Confused new member

[Fourthdimension]

Hey people,

 

Recently, I was looking on my friends facebook profile and found that she had left a link to a discussion she had wrote about Aspergers and so unaware of what Aspergers was i went to read the post she wrote concerned for her.

 

Upon reading her feelings and symptoms i felt that this is the long lost piece to my missing puzzle. A conclusion to the continual search for answers that leaves me with a void of emptyness of total confusion.

 

I then searched up the symptoms i found that most if not all to some extent can be applied to my past and o my feelings now. So i went to my doctor who was extremely rude (as i had spent the night compiling 6 pages of how i feel my life relates to the symptom) to give the doctor a better idea of how i feel inside. The doctor never even looked at it and refered me to a concillor.

 

The weird thing is that people i know feel as if i dont have his and that i interact well with people but inside of myself i really do feel that i have this underneath he jungle of coping techniques that make me appear as my friends see me.

 

If i am right and i do have this then i wont be at all sad because i know that i would not be the only one and also i know that his can be part of the reason for my experiences and it kind of gives me an answer to the questions i have asked myself since i was young.

 

Although , finding out wether i had this proved to be a troublesome week as not only was i confused because of other peoples oppinions on the matter but stirring through all those repressed memories i have kept locked away for decades has made them surface again and for the last week i have felt very very down and lost, unmotivated and isolated. i have felt more alone in the past few days then i have in the past few years. Not just that but i think that maybe stirring through these memories has interacted with my schemata or coping techniques and as as a result my social interaction has greatly suffered as i have been unable to utilize the coping technqiues that i use to interact, during the past few days and not only have i been distant from society and treat people different and isolated myself even more than usual.

 

On a brighter noe feel free to call me by my name which is Michael or if you prefer then feel free to use my username. I am 23 and currently live in Newcastle - upon - tyne.

 

Anyother members from nearby?

 

I study psychology and hope to continue on to maybe linguistic psychology as i have a great love for foriegn languages and our cognitive selves I also work as a part time chef and occasionally help out teaching climbing, skiing and kayaking. Although i dont do much outdoor education any more it has took me a great many places and is responsible for making me who i am today and making it easier to learn to talk with people.

 

I also love studying and trying to keep reasonably healthy amonst my topics of which i study i like biology, philosophy and psychology and spirituallity and much more.

 

If anyone wants to chat or if anybody can offer me some advice on the matter i previously stated then that would be great.

 

If you dont mind i just wanna finish with a question :

 

Although i do isolate myself and sometimes can go for months without seeing any friends i feel that through learning and coping i have learned to interact although my method of learning has left me pretty open that once i start the conversation i end up telling them my life . I understand why i use such coping technqiues which usually are caused by socially anxiety and nervousness and the feeling of been inferior to everybody in a social situation which leads me to overcome the situation and act very confident in order to hide my real feelings. anyways , the question was ........ Can oneself learn to adequatly cope in a social situation and still have aspergers?

 

Thanks people much love and respect Take care

[philipo]

yes,to the last question.But firstly learn about the distinctions between high functioning autisim and aspergers,they overlap considerably.

 

the odds are your gp has'nt a clue and is stuck in an 'asperger and Autisim'.The term ASD or Autisim Spectrum Disorders has come into use causing a few ripples.

i would'nt beleive my asd ,all the 'mental' symptoms are pretty much swamped by 'symptoms' of many mental illnesses so are difficult to objectivley see.Concentrate on your physical tendencies,diet,clothes and things that touch your skin,sleeping patternsthere's lots of clear symptoms.One problem is what 's called the triad of impairments,this means that in several areas ,to a greter or lesser extent your a unique mix.

make a list of any odd or strict dietary tendencies,think about how you respond to light and sound and also touch(skin) taste and smells,do you get stressed by quiet noises getting louder and louder?there's a lot to it and thats why most asd'rs are still undiagnosed and the simplistic drug orientated mental health regime blunders valiantly on diagnosing a multitude of 'personality disorders' many of them based on short term observation or a simplistic checklist of symptoms.the nhs mental health services are mostly unaware they are involved in their own 'beleif system/philosphy' so generally stop at the first bustop they recongise as they have little experience of unseen territory.

You can contact the National Autistic Society,for what its worth.they can send you an imformation pack including a letter/introduction about autisim/asd to give to your gp.Don't expect much though the general gp knowledge base is limited to watching 'rain man' the film,and aspergers cases as being super intelligent social retards who live with their mums while hacking the pentagons computers,or,at the other extreme,people with extreme communicarion and behavioural problems.

This site is an excellent site to learn about the subject,(thanks for not banning me moderators,and sorry Mumbles)Just take your time.there's no 'cure' but there is a lot of help and guidance from people who've walked the path before,cognitive behavioural therapy,diet awareness and melatonin(a natural body chemical) seem a good way forward.In my OPINION although I'm not 'qualified' in the subject ,your letter does express a few traits but remember that the symptoms overlap a lot of mental health problems and mis diagnosis seems a common problem so take your time and don't jump to any conclusions.cheers philipo x

[indiscreet]

Hi Michael

 

Can oneself learn to adequatly cope in a social situation and still have aspergers?

 

From experience I would say one can - and it gets better with practice. However, it doesn't stop me being anxious beforehand and I prefer not have to stay in that social situation for too long.

[Fourthdimension]

@ Philipo - What is the difference between high functioning autism and aspergers?

 

- Which are the seven areas of the Triad of impairment?

 

thank you for replying My "T" key is not working haha so my apologies on any mistakes i might have made. I understand what you mean about not just the GP's stereotype on Aspergers but also societies stereotype/ I think that is why most of my friends that i confided in for a second oppinion ended up thinking i was a hypcondriac because in there minds they see aspergers and autism just as you described about Rain man and other unethical views. I can be pleased that i have never fell for that stereotype and at work a group of autistic young adults come in with a mentor as customers and when i serve them i give them the upmost repect and the same to the career/mentor. Although my peers do snicker about there physical disabillities . I dont. Sometimes my work friends if i can even call them hat try to make a joke and expect me to repsond to it light heartdley or expect me to laugh. Its disgusting the behaviour people have these days that lead to persecution of people from different walks of life and again your totally correct about NHS. According to the people giving the diagnosis there can be nothing unknown outside his book sitting on the desk and if there is then he'll just pop you some pills however if i choose to use something recreational such as canabis the doc would say no no no but its fine when he pops me a variety of synthesized drugs. "Thanks Doc, thats all i need" - idiot GP.

 

I have a habit for experimental investigation especially on the grounds of Astral projection and in doing so i have amongst other things used meltonin and valerian. Although valerian is n too bad its not great and the same with meletonin it greatly interferes with my sleep patterns

 

I have computerised a majority of what i was gonna show the doctors and in the document there is a plethora of matching symptoms the only reason i have nt yet posted it is because i doubt anyone will be interested in reading it but if anyone personally wants a copy so they can give a second oppinion or if people would read it then i am happy to post it.

 

jumping to conclusions was the hardest hurdle then rying to analyse wether my conclusion effected how i relate the symptoms to myself lol. However its all good now.

 

Thank you for your reply

 

@Indiscreet - Thanks for your reply and i agree because thats how i feel although i am not always anxious in social situations because most of the time i find refuge inside my own head to distract me from the external pressure and i always hate going into social situations . I mean if i look at things objectively i find social interaction can be more often than not totally irrelevant and needless so when i meet people i always look optimistic but inside i am so unmotivated when in there company.

 

When i have a girlfriend i dont mind spending time with her but can feel a bit pointless depending and also my mate use to pester me all the time he use to think that if he came around enough he could cure my social problems (this is before i even knew i had social problems) but most of the time he just came round because he knows i would get some beer in so he all came round cause he wanted something but i did nt want him to come round cause am not interested in finding out about him. He would throw little stones at my bedroom window to try and get my attention when i tried to avoid him and when i seen him standing there all smug i felt like smashing the winnow and pouncing on him - i dont see why people such as my friend might consider me unhappy because i dont socialise i am quite happy with my books lol. Sometimes i get quite inerested in certain people and i like it when tha happens when i want to discover the mystery they have portryayed lol

 

Thanks hun

 

take care all

[Fourthdimension]

lol sorry just wanna add a random fact - Indiscreet look at the date we joined mine is exactly a year after you lmao - anywyas just a random thing i thought i would point out lol

[indiscreet]

@ Philipo - What is the difference between high functioning autism and aspergers?

 

This is one definition which I've come across:

 

"People with High Functioning Autism have similar traits to those with Asperger's Syndrome, although people with AS generally have an awareness of their disability and that they are 'different' from others, coupled with a desire 'to be like everyone else' i.e. have friends, a girl/boyfriend and a job. This awareness and desire can often cause problems for an individual."

 

- Which are the seven areas of the Triad of impairment?

 

I've only heard of three:

 

Impairment of Social Communication

Impairment of Social Imagination

Impairment of Social Relationships

[Fourthdimension]

Thanks Indescreet, There very similar. I need to think of which one i am because am a bit confused and todays been terrible. It just feels like my coping techniques are failing loads now even in situations where i would usually build false confidence. Its because am more aware of it now and more consious of how i act thats why i am feeling the effects more and its starting to make me very uncomfertable.

 

For instance last year i got all distinctions in my classes and i tried to socialise with indiviaul members maybe women more than men and i got along well with most of them for a little while then one by one it started to feel that despite my attempt to try and interact i was been outcasted and they were stairing at me and thinking bad things.

 

I know fits not fully diagnosed but i told the teacher about it so she was aware that i could possibly have it and then she ticked it on my application form so i came back today and asked her to omit that detail because i dont wanna lean on anybodies shoulders and i have been capable for yours and now more than just capable of looking after myself but she refused to take it off and i told her that sometimes when i get nervous i can be really loud to try and take the attention away from the true me and as i was telling her these things i was backing away and she picked up on my body language and standing strong she said in a nice tone that i should come back and step back in the conversation so i did but was really just wanting for it to end and i was so confused about her body langauge because i thought she was making a bold statement but then when she was mentioning it she was just telling me that if i do need space she will take me somewhere comfy to sit n chill before going back into class as not to disrupt it and i felt really weird that she was treating me different and was nt sure wether she was been nasty or nice and she looked like she wanted to get away from the conversation yet she was calling me back into the conversation and i just been thinking this over loads and i dont know what it means i just been replaying it in my head.

 

then i heard someone snicker at my dress code and then i was in the shop and as i was walking away from the till i dropped mushroom on the floor and i said sorry and the lady in the line looked at me and said cheekly "why was he saying sorry for" so realising that i have a problem i tried to fix it by going to see my brother but all i was doing is falling asleep cause i had little sleep and he does nt really like me much to begin with

 

then an old mate rings me up and i go to his flat is disgusting and the way he acts as well really makes me fustrated and the way he mentions little simple things and moans about them for ages when he cant see the simple answer sometimes people just baffle me how they cant see the right thing to do or simple answers that is pretty much all around us and so i had to leave him because his depression was becoming catchy

 

so now am sitting back at home breaking my diet with some hot chocolate n food to replenish the the satisfaction that my petty day could nt provide - i make myself sound obesse when i mention comfort eating hahah but hey food provides what most people dont - " a complete mouth watering sensation that fills you every time "

 

anyways sorry for the off topic rant . ust needed to get it off my chest

Thanks

[Aeolienne]

This is one definition which I've come across:

 

"People with High Functioning Autism have similar traits to those with Asperger's Syndrome, although people with AS generally have an awareness of their disability and that they are 'different' from others, coupled with a desire 'to be like everyone else' i.e. have friends, a girl/boyfriend and a job. This awareness and desire can often cause problems for an individual."

Isn't a language delay also part of the definition? As in, HFAs have (or have had) a delay in learning to speak, people with Asperger's syndrome don't.

[trekster]

Some of the positive traits experienced by the autistic population include (according to some employment books);

 

honest (sometimes this can be a problem

hardworking

punctual

not interested in 'office gossip'

can be hyperfocused on the task in hand

caring (but in a different way to NTs eg if a friend brings up a problem i offer them practical advice

one of my friends was thinking about moving branches of the supermarket he works at. I suggested

he try one up the road from him but also suggested he consider one near a train station as he can

get a disabled adult railcard there. He hadn't realised it was so close to the train station even though

the journey is only 15mins. Unfortunately hes still at the same place stuck in his routine. When he told

me he thought he was bi i suggested he talk to 'S' who has lots of gay friends. He came back and thanked

me shortly afterwards as that really helped him). i haven't read your thread but if you mentioned to me that

you lived near to Bristol or Bath i might have mentioned social groups in this area, also social groups in

other areas.

 

i totally get the 'ok so i might have aspergers what now?' type of feeling.

 

Books specifically about autism and females point out that 'delayed imitation' is a positive coping strategy

for dealing with being autistic. This is where you learn positive social skills by coping others in a similar way to

an actor copying from a script. You may have learnt how to order a drink from a bar by watching others but

if your drink wasn't available it might 'throw' you a bit trying to think of another alternative. I've had this problem

with ordering food especially as there are certain things i cant have. Other people suggesting what i could have

is a bit overloading as i need to be able to read the menu, remember what hidden ingredients are there, decide

under pressure and hear another person at the same time. Thats a lot of brainpower for an already stressed autistic

to deal with. To an outsider i may just look a bit indecisive and others may not understand the complexities of

the situation and how i cope with the outside world. Also they dont see how hyperactive i am later on as my

brain processed the days activities.

[trekster]

This is one definition which I've come across:

 

"People with High Functioning Autism have similar traits to those with Asperger's Syndrome, although people with AS generally have an awareness of their disability and that they are 'different' from others, coupled with a desire 'to be like everyone else' i.e. have friends, a girl/boyfriend and a job. This awareness and desire can often cause problems for an individual."

 

i dont wish to be like everyone else as im not like everyone else.