How to deal with neighbours?

[matzoball]

I have had this place for 8 months now, and it's my own wee refuge from the world. I sweep my close(communal hall) every week, and keep myself to myself.

 

There is a fenced off bit of grass I was led to believe was my upstairs neighbours garden which up until 2 weeks ago was uncut.

 

One of the neighbours put a note through my door saying that how i kept the garden was not in keeping with how they do things, and i had to cut it immediately. They didn't sign it so I don't know which one did it. They also put it through my letterbox at 11.30 at night. Since I don't own a lawnmower I had to borrow one - then spent 2 hours cutting it.

 

My bedroom window faces out on the communal drying area(which I don't use), and I had my windows open but blinds shut on Sunday night. Three of them stood outside and talked about how I didn't fit in.

 

This morning(I was off work due to sensory problems after the launch of a project), another note was put through my door, saying 'stairs and close mopped and swept 18/07 Ruby'

 

I am close to tears as I don't understand why I am being subjected to intimidation like this.

[oxgirl]

Is it a situation where you have to take turns to sweep the communal areas and cut the grass? I didn't understand the note, are they saying that someone called Ruby swept the hall on that day and they were just letting you know so that next time it will be your turn to do it, or something like that? Have you spoken to any of the others about who does what and if there is a rota or something for when people take their turn? I have similar at my place in that the grass at the front of our house is shared with the neighbour. I must admit, the neighbour is much keener on mowing than we are, and he usually ends up doing it much more often than we do but there isn't a rota or anything, whoever sees it needs doing and gets to the mower quickest does it. Maybe at your place there is an 'unwritten rule', whereby people take their turns or something like that? Would you feel up to asking about it?

 

~ Mel ~

[matzoball]

Because I am gone before 7 in the morning and back late in the evening I don't see or talk to my neighbours - there's no rota or anything like that as far as I know. I have stayed in places with communal areas so I know to sweep and clean the hall which I do every week.

 

I'm just not sure what they mean by all of this - I feel intimidated now so dont feel up to talking to them

[baddad]

Hi matzoball -

 

Not sure, but could Ruby be a caretaker or something who has responsibility for doing communal areas?

 

What sort of housing is this? Is there a 'residents comittee' or anything like that (usually, if you have any shared amentities/communal areas or costs there will be). I'd contact the landlord/housing association and start by asking them - it may be you've just moved in and certain things expected of you as part of the tenancy weren't explained, and it may be that other tenants are feeling (because you haven't known what was expected) that you're 'cocking a snook'.

 

I think you need to ask a few questions and take it from there. If 'Ruby' is a neighbour, start with her, using the note as a starting point. If you don't feel ready yet to dive in by knocking on her (or anyone else's door) and asking/talking, just identify the right doors and pop some polite notes through of your own.

 

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

 

BD

 

NB: just seenm your latest post, and that 'gone before/home after 7' actually solves one problem, because any notes you do pop through doors can explain that, and you can say that you didn't want to be distrubing people when they were settled for the evening.

Edited July 19, 2011 by baddad

[matzoball]

It's a block of four flats, 3 are privately owned, mine is rented to me by the council.

 

I called the council when I got the second note, they said they actually check the building every week and if I wasn't doing what I was supposed to I would have heard from them directly. I think Ruby is one of the neighbours, as the note was on a wee scrap of paper.

 

The fact that they actually got together to ###### about me then put a note through my door...really disheartening.

 

If they expect me to adhere to some rules that they have for living here - they need to actually tell me what they are...

[Adam Mars]

3 are privately owned, mine is rented to me by the council.

 

 

Do the three that own privately know that you rent from the council? It seems to me that if they do, they might routinely regard anyone occupying that flat as 'not fitting in', and it might be more to do with you being a tenant rather than you personally.

[Lyndalou]

Who told you that the grass belonged to the upstairs neighbour? Was it the council and was anything in writing or did you just get told by a housing officer?

 

I used to lived in a tenement as an owner-occupier and was only one of two owners in a tenement of six flats. Myself and the other owner-occupier were the only ones who tidied the communal areas and the garden and quite often the security door was left wedged open. Most of the time we got on well with the tenants in the other flats and just accepted that tenants sometimes don't feel obliged to take care of communal areas although we put up signs if the door problem persisted!

 

The owners in the other flats may have lived there for years and like they say they like things done a certain way. If they don't see you it is quite possible that they also don't know you are sweeping the lobby weekly. Unfortunately, with doors opening and closing the dust quickly reappears and if they are basing their (wrong) opinion of you on the fact that they don't see you sweating mowing the lawn and they may have had bad tenants living next to them in the past then they might be reacting in a knee-jerk sort of way.

 

It may be very difficult for you but you need to speak to at least one of your neighbours and explain where you are coming from. If they gossip together you don't need to speak to them all unless you don't expect the message to be passed on accurately! You only have to say that you are sorry but you were told that the garden was not your responsibility but now you know how often is it cut? In the summer and with the rain it probably needs cut more! Also, say explicitly that you sweep the lobby but do not get defensive and again ask how often it is done etc. If you don't speak to someone soon, the bad feeling will just get worse but once you have agreed on a way forward you don't have to speak to any of them ever again.

 

Just don't get taken for a mug. You need to do your bit and nothing more.

 

Good Luck!