philtfa Report post Posted June 6, 2011 I’ve always thought that I was different to others. I’ve always felt out of step with life. There’s a line from a song by Tindersticks… “You saw your life as a series of complicated dance steps, impossible to learn, it had to come naturally.” ...which sums it nicely for me. I often use lines from songs as my voice. Maybe that’s an aspie thing or maybe it’s my aspie thing. I’ve always found it very difficult to make myself understood and to understand others. Out of step, yes definitely. I’m 53 years old and have recently discovered that I have Aspergers Syndrome. Suddenly it all makes sense. There is a reason why. But. It doesn’t make me feel good. Aspergers has ruined my life. Maybe if I had known earlier, much earlier, it might have made a difference. Will it make a difference now and in the future? I hope so. As a child and adult I have had few friends. The overwhelming emotion associated with this is loneliness. I was and am incredibly lonely. It was and is incredibly painful. I feel trapped in my body, imprisoned in a world that is hard to understand and doesn’t understand me. I rely on others to help me but wonder if I’ve been taken advantage of and manipulated in the past. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tanya52 Report post Posted June 7, 2011 Hello and welcome I hope you will find a kind word and your community here, I really do. I'm 53 too! Isn't it a wonderful age? In fact, someone sent me some info based on one of the US scientific journals, that people in their 50-70 are at the pick of their intellectual productivity. Please, please leave your sorrow to your past – life is too short but also very precious. I have no friends too. I might never will, who knows. I have myself – to whom I trust. Sure you have your best friend –you, who is desperately wants to be liked a little bit more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted June 7, 2011 Hi and welcome to the forum. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RainbowsButterflies Report post Posted June 7, 2011 Hi and welcome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philtfa Report post Posted June 7, 2011 Thank you for your welcomes. It is good to know that there are others out there who, if not exactly like me, can understand where I'm coming from. To Tanya52: I never thought of 53 as a good age to be! I never thought of getting older as a good thing. I don't really like me but, perhaps for the first time, I can now start to understand me and maybe with understanding will come acceptance. Take care everyone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theo Report post Posted June 8, 2011 Hello! I'm new (not an officially diagnosed aspie) What you write is almost word for word how I would introduce myself. I'm 61 and a few weeks ago I found out about aspergers for the first time, purely by chance listening to a radio programme. I've started the gruelling process of trying for an assessment ...... I will post updates of my progess or lack of - this site is so empowering - it's such a relief to know that there are kindred spirits. Monica X Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philtfa Report post Posted June 8, 2011 Good luck Monica! Keep us posted. Phil Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
