Struggling with work

[rail_enthusiast]

Hi there,

 

I am a 30 year old male and have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. I also have Dyspraxia which was diagnosed when I was a teenager.

 

Without digressing too much, I have always found life to be a struggle, social, academic, practical and work. Due to the fact that I have always come across as quite soft and well spoken, it was often people from poorer backgrounds who victimised me at school. I had a very dictatorial and unsympathetic father, which in many ways forced me to develop what I believe to be subconscious coping mechanisms.

 

As a teenager I was obsessed with PCs (probably due to the absence of friends or a social life), and learnt a great deal about PC hardware and desktop operating systems under my own steam. It would seem a logical progression that I have been working in IT for the past 10 years, and up until about three years ago was able to cope with things pretty well. I believe that my success in the IT/PC support field was largely attributable to what I had taught myself independently and the fact that I have good customer service skills (I am very passive and overly polite). I do not believe that I have the capability to engage in group or directed learning, and that I am only capable of learning through self directed study/problem solving.

 

Over the past few years I have been promoted into various different back office/infrastructure roles, which are far more reliant upon technical, organisational and analytical skills, and not so much on customer service. I foolishly let my ego run away with it's self and believed that I would be capable of doing such jobs. However, a healthy dose of realism brought out by 7 days in a new job has shown me that I am out of my depth.

 

Although I have always felt incredibly stressed out, worried and unhappy at work, things have recently got much worse.I feel incredibly stressed out and out of my depth at the moment, and just don't know what to do. Quite a few people on my new team seem quite unhelpful and seem to be unwilling to help me and tend to fob me off quite a bit. Feeling out of my depth is making me feel panicked, which it's self makes me less able to digest, assimilate and analyse information.

 

To speculate on the source of my woes :I believe that working in a back office/infrastructure role requires the ability to get information out of other people, understand and conceptualise a massive picture, and work closely with others. Conversely, working in a PC support/helpdesk role is well within my capabilities because I am able to concentrate on one thing at a time, and in most cases fix problems independently without relying on or having to engage others for assistance.

 

 

I'm really not sure how much more I can take of this, I certainly can't imagine existing like this for another 40 years. I feel like I have a lot to lose (eg very good wage), which is making me feel even worse.

 

I have an overwhelming feeling that IT isn't the right field to be working in. I enjoy helping people (eg showing them things/sharing my knowledge) and dealing with animals, but have no idea what kind of career would be suitable for someone who as AS like myself. Although I'm good at working things out and problem solving on the fly, I don't think that I am suited to roles which require the ability to learn or grasp complex concepts.

 

Also, if everything goes wrong, what kind of benefits will I be entitled to?

 

What on earth can I do? I'm losing the will to live

 

Thanks for reading this, any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Edited October 4, 2011 by rail_enthusiast

[darkshine]

Hello It sounds like you've gotten stuck on a bit of a downer, coping with diagnosis and what that means for you, and with the change of job things may be feeling overwhelming.

 

7 days isn't long to settle in at anything - but if you really feel that this work is completely out of your depth and this isn't just a wobble cuz of change and self-doubt, it might be worth seeing if you can be transferred back to something similar to what you were doing before?

 

If you want a positive outlook (although I aint the best one for that) technically you can do anything you want to do, just because a thing seems out of your limits doesn't mean you cannot learn and cannot stretch yourself. Just because you have AS doesn't mean that your life will go down the pan and you'll end up on benefits (DLA usually by the way in answer to that question but there may be others).

 

Someone said to me - look at what you can do and not what you can't, and if you can't, ask why you can't, can you learn? try? or are you happy not to? at the end of the day it very much depends on you...

 

Well, that's my positivity all used up

 

Good luck in life

 

Darkshine

[Sally44]

Can you please clarify some things.

 

You started by saying that you are good at some aspects of IT. But then say that you don't enjoy your work at all.

 

Is there an aspect of IT that you are good at and enjoy? If so pursue that path.

 

7 days in a new job is not long. And how you are feeling now is how everyone feels, but you have added anxiety and added difficulties with social communication. You may feel different/better in some time.

 

Do your work collegues/employer know that you have Aspergers? Did you get an induction to your new job? Is it possible to speak to your manager about receiving some additional support in your new position. Or if that is not an option could they transfer you to another department that is more suitable?

 

Regarding leaving/losing your job, I would speak with Citizens Advice about that. Make an appointment to meet an advisor if you can. As I understand it, if anyone leaves their job voluntarily they are not entitled to any benefits for a certain number of months. That maybe different if you left your job for medical reasons - ie. you would need your GP to sign you off for some considerable time etc.

 

Is there additional help/support via your Job Centre. They should have someone who specifically helps/supports people who are disabled [sorry to use that term, but sometimes it is the 'words' that get you access to certain support]. Again you would probably need to make an appointment, but they might be able to find a different job that was more suitable for you.

 

Anxiety is common amongst those on the spectrum. But it is not healthy, and you should try to work as best you can to reduce your anxiety. I hope things start to feel easier for you soon, or that you make some positive moves to something you enjoy and can cope with.