Introduction

[Thomas66]

Hello,

 

I have a 13 year old daughter. Last year, we finally managed to got her onto an emotional counselling programme, and have also scheduled her to see a paediatrician. The process is agonizingly slow, and in the mean time my wife and I continue to experience a lot of worry and anxiety. We know that there is something wrong with our daughter and we could really do with some help.

 

It seems that, no sooner have we dealt with one problem than another surfaces. For example, my daughter frequently chews paper and also her clothes. We've just about msanaged to sort that out, through constant prompting. However, tonight, we found that she'd shaved some of her eyebrows off.

 

Although we've tried so hard to expand our daughter's world, by introducing hobbies etc, she resists this and tries to keep her world very small. At the moment, her life revolves around compiling photographs on the computer of various male actors she fancies. Also collecting DVDs of every film they've starred in. If a DVD gets so much as a little scratch, she gets very stressed by it.

 

I'd appreciate any advice on this forum. For example, how to get a diagnosis (it seems extraordinarily difficult). Also, do things get easier if/when a diagnosis is made?

[Naomumi]

Hi Thomas66

 

Personally I/we are in a whole other place to you trying to establish whether a diagnosis is relevant or beneficial for my 45 year old AS (??) hubbie, but I can hear your weary frustration at not being able to help someone you desperately care for, so I had to reply just to offer hope and good thoughts....

 

Hang in there........you are the stars in your daughters world, the ones who keep her world together, no matter how she may resist your best intentions.

 

Be Strong, Be Brave, Be Well........

 

Naomi <'>

[philipo]

Try to understand your daughters behaviour ,not just in terms of asd and its symptoms.While many people with asd's are generally later developers in the the world of emotions you should hold onto the reigns of normalness,for want of a better world and try to understand your daughters biologiciacal clock and puberty first.By inderstanding some of the typical strong asd behaviours and overlaying this on NORMAL BIOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT you may get a much better understanding of whats going on.For most people the natural change and awaremness of our more personal world and needs begins with puberty and its normal to have 'pin ups',for some of us its petula clark and for others it was once the bay city rollers.Where the daughters behaviour may appear more alarming is in its apparently obssesive nature,Come on when we were all younger we were generally the same as we projected outwards into the world our changing pubescant emotional needs.if your daughter has asd then its highly likley that this normal behaviour will be a lot more obsessive.The chewing thing is a sensory input and can be a result of various things.Some people chew their nails,or bits of cloth,or have a favourite teddy that gives a sensory/emotional comfort so don't worry too much or overreact to this behaviour,worrying does very little apart from increase anxiety and your daughter will pick up on it,creating higher anxiety for you all.Have a look at the wider subject of asd behaviours but keep it in context with normal development and puberty ,its just that at this time in her life emotions ,aspirations and the natural desire for self knowledge and independance will be far more charged and subject to natural anxiety and frailty.Talking is good and being honest about your own early teenage experiences,first loves etc..with her will help her realise we are all alot similar than different,asd's aside.

 

Naomumi ,,although its seems that diagnosis for most adults seems you are on a hiding to nothing,the main advantage is protection from the over abusive powers of the social security and the legal system which takes no notice of asd's unless they are extremly severe.As you are probably becoming aware the NHS and many so called specialist are in the dark ages and other than Conginitive behavioural therapy have nothing to offer except drugs,You could try the Hope Centre in Hebden Bridge for a more holistic and progressive approach to asd's,just concentrate on the benefits of asd with your partner,its highly likley he's a creative time bomb waiting to happen once he's more aware of his challenging traits.

Edited June 17, 2011 by philipo