Looking for advice / a pointer in the right direction. I think I have a problem.

[Luciano Giampaglia]

I’m 29 years old, and I’ve been wondering about this for years. I have difficulty as an adult in a number of areas of my life and its starting to bug me. Now, I have absolutely no clue about anything, I`m here more in hope of an opinion. I appologise if any one resents me using your good forum in this way, but I simply didnt know where else to go

 

Learning:

I find it HUGELY difficult to read anything that isn’t interesting to me (i.e. if my brain doesn’t deem it relevant its like the words become a pile up at times) This makes learning anything out of normal context, i.e. a new job, quite difficult unless I find it, I don’t know, useful? engaging?. I have always been able to learn MUCH better, by doing over reading. As you can imagine, education was a general nightmare for me, resulting in completely disconnected teenage years.

 

Words:

Often I have found words misplaced in a sentence I have written, or in the wrong order. For this reason I have barely touched a pen in ten years. Its annoying at times as I have to spell & sentence check literally everything I write (which of course includes this). Also I can have difficulty spelling small words but have absolutely no problem with the likes of onomatopoeia... ! however, the correct use of their/there or the spelling of "beautiful" escapes me without looking it up.

 

Speech:

This can be frustrating to me as I am quite eloquent in my speech, but even that at times has the ability to truly put my foot in it without thinking. Sometimes making me either look an idiot or serve to be the laughing stock of others. Describing something like an event in my day to a friend, is also difficult, I will rattle off every minute detail about it rather than getting to the point, I try not to but I cant help it, often to the boredom/irritation of the person listening. Thankfully my friends will often interrupt with “get to the point...”

 

Organisation:

Prioritising things is a task and a half. There are things I know I should do, I know I "HAVE" to do them, but they just don’t get done. I have had some forms here I need to fill in, they are still on my desk right here. And have sat here for 14 months... WHY>??! I will only even think about the damned things just before bed, "ooo crumbs, must do those tomorrow..."

 

And that will be the last thought on it till I recall them again... Just one example of many.

 

Mood:

more often depressed than not, a desperate obsession that all things must be fair in life in any scenario. I am way too easily hurt, I take everything to heart and I worry about situations that have nothing to do with me. I don’t like anyone to disturb things around me, even if I haven’t finished something yet, I am grateful that a friend will try to help but get deeply annoyed when I am not left to do it my own way, (which is often slow, convoluted and incorrect)

 

Friends:

I havent made a new friend in nearly a decade, thankfully I have a couple of very good friends who if it wasnt for them turning up on my doorstep I would probably never see. I dont know why but I find it so very difficult to maintain contact with people who are not often in front of me. This includes family

 

Body language:

I`m quite laid back generally but prone to passive/aggressiveness. Also I’ve noticed on many occasions people telling me to sit the hell still because I’m jiggling my foot, always the foot...

 

Projects:

Capable of starting 15 things at once, incapable of finishing one...

 

History:

I never was tested for anything, I did have a chat with my mother about this the other week, she told me that when I was 4 years old, we were in a waiting room, there were some small weights, and some coloured blocks. I organised the weights according to size and weight and the blocks according to colour and size, odly enough I actually have a vague recollection of it. After that came the constant taking anything electrical apart and the urgent need to push any given button within a few feet of me... that was fun when I broke my aunties washing machine aged 8

 

Sadly this was 1986. Nobody thought much of these things back then.

 

Self Diagnosis:

I know, I know... bad idea! hence I am not looking for a diagnosis online, however I have ran a bunch of indicator tests today which prompted this Question/ essay! from the likes of phsychcentral.com and the NHS here in the UK. and they all come up with moderate to severe scorings.

 

I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it, or even if there is anything to do anything about... All I know is, I have an above average IQ, and yet I feel so, "limited" with certain things in daily life. Its hard to explain and physically frustrating to me to think about it. I apologise if my descriptions are lacking. Ive done the best I can.

 

So, If I`m being a silly sod and wondering about nothing then I`m sorry if Ive taken up your time, but if someone out there thinks theres more too it than personal stupidity on my part (or even if you think thats all it is), please, let me here you.

 

Thanks for your time.

 

Luc.

Edited April 4, 2012 by Luciano Giampaglia

[Luciano Giampaglia]

28 views and not a peep. ?

[Tally]

Hi Luc, and welcome.

 

It sounds like you have significant difficulties, which are worth investigating. Understanding the cause can help you find solutions or treatments.

 

There's quite a lot there that does sound like Asperger's/ASD, so I think it's a good idea to look into this further.

 

But there are other things that don't really sound like ASD - none that rule it out, but it may be that you have several different conditions at the same time. Your reading/writing difficulties may be dyslexia. Your difficulty getting things done may be ADD - you don't have to be hyperactive to have ADD, ikt's also about concentration. It may be that you have some depression and OCD as well.

 

It might be worth talking a bit more to your mum about things, and see what her opinion is. With ASD, sometimes we are unaware of how we come across to others, and your mum may be aware of things about you that you are not. So she might be able to help you understand better how you are different.

[darkshine]

Hi Luc

 

I had an almost exact list to yours (the only difference is from the "self diagnosis" section onwards - every thing above are huge factors in my life and throughout my life. I presented that list to mental health teams for years - but not in so logical a way.

 

I am 31 and was diagnosed with asperger's a year ago - unintentionally

 

I don't like telling people what to do - its up to you whether you seek a diagnosis to find out whether or not you have asperger's - although some people don't seem to have much luck with that and I don't know anything about how to do that either (other than speaking to your GP).

 

Sorry if that's not much help

 

Best

 

Darkshine

[LancsLad]

Luciano this a really difficult one to answer and is the type of question that comes up reasonably frequently on the forum.

 

I think the big question to ask yourself is how much impact are these things having on your life and if you could attatch a label to them would it really make any difference in your life. I recieved my diagnosis for Asperger's nearly three years ago and on the whole it has been a positive thing for me. I can also say that many people with AS would say that this is a very destructive thing in their lives, there are a lot of mixed views from the Aspie community on this forum and all of them are equally valid.

 

Getting a diagnosis is a long drawn out process and you will need the support of your GP in this. At the end of the day a diagnostic decision for an adult will be based on an expert looking at a range of elements and making a decision are there enough of them consistently present, and at a significant level in your life to warrant a formal diagnosis. The amount of support available pre and post diagnosis varries considerably across the country and a reasonable default expctation would be expect nothing.

 

I think you need to bear in mind that Asperger's as a condition is a life long thing, there is no cure available, rather there may post a positive diagnosis be a bit better chance to get help from some services in respect to individual issues but again this is patchy.

 

You will have to weigh things up in your own mind, this is a very personal decision. On looking through your list there might be elements of autistic spectrum traits in there, but it could also be argued these sort of things are pretty widespread in the general population, only you will know how severe they are. What I will say is that you are open and honest. It would have been easy to read up a bit on the condition and recycle that information in diagnostic speak, instead you have explained things in your own everyday way. I would look through the forum and go back through a range of posts and try and get a feel for what individuals already diagnosed see as their average life experiences. If this then feels very similar to your own experiences I would do a bit of research there are some good books out there. If you then feel like taking this a stage further you will need to go and see your GP and sound them out.

 

Best wishes.