JeanneA Report post Posted April 30, 2012 Hi there, I just wondered how your son was getting on since being admitted? I hope all is going well, I'm sure it is not an easy time for you and your family but I'm sure the outcome will be worth while. Just wanted you to know we are all thinking of you on this forum. Jeanne :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandapanda Report post Posted April 30, 2012 Thanks Jeanne Things aren't going too badly. Aw came home for a night this weekend and went back without making any fuss. He's appealing against the section and there is a Tribunal tomorrow morning which I will be going to. He was told that if he made a fuss about going back to hospital after the night at home the police would be called and that wouldn't look good at the Tribunal. He texted me for the first time ever after we got home after dropping him back to hospital. It said "Don't forget my pocket money". He makes me laugh! When we are at the hospital he is more chatty with us and laughs sometimes. At home he just spent most of the time in his room again, but he did have a shower and sat with us for main meals, so that was good. We have to go for Family Therapy on Thursday and he's due home for the long weekend (assuming he doesn't win his appeal!). He's managed to lose 1kg whilst in hospital even with them watching over him whilst he's eating, so that's not good. I took some age 12 trousers for him and he tried them on. He said they were the right length but were made for "fat people", as they are too big round the waist. Don't think he really gets how underweight he is. He's in the right place if he's got or is heading towards an eating disorder as they specialise in that. His iron levels are low and his vitamin and mineral levels are borderline. They gave him iron tablets, which he actually took as he's worried about anaemia, but they gave him diarrhoea so they've had to stop them. Thanks for your kind thoughts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted April 30, 2012 Hiya, I have sent you a P.M. I do hope your son doesn't win his appeal tomorrow, he needs to stay where he is as in the long run I am sure it will help him and you as a family. It is nice that he can communicate with you, I do wish my son could. Anyway, good luck for tomorrow and for the family therapy. Let us know how you get on. p.s. my son is also coming home for the weekend, so looking forward to seeing him. Take care :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted April 30, 2012 mandapanda - can truly empathise with your son right now it scares me silly but too scared to make next step! everyone around me keeps telling me heading on road for diaster... but hey ho i don't i feel fine i feel FAT & UGLY a freak highly paranoid feel like people laughing at my body image! i'm so anxious about food in general calorie intake so can appreciate what son going through emotionally right now not good place to be! family keep checking up on me all time drives me mad crazy and work now too see if i've eaten what i've eaten! gr! all on high alert for some strange weird reason! just HATE myself my BODY hate what i see in mirror but feel compelled to check all time on it! feel no need on everyone being worried panicking over nothing to be honest! family friends think i'm OTT on exercise routine of gym,swimming ,jogging,zumba classes! has your son got low self esteem/low body image? was he bullied about his weight? has he got depression? hope all goes well for him and he on road to recover soon!!! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted April 30, 2012 i wish him best of luck .... is that why he sectioned due to suspected ED? ana? hope he get much needed help/support he needs in hospital!!! and hope family therapy sessions work out well for everyone involved! has he had long term weight/eating type issues/difficulties? or is it recent? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted May 1, 2012 Good luck for today will be thinking of you what time is the appeal? :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandapanda Report post Posted May 1, 2012 (edited) Hi SmileyK - you need to take it seriously if everyone around you says you have a problem, even if you don't feel you have. Please get some help. Being low weight can be VERY DANGEROUS. You can get to a point where your organs start packing up. Your friends and family care about you and want you to be safe and well. My son was actually admitted for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but he does seem to have or be on the way to having some sort of eating disorder. Jeanne - It's hard enough with a son who doesn't let me hug him even when he's distraught, it must be so difficult with your son not being able to communicate. Hope the weekend goes well. The tribunal is at 10.30am. Edited May 1, 2012 by Mandapanda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted May 1, 2012 Hi Mandy good luck for this morning. Yes it is very difficult with my son regarding communication, he to doesn't like being touched hugged etc, he did when he was very young but not since he got older. You have to keep your distance, he had to have his own space and doesn't like people getting too close to him, which when it does occur he can then hit out! I hope your son starts eating properly I can see how serious that could be, my son did have a spell of that when he was away, and they started giving him these special drinks, food supplements which did help (like milk shakes). Thankfully Glen started eating normally again. I would have thought that your son would also be given these type of drinks in the hospital as they must have dealt with many other youngsters similar to your son who refuse or eat little. How is your older son doing? I guess it must be very hard on him at the moment with all that is going on with the youngest one? anyway, I will be thinking about you. Take care (( )) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted May 1, 2012 M.P- i am healthy weight i ain't underweight... XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted May 1, 2012 M.P- i am healthy weight i ain't underweight... If you are a healthy weight then you aren't overweight either. And for the record - if you are one of the women in your profile picture - all 4 of you look like slim pretty women to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted May 1, 2012 Hi Manda, Glad there's some positives going on!! When he says that age 12 trousers are for fat people - you should explain that no they aren't - age 12 are for kids - Aw is now well into his teens An adult man for example would be in size 28 to 36 inch waist (from quite slim to mildly 'not' slim lol) I'm assuming age 12 is about a 24 or 26 inch waist. If only he could work out that he wouldn't get fat anyway if he didn't sit in his room all day doing nothing - he could eat whatever he wanted if he went out and burned it off. I know this cuz I do not eat enough and still keep the weight (cuz of the anxiety and agoraphobia) because I don't move around enough it the weight doesn't go. I wonder - regarding the eating with Aw - is he actually suffering from an ED or is it more to do with a struggle of growth spurts and he's not coping with the changes to his body. When I was his age I had a 26" belt that my mate gave me - I felt so fat through my teen years cuz I was growing up. I still have that belt - not a chance in hell that it will ever fit again. I found it recently amongst some stuff and it made me laugh that I thought I was fat all through my teens and twenties. Now I realise I wasn't at all fat back then. The funny thing is I'm fatter now than I've ever been and I'm not really bothered so much any more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandapanda Report post Posted May 1, 2012 Hi all They turned down Aw's appeal. He took it quite well really, just subdued. He texted me after I'd left to ask me to order a book, so he can't be that upset. Now I realise I wasn't at all fat back then. The funny thing is I'm fatter now than I've ever been and I'm not really bothered so much any more. I know that feeling well! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted May 1, 2012 Well at least he had the gumption to know his rights and lodge an appeal. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted May 1, 2012 Glad it all worked out for the best hopefully now you can all move on and your son will improve with all the help he will be getting in hospital. I wish you all well. :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted May 1, 2012 (edited) im at right at back corner ... crying every night over my weight etc i feel & look overweight bad! XKLX Edited May 1, 2012 by smileyK Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A-S warrior Report post Posted May 1, 2012 no disrespect to smiley, but how in the blue hell did we start a topic on someones son and finding out how he,s getting on, and end up talking about weight issues and obvious body dismorphia? its like me when i pick up a friday ad looking for a job and end up buying a chest of draws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted May 1, 2012 SORRY im selfish xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A-S warrior Report post Posted May 1, 2012 i think this could be a good forum for you, http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CCYQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.psychforums.com%2Fbody-dysmorphic-disorder%2F&ei=QF2gT4j9O6Pj4QSmo5ShAw&usg=AFQjCNEQLXbvq4Ypvkn5fz2DhY0lpMFqmA&sig2=MqBxDl7x341kst28-mMYVw i have a seperate forum for my gym talk stuff, asperger pepole just dont have the patience and you cant get the care here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted May 1, 2012 a-s Warrior- i DONT have BDD look at forums can't relate to anyone ... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted May 1, 2012 I know that feeling well! I like your style I just cannot be bothered any more with it or much to do with it (other than I do need exercise to be healthier - and I do have significant issues with food - but not for the same reasons as before). My housemate wants to get fit - he's asked to buy bathroom scales for a few years now and I outright ban them from the house - nobody needs to be stepping on scales all the time - get a health check if your worried (that's my philosophy) I had one a month or 2 ago - I am apparently half a stone over weight - do I care? Nope. My jeans fit. I can move without joint pain. I have "no" muscle from sitting in a house for the best part of a decade but so what... I'll exercise when I solve the agoraphobia issues. I take no interest in media portrayals of the "perfect" body (either male or female) cuz they are airbrushed or they aren't psychologically well (hell I'll go with some mass generalisations this evening ). And why do I have this attitude? From 20 years of watching my female relations torture themselves with DIEts - punish themselves for not being perfect - and the male relations weren't free from it either, worried about fitness, waistlines and clothes... I spent my entire teens hating myself and my body, I spent my entire 20's doing the same - well I'll be screwed if I'm gonna waste another decade on that when nobody pukes when they see me - nobody makes fat jokes (I take this as a sure sign I'm average) and I see plenty of people who are double my size. It was honestly brilliant when one day I looked at myself and for the first time in 20 years actually saw what was there instead of seeing a sumo that wasn't there - to see myself in perspective was great - I hope Aw (and yes smiley too) can have this happen to them so they can see what is real as opposed to what is not - its a problem for men and women alike - and today's media does nothing to help with that - and I suspect AS doesn't help such matters either - I know I rigidly stuck to my beliefs for way too long through a difficulty in accepting change. All the best Manda Darkshine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A-S warrior Report post Posted May 1, 2012 darkshine your better off, lol i have a lower back injury, several tendon injurys aquired over the years, a knee injury, muscle tears and stiffness but! im a lean 14st and can handle over 220kg so i quess its all worth it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted May 1, 2012 I think the hardest thing is balance maybe? Not too much exercise and eating control and not too little of those things either. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandapanda Report post Posted May 28, 2012 Hi all Aw is now on a Section 3, which is up to 6 months. They are still assessing him at the moment. He has become quite hostile about his nurse (probably a natural progression in the process). We have a CPA on 7 June. I've told them he's requesting a different nurse, and I've asked them to make sure they look into it. If they end up saying no, perhaps they might see a little more of the real Aw He did put some weight on last week 0.9kg, so that was good. His arms don't look quite so scrawny. He definitely seems to be eating better at weekends. We now have 2-3 choices for each of breakfast, dinner and tea. He was in a pretty bad mood this weekend, but it's only to be expected sometimes. He even swore at his dad which he's never done before! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darkshine Report post Posted May 28, 2012 Sounds like mixed progress so far - its good he's eating - and its also possible that now he's settled in he's showing more of himself in terms of anger and hostility - but that could be good if they see what you were struggling with - are his objections to the nurse in question valid? Or is she being used as a sort of blaming device (if Aw feels she is the one making him do things etc)? Depending on circumstance could depend on whether parts of his anger are valid - or whether his anger is more a part of this process. 6 months could be a long time... hopefully they will finish their assessments soon and plan what to do next - and then ideally things can pick up again for you all Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted May 28, 2012 I think the more they see of the true picture the better. My son went on a school trip to the zoo today. He had some OCD related problems, but school said he did really well. But when he got home that was a totally different story. Straight into the bath, lots of persistent questions about germs and animal poo. Got through 6 towels and 3 bathmats and covered his bed with towels in the places he suspects he has contaminated with germs from the zoo. It is 11.30pm and he is still up and hyper about it. So i've emailed the school. I am glad that he did cope quite well whilst at the zoo. But unless my son is filmed, no-one knows what goes on at home. So i'm presuming you son is the same. How are his siblings coping with him not being there? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mandapanda Report post Posted June 2, 2012 Hi Aw is NOT on a Section 3. They made a mistake - didn't write the name of the hospital in one place, and didn't notice before 14 days were up, so the Section is invalid. However, he has agreed to stay informally, as they've told him that if he comes home and won't go back they'll just section him again. Hopefully he will go back ok Tuesday! We all think it's the message not the messenger he really has a problem with, although he says even if a different nurse would still be saying the same things he still wants a different nurse. We are all finding it great having a break from him, sad as that may sound. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted June 7, 2012 Hi Mandy not it doesn't sound sad at all it is understandable you've all gone through a very tough time which I can relate to. I am just hoping and praying that your son will co-operate and stay where he is for as long as it takes for the benefit of him and for you all as a family. I hope he went back ok on Tuesday :-) Take care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
