coradia Report post Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) I've been avoiding this forum for a while intentionally for fear that knowing too much about Aspergers would limit myself and my horizons subconciously. In simple words, I'm afraid I would just blame everything on AS and end up doing nothing. Well, tonight was a bad night... My mum has flown a long distance to visit me because she was worried about my condition. It is an extremely loving gesture and the act of a responsible mother. The catch is, she is an extravert with plenty to say about life. She's been screwed over many times by others and thus her only opportunity to let out her extraversion is with her family. My dad's learnt how to keep her quiet after many wild arguments over the years, my older sister had the guts and patience to grumble rudely over a period of many years to shut her up, leaving me. I'm naturally good-natured and do not like seeing people unhappy, else my concience would hurt. Especially my mum and family members. Basically, I'd feel absolutely awful if I shunned her, but I would also feel awful if I did not. Lose-lose situation and I'm probably an Aspie, and there's a reason CBT for Aspies aren't supposed to last over 15 minutes... So tonight, my mum was going to visit one of the few friends who hasn't screwed her over. I didn't want to go, but the prospect of her returning late in the evening and expecting a long chat with me afterwards made me decide I would go. I'm starting some really early morning volunteering soon and didn't want to stay up past 10pm. Obviously the plan has failed as I'm typing this... So we chat on the train - it's an hour's journey. About the flatmates ripping me off, and how to deal with these false people who are in excellent social standing. About my lifestyle choices (because I find gaming highly rewarding and satisfying - unlike the "real" world...quite unfortunate), and about my job hunting situation. She is the "do, do, do, no matter what" kind of person and I'm the anxious person. Said friend is a Malaysian extravert, who can just talk nonstop and steer the conversation her own way. 2 hours later, we parted and I felt really cranky after that. Another long train journey home and I just couldn't stand it any more. I get annoyed at the dosage of "serious stuff" which has been lasting hours, and my mum gets annoyed at how I react to the advice that she is so kindly giving me. I have unrealistic expectations in wanting my mum to make adjustments due to my Aspergers. She has unrealistic expectations of a young person with Aspergers expecting to shoulder her additional 30 years' experience in one go. Despite her calls for positive thinking and positivity, I find it hard take her advice positively when I'm getting such an overdose due to her limited time with me. The fact that I'm battling against a world dominated by 99% NTs and searching for work when there is an 88% unemployment rate for Aspies is heroic, I would like to think but it doesn't stop my mum's drivel. As we got off the train, the stream of passengers all headed for the one exit out of the station. My mum wandered by herself towards the transfer tunnel. I was exasperated - I consider being able to identify the correct station exit an essential life skill. After all, the "Way Out" signs in the tube/overground stations are in the exact same colour, font and usually found in the exact same place! My mum is not a newbie to the UK. So I go away thinking, "old age" is a valid excuse but Aspergers not? Edited January 11, 2012 by coradia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfly73 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 Hi Coradia! I hope you don't mind me asking: Are you just venting, which obviously was needed.. ..or do you also have a question or something? Love, B'fly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted January 11, 2012 I just find you admitting you avoid this forum and the reason you avoid this forum funny sorry but it did make me smile it sorta makes sense - except I guess you might learn things that could raise your horizons too - depends how you look at it Personally I admit I have AS on here, and don't admit it in my life - so I'm just as bad I like gaming too, I like that I have the control of what is happening and that it all makes sense without needing explanations or words, and I find that brilliant. Sounds like you had a bad night - one good thing about bad times is that they have to end eventually Best Darkshine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
coradia Report post Posted January 12, 2012 LOL! I do seem to have a decent endurance of acting 'normal' relative to people with Asperger in general but I do love recharging my batteries through gaming. It gives me pleasure for the very reason darkshine mentioned. The reason for posting was... 1. Obviously to vent. 2. To share my experience with people of similar condition to get an idea of what others go through with their own lives and parents. Anyway, had a really fulfilling but tiring day today so I'm pretty content for now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted January 13, 2012 (edited) Hey That's cool - I just replied on the spur of the moment My parents are nothing like that for the most part, but they have their own flaws lol my mum can be a right one for complaining when out and about (which just makes me cringe and want to fall into a hole in the ground as she does it in a very aggressive way) and my dad has a very bad habit of shouting my name (or other people's sometimes) from about 300 metres away or from the other side of a large store, making everyone look at us both - or worse he whistles at people to get their attention - a 2 fingers in mouth type of LOUD whistle - again from FAR away, and with as many people as possible between us so they all stare - SO embarrassing!!! Edited January 13, 2012 by darkshine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
