New to all this

[glc339]

Hi everyone thought I'd give this site a go, I'm 35 years old & have not been diagnosed. I have always known I'm not "normal" but never known why & just thought I was an odd ball.

 

It wasn't until quite recently that I thought about researching ASD online on info sites & forums like this one & was amazed to find pretty much all of my "odd" traits talked about! I don't really know what to do next or if I should bother seeking out a diagnosis etc so I thought it might be a good idea just to have a bit of a chat with similar people for now and hopefully learn a bit more :-)

[rosieshy]

Hi Im 27 and in very much the same position as you -new to this forum...and undiagnosed. ive read luke jacksons "freak, geeks and aspergers" and also rudy Simones "Aspergirls"( comes highly recommended for us females)...Both books described me completely from 2- 27 and i found rudys book prticularly insightful as ASD not asrecognised in females. i was always called "loner" at school because i enjoyed my own compay - still do- and never thought anything of it. it commented on by teachers annually. my mum touht my "quirks" including 'talking in conversation to somone but nobody else was physically in the room' was 'me being me' cos im an only one so she had no one to compare to as i was always around adults, didnt like peers company. Now I've realised i do have psychic sensitivities/tendancies.

 

to be honest i find it fascinating not to mentioning relieving to have a name for something i thought was 'not normal' about me and was made to feel not right because of it. ive always kniwn i was well bit odd there was no mention of asds in the 80s with me. its only through myown research have i realised what i have. my mum only realised herself when i was 22 because she worked in the local hospital as a secretary in childrens ward and there was more n more kids coming through with ASD diahnosis and my mu kept thinking "omg, Rosie used to do that. and she did this". To me, it all makes sense now.

 

the fact i dont want kids and am happily single is something many peers and general people cannot get their heads around they think its "not normal". to me i just thought "why cant hey just accept me as me as ive accept mysel for me i ev like myself so why cant others accept me for me"....i tol 1 boyfriend i wasnt a baby making machine - HE is desperate to be a dad and LOVES kids! he told me he thought it was a "phase"...how can knowing this since i was 12 and not being able change my feelings on it...be A Phase exactly?!- and told him that i knew a few women who were mid 40s-50s and happy being single and more than happy being child free(as i call it) so although its un common its not unusual or abnormal. he(and the ending o that relationship-wasnt even that in my eyes) was what prompted me to go down the ASD route on the net because he made me feel so alien because i dont want kids....not til i read rudy simones book dd i realise most ASD females are 'neither here nor there' about kids.

 

even now, i get on with older people much better than i do my ownage group. i still play he same cd track on repeat for months on end...drives my mum mad but shes used to it now, and strangely find lining coins theraputic:-s. take things so literally its unreal- (people at work have finally understood how specific i ned instructions to be when they want something done)- apparently this is when im at my most funniest cos i dont realise what ive said is funny ...now that i dont understand . the english language is crazy with its phrases and sayings and hidden meanings. oh and you can forget tact...i have none - i try and say something nicely...just comes out as blunt as a knife when it was not the way i intended it. hmm, then theres the fcial expressions but more specifically sarcasm..i cant understand it in someones tone.. their rpy is "durr course im being sarcastic Rosie" when i ask "are you being sarcastic? ".

 

I also hope to be welcomed in to the group and learn more. I also have a fascination of dates, computer,technology and history and im amatuer genealogist. i also have a really good word vocab and read and understood words beyond my age at school..just never diagnosed.

 

Rosie :-)

[darkshine]

Hello to both of you

[indiscreet]

Hi and welcome to the two of you.

[glc339]

Cheers for the replies guys & hi to fellow newbie Rosie, I can relate to some of what you said. I was with someone who was all about popping out the kids my self, but I think unless you are 100% sure you want them (I'm pretty sure I don't) then you should not be coerce into it. After I split up with her I was happily planning to remain single my self, which like you say is just unthinkable for the people around you! But then very luckily I found someone who seems to think the same way as I do in most ways, although she did find my poor communication skills extremely hard to accept for the first few years & took it very personally. She thought I didn't bother communicating with her the way she wanted me to because I just wasn't that interested in her, which badly affected her self esteem & our relationship. I tried to explain that I had always been this way but she never really believed me until recently when I showed her the research I had done into ASD & she could see all my oddities laid out & explained, which has seemed to help things a lot.