Special_talent123 Report post Posted February 17, 2012 me and my family have split up today, i have had enough of the way they treat me because of my disabilieis they treat me like a kid, and find it funny too pretend my sister Bi to get my attention when they know im gay and i know they lie. They humilate me in town and online valentines mum and sister said that she (sister) have a boyfriend and then the next says she Bi. Now im confused. They know im gay and practically playing with me here. Since when has my sister had a girlfriend never. My sister humilate me in public and i don't want the whole world to know. Then they treat me like a kid but also a house slave. The things they came out with are appauling; youth workers and other have seen messages they said me. Here how they treat me. Our family is over. I feel i need a hug from people but now got no family left.... only cousins and my step grandma will probably ditch me because of that. People told me they don't deserve me because they treat me quite badly and now ive just had enough and ended it. It all went on from a blank message accidentally said, when she said hi- i thought that were strange because no message with it and i say 'what do u want', then she replies next time u reply say 'hi', because saying 'what do u want is rude'. I said well your rude any way and then she went what do i do, and i basically said 'don't u pretend , we all know what your up to and pretending my sister is bi and stuff' then she goes 'what the H , talk when u are in better mood'. I replied 'im not bothering anymore, you had your last chance and blew it im moving away good bye' Sorry im ranting. I just need a hug and don't know where to turn to Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted February 18, 2012 Hi To be honest, it sounds like your sister was trying to make a real effort and at the same time perhaps advise what's socially appropriate. Perhaps it's a series of misunderstandings/communication issues between you that have escalated. Obviously, I don't know without knowing all the ins and outs. Perhaps give each other a bit of time, but sometimes it does no harm to bite the bullet and wipe the slate clean i.e. start again with them by putting these issues in the past. In addition, going from your previous posts, your sexuality is a big thing to you and in some way is bound to define who you are. However, I personally feel that a person's sexuality is neither here nor there - sexual preference is a very personal thing and whilst you should be able to talk about it openly, it's actually a very small part of who you are. Hobbies, interests, feelings, thoughts, and so many other things are part and parcel of you. Sorry, don't mean to sound unsympathetic or dismissive (I'm not being), really just trying to convey that it's obviously a difficult time for you 'coming out' and perhaps it's something you're very sensitive about, whereas your family are perhaps trying to make light of it (joke) and in doing so think their being supportive. I'm not on speaking terms with my sister or my mother mainly because I feel that they're very self-absorbed individuals whom have never provided me with support at particularly difficult times (I was diagnosed with a rare degenerative eye disease and have since undergone various procedures and surgery - I have a graft, and I have an extremely challenging 10 year old son who has AS). You really have to be sure that you can go it alone if you decide not to meet them half way or make an effort to patch things up. It's not reasy! I can't say one way or another, but you really need to weigh up whether the issues you've had with your family are irrepairable. Hope a new day sheds new perspective on things. Best wishes. C. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted February 18, 2012 this has been going on far to long and i ccant let this continue. its going to make me ill. people are shocked with what they send me and stuff, even professionals have seen it. there is no way i want to make up for this any more. im going to have to cope with this. I have gave them a number of chances and blew it, i constantly tell them off for the way they treating me and i will not let this be got away with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted February 18, 2012 family have never been there for me when i need them Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted February 18, 2012 To be honest, it sounds like your sister was trying to make a real effort and at the same time perhaps advise what's socially appropriate. I agree, and that was my first thought on reading the initial post. In particular there was this advice: i say 'what do u want', then she replies next time u reply say 'hi', because saying 'what do u want is rude'. To me, your sister was being helpful in suggesting a more socially appropriate response, modelling this for you and making it clear why your response was inappropriate. My sister (and others) have done this a lot for me and it has been enormously beneficial. Perhaps you need to accept her advice and be less defencive? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted February 18, 2012 well im just ranting. any way its not how it seems. there has been a lot going on over years and u don't know stuff. professionals know it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted February 18, 2012 any way our family is over. im not letting them hurt me any more. part of the reason my sister hurt me physically in past and can get hurt again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted February 18, 2012 Hi Special_talent123 It's okay to 'rant' - in fact, it can be therapeutic. It can be a let down when people don't necessarily interpret things in the same way that you do (or I do, etc), but the one thing about this forum is that you generally get feedback from others, NT and AS. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's worth trying to view things from how others might have intended or viewed things. It sounds like your relationship with your folks is tricky and that the difficulties may lie very much with how they perceive you/AS and in turn how you view them. In some of your posts you give quite an emotional response (not a criticism), but my advice would be to try not to react without thinking things through. For example, after attending many frustrating meetings with education professionals, there have been times when I've been extremely cutting in my remarks and not held back with criticism. Over the years, I've learnt to try and think why they've handled certain situations they way they have, what restrictions are placed upon them, etc etc. In trying to see things from the other side of the fence, it's made things easier and I think we mutually have a better understanding. Take care. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Special_talent123 Report post Posted February 18, 2012 hi caroline, im struggling to get my words across. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted February 19, 2012 I agree, and that was my first thought on reading the initial post. In particular there was this advice: To me, your sister was being helpful in suggesting a more socially appropriate response, modelling this for you and making it clear why your response was inappropriate. My sister (and others) have done this a lot for me and it has been enormously beneficial. Perhaps you need to accept her advice and be less defencive? i would also find a random message from someone upsetting saying 'hi' confusing. i prefer people to say 'hi how are you' rather than just text me a random 'hi' message. It sounds like ST needs a break from her family, once shes not there they might appreciate her more and be more understanding if they see her again. Hugs and good luck with moving to a better place. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted February 19, 2012 Hi Special_talent123 It's okay to 'rant' - in fact, it can be therapeutic. It can be a let down when people don't necessarily interpret things in the same way that you do (or I do, etc), but the one thing about this forum is that you generally get feedback from others, NT and AS. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's worth trying to view things from how others might have intended or viewed things. It sounds like your relationship with your folks is tricky and that the difficulties may lie very much with how they perceive you/AS and in turn how you view them. In some of your posts you give quite an emotional response (not a criticism), but my advice would be to try not to react without thinking things through. For example, after attending many frustrating meetings with education professionals, there have been times when I've been extremely cutting in my remarks and not held back with criticism. Over the years, I've learnt to try and think why they've handled certain situations they way they have, what restrictions are placed upon them, etc etc. In trying to see things from the other side of the fence, it's made things easier and I think we mutually have a better understanding. Take care. Caroline. When autistics are upset they are unable to think logically when responding, they just do things and cannot think them beforehand. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekster Report post Posted February 19, 2012 hi caroline, im struggling to get my words across. Sounds like your shaken up, if you want to PM me feel free to, 1 particular member of my family caused my CPTSD. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
