Confused

[aceartist]

Hi

I was diagnosed a few years ago but was never told what Asperger's actually is.

Several people have remarked that I obviously have Aspergers but can't or won't tell me what they mean by that.

I've read descriptions of Aspergers on Wikipedia etc, but I have absolutely no idea what it is that I do that makes people say "you obviously have Aspergers"......I just have no clue in what way I'm different from other people. I don't feel different, but I've been called a weirdo my whole life and I just don't know why.

There is no support group in my area, so my only contact with other aspergers people is a friend on facebook who has a son with the condition (is that the right word? I have no idea).

I'm 50 if that makes any difference.

[Tally]

Hello, and welcome to the forum.

 

I am an adult with Asperger's. There are a few more of us here. I hope that talking with others with Asperger's will be helpful for you.

 

I think you must have taken an unusual route to diagnosis, because most adults have to push very hard for assessment. But for you it sounds like you had no idea you could have Asperger's and the diagnosis came as a surprise.

 

With Asperger's, we can sometimes be very unaware of how we come across to others. This is because we lack social awareness and might not realise that our words or body language are unusual.

 

Even though I suspected I had Asperger's before I got my diagnosis, I am still learning new things about where I'm going wrong socially. It can take a long time to work out where you are different and what you can do about it. It sounds like you need a bit of help with this first stage. It might be helpful to go back to your GP or the person who diagnosed you and ask for some support with this.

[Kathryn]

Hi aceartist

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

For most people who are diagnosed as adults, the process seems to begin with a growing feeling that they are different, and this in turn leads them to approach professionals with a view to getting a diagnosis. What led to yours?

 

K x

[aceartist]

Thank you both.

I have a friend who has a son with Aspergers and another son without. We'd lost touch for a while but met up again.

I spent a Sunday with the family and later on I said to her that I felt that the diagnosis of her two kids was the wrong way around.

She laughed and said that it had been amazing to see how well I'd connected with her Aspie son..."he doesn't usually take to people in that way."

I said "yes...he's the most normal person I've met for years and then she said "So when were you diagnosed?"

I wasn't sure if she meant my schizophrenia, but it turned out that she meant Aspergers.

I said that I didn't have Asperger's and she just laughed (in a nice way) and said "oh yes you do".

I found a few tests online. I can't remember exactly how they were scored, but basically, you were supposed to be 6 or something and I was getting 55.

I emailed the test to my friend and she scored within the normal range.

Anyway, I asked my psychiatrist about it and he told me that he'd known that I have Aspergers for years.

I asked him why he hadn't mentioned it and he said that he would have if I was a teenager, but he didn't see how knowing could help an adult.

Anyway, over the next months I saw various people, did tests, had talks with a psychologist etc and eventually was told that I have aspergers.

They would only answer my questions with statements such as "That's difficult to say" "It varies" " etc

The only support group in my area closed down years before.

Over the years I've been told I have a 'specific learning difficulty' but the specific part has never been explained to me so I wonder if there's a connection.

I went to uni and got a degree, so I do function, but I've never been part of a group..I've tried going out for a pint with people, but I just don't connect the way others do, but I can't put my finger on why.

[aceartist]

Oh well, I've waited for quite a while for a reply, but this site seems to be dead.

I had high hopes for finding out about my Aspergers....it's a shame this is another dead end.

[Fudge]

Oh well, I've waited for quite a while for a reply, but this site seems to be dead.

I had high hopes for finding out about my Aspergers....it's a shame this is another dead end.

 

 

hiya...

 

What a shame you feel that way but the forum isn't as busy as I thought either.. I am a mum of a 10 year old with Aspergers and also have come online to seek help and advice.... Perhaps NAS in your local area can put you in touch with others similar.

 

I hope you find out the info you need. It's difficult when you don't really know where to go for advice.....

 

All the very best.

 

F x

[Kathryn]

Hi Aceartist

 

I assure you we are very much alive here (well most of us anyway ) I'm sorry you haven't received the responses you were looking for - but maybe you're looking for answers which are impossible to give? Although some people here may have expertise in specific areas, none of us are posting here as experts on ASC and even if we were it would be inappropriate to offer any kind of definitive opinion over the internet- we can only offer you our own experiences and try and point you in the right direction for further help if we can.

 

Without ever having met you, and going only on the description above I would find it impossible to say what it is about you that has led others to believe you have AS. It's unfortunate that no one who has met you has been forthcoming in telling you. Perhaps they are scared of offending you by appearing to be critical?

 

Have you tried reading some of the many good books which are around - both those which describe ASD and the excellent autobiographies that have been written by people with AS? You might find something you recognise in feelings or patterns of behaviour described by others. Reading widely - especially the autobiographies- certainly helped my daughter to understand herself better. If you want some recommendations, have a look around the forum or ask us.

 

K x

[AspieMe]

I think sometimes it can be like an echo chamber on this forum. I for one have been busy for the last few weeks, but to be honest there wasn't really much I could say so (keeping to type) I just chose to stay quiet.

 

You'll find if you post a specific question you'll get lots of replies and various opinions so feel free to ask if there is something you are unsure of.

 

From reading your posts, you are obviously a very bright person who appears to function quite well. I was surprised by my own recent realisation of my own diagnosis, but looking back on life it answers a lot of questions about the difficulties I have experienced in life. Even though I don't consider myself to be dramatically affected, it is when life gets complicated that I now realise that often it is ASD that holds me back.

 

Personally I started reading all I could on AS. There is lots of literature out there, personally I found Tony Attwood's book a great help as it spelt out exactly what AS is and how it manifests. It helped me to realise just how many aspects of my life are affected by this. Next on my list are some of the biographies that are out there, of which there are may (there's a post on here somewhere listing bio's out there). In addition, have you tried the NAS? (www.autism.org.uk) there's lots of information there that may help.

 

Good luck in your search for information, and feel free to ask questions.

[darkshine]

Echo chamber is a good one sometimes its so busy I can't keep up and other times its dead dead quiet... I've been very run down since then beginning of October - maybe everyone's hibernating with winter blues (I know I know... its only autumn but its cold and dark and rubbish so it might as well be classified as winter)...