and deal with his feelings, we have very little comuncation with his school and so i just wondering if anything has gone apart from if someone is off sick and him worrying whats going on, as we all know our kids do like there routine and dont take kindly to change anyone got any ideas how i can help.

I have had to learn how to help my son who was bottling up all his feelings which then left him explosive. He tells me what happened at school for example and I can see he is angry and my best question is 'how does it makes you feel?'. The first time I asked that, I was shocked by the response which was basically a vomit of emotions, tears, screams but he emptied his bag and things got better. He likes walking so we sometimes go out and he will talk to me then, away from home, sibling, TV....I try to make one to one time for him and not judge what he says even though sometimes I hear things that are very unreasonable. I always emphasize that I am on his side, that whatever he says to me is confidential but that I have the right not to agree and to give advice.

All the best.

[duncansmum]

thanks everyone

 

you know we as mums are always the ones that always seem to fight for what we think is right for our kids, and very often are the ones in the front line that get all the anger and frustration taken out on, but we too have needs, and i think there is only a few specail people who take on board the whole package, with our kids good and bad, and i am finding there are very special people who can do it.

 

i try to see my best as i can to see things from my sons point of view as he the one thats going to need the extra help through life, i suppose the best thing i can do for is encourage him to talk to me, and no matter what other people think or want, just let him know he can count on his mum and dad.

 

thanks so much for listerning.