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I'm Andy, mid 30s, city professional with Aspergers and Bi-polar - recently (last two and a bit years) diagnosed with both conditions. Joined up because whilst the wife (yes, bi-polar, Aspergers, full time professional and wife and kids!!! Not sure how I managed that) is great, I still feel a bit alone and misunderstood. The ASD does, and always had, make it very difficult to form any meaningful long term relationships, and it would be nice to be somewhere where I am actually understood, and not judged for how I can come across.

 

I'm still learning about how my ASD affects me, but the biggest thing for me is how it has affected me in the past - how its affected my childhood, and more importantly my teenage and adolescant years. I guess that's the bi-polar bit.

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Welcome Bobzilla. You obviously are doing well for yourself with a City job, wife and kids.

 

Do I understand correctly that you say your wife has Aspergers? Also I am a bit confused when you say about the difficulty you have forming meaningful long-term relationships. With whom?

 

You mention about feeling "a bit alone and misunderstood". If your wife has Aspergers, then surely she would understand. Do you give her the care and attention that she needs or do you feel she does not give you the care and attention that you want?

 

How does the bi-polar affect you/your family?

 

 

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Welcome Bobzilla. You obviously are doing well for yourself with a City job, wife and kids.

 

Do I understand correctly that you say your wife has Aspergers? Also I am a bit confused when you say about the difficulty you have forming meaningful long-term relationships. With whom?

 

Ah, it would appear that I really am that good at communicating!!

 

Wife is neuro-typical (yay, I can remember the technical term!!), but history of bi-polar and OCD in her family. No Aspergers though, although she was the first one to pick it up in me. As to long term relationships, I have huge difficulties forming meaningful long term relationships with anyone, unless they actually get that I have no real/very limited capacity for emotional understanding - I can understand the concept of love, but as for actually feeling it? I know what the technical results are, but that's not really feeling it, that's a bit more computer-like analysis of it.

 

You mention about feeling "a bit alone and misunderstood". If your wife has Aspergers, then surely she would understand. Do you give her the care and attention that she needs or do you feel she does not give you the care and attention that you want?

 

How does the bi-polar affect you/your family?

 

'Alone and misunderstood' tends to apply more socially, and especially professionally. My organisation is very 'client relationship' and 'organisation' based, whereas I am very technically creative and probably obsessed. I specialise in the analysis of words, storing of random information etc, and I'm very good at it, probably fuelled by my Aspergers. But I'm not so good at the understanding people part of it, and I find it a bit of a battle.

 

As for the bi-polar, that's more of an overlay. For about a quarter of the year, I am outside of what would be considered to be the normal mood range, be that elevated mood or depression. For about 4 weeks of that, I am either very high (I can do anything and I don't need any sleep to do it) or very low (nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm just going to eat worms, leading to a complete ambivolence about whether I am still alive at the end of the day). Thankfully suicide isn't something I have genuinely contemplated in a while. Its more difficult for my family than me, although its not really fun having a week of thinking I am a complete failure, usually personally rather than professionally, although it can get that bad. The whole not understanding people doesn't really help during the lows, and can make the whole 'everybody hates me' bit of things even more accute, sometimes leading to complete withdrawal.

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