Hi im new here,can anyone help with Special Schools

[Sharn]

Hi Im Sharn,

 

My daughter A , is 13 years, has ADHD,ODD,Tics,Dyspraxia,Anxiety Disorder,and recently diagnosed as ASD but more Aspergers if you ask me.School has said they can no longer manage or control A, and that she poses a risk to herself and others. She has been on an extended Exclusion for 7 weeks now. Emergency interum review of statement called.LEA ,SEN Governors and myself have agreed she needs more specialist provision. This is second school breakdown and I have wanted spec Ed from the beginning as I knew she would not cope or be managed properley.We have been under paeds since 2 yrs and Camhs sinse 6yrs. Homelife is also extremely difficult due to the oppositional behaviour ,sleep problems, Anxiety, Hours of screaming,shaking crying,self injurous behaviours. However A is of superiour intelligence also and manipulates and controls, very difficult. This PDA thing also describes my daughter v well but her psych said it not a proven diagnosis and they dont use it in Dorset ! i have visited few schools for ASD,one called Grately House Cambian Group, however I was told when they visited A that if she was as controlling and oppositional as she was when they visited the school would not be able to work with her.

 

Im confused now, Psyc said not a BSED school but a school for ASD , but school saying something different. Is it normal for ASD child to be so ooo oppositional, or is it a miss diagnosis. Dont know what schools to look at none in our area.Looking round the whole country now may have to fight for residential funding .

 

Please has anyone got any good experience of special school that would cover my daughters stuff ! Very intelligent girl but has all these difficulties that prevent her from acsessing the curriculum. I am very frustrated as she been badly bullied two and wont leave the house, is very lonely .

Thanks Guys

[Kazzen161]

You could ask the Head at Grateley House if she could suggest any other schools that might be suitable. They do well with very challenging children, but sometimes Grateley proves to be not enough and they work with the parents and child to get them into a more suitable school.

[Sazale]

I'm in a similar position with my dd 13. Mainstream is not working. She profiles PDA and her demand avoidance is classed as challenging behaviour. She's not physically violent and doesn't swear but if she's not gonna do something it's a challenge to get her to comply. We're at proposed statement stage and no schools are suitable although panel are going to meet to see if they can come up with a way for mainstream or generic special school to work. I've made contact with the nearest specialist provision and they were concerned over her behaviour but after a long chat they concluded that it's a symptom of being in the wrong environment and inadequately supported and have agreed for us to visit. Could that be the case for your dd? x

[Sharn]

Sadly my daughter has been oppositional sinse very tiny,it is definately inate and her dad has mental health problems and paternal grandad,auntie,greatnan etc etc.I have given her so much possitive attention and tryed every behaviour modification ,nothing has had a big impact. She doesnt link actions with consequences and is totally oppositional even to things she likes. It does make a difference how she is managed ie can never be confrontational and always give two choices etc etc.She sees everything as someone elses fault. She self harms and today she has peirced her lip while my mum baby sitting and although not been out for months due to bullying and anxiety has gone out and refusing to come home,says she has been suicidal and dont care wot sanction i put in. Now worried for her saftey again as she not safe on own.

[Tafara]

Hi,

I think that you may be surprised at the extent that an appropriate and correct education placement for your child may help her behaviour. My son who has aspergers diagnosis and also has and has always presented with huge oppositional behaviours has just completed his first half term in a special school. We are already seeing positive changes in his behaviour that we do not recognise in him. I think there are 2 reasons for this 1 that he does not have the huge pressure of being in the wrong enviroment where people did not have a clue how to treat him and 2 that the staff at the school are so on board and are experts in helping the children achieve their full potential. We looked for schools for years and I did find there were far more options for boys than girls. He has ended up in a weekly residental placement and this has given the whole family a chance to breathe and begin to work on the strained relationships that we have had due to our sons behaviour. The massive stress that we used to experience every day has been lifted and we are beggining to feel a little more normal whatever that is !!! Its such a hard journey and people who have no experience of it just cant believe the pressures that are children go through every day. I wish you all the very best in finding a placement for your daughter as it will be worth the fight xx

[Sazale]

My dd's oppositional behaviour has always been there at home but the demand avoidance increased to such intentisities when she just couldn't cope in school any longer. Until this point the behaviour had always been kept for home. Camhs told me that the behaviour just at home was a sign that she was using up all her energy to cope at school. In the right environment she wouldn't be so stressed and have to use all her efforts just to cope so therefore shouldn't be so overloaded and unable to cope at home. I hope they're right!

[trekster]

Welcome to the original poster,

 

Could it be the medications that your kids are on or something in their diets that are causing such extremes of behaviour?

 

http://www.squidoo.com/Out_Of_Control_teen

.....mentions ODD but i cant find anything under ODD and schools.

 

Below are a few school i found.

 

http://www.linwood.bournemouth.sch.uk/page_viewer.asp?page=Home&pid=1

 

http://www.yewstock.dorset.sch.uk/

 

http://dorsetforyou.searchimprove.com/search.aspx?pckid=1443979479&aid=466928&pt=6018936&sw=%22Dorchester+Area+Schools+Partnership%22&x=0&y=0

[Sharn]

Hi Tafara, can you tell me what sch your son goes to.

 

Thanx for possitive comments everyone, and school info, looked those up but my daughter very high IQ and dont fit into mld or sld. Very hard finding right thing for girls. I agree about comment Sazale about holding behaviour together in some places . I used to find that too and felt I was going insane. Have looked through 100 schools on list Grateley sent me and only 1 possible ie for behaviour and asd, mixed in cumbria weekly though feel we need termly or more.Any one no about edan grove priory school ? The LEA haved also named an all girls childrens home 1 hour from us for girls who have been abused, abandoned etc.They are suguesting it as a day placement. I ve written to say why it not an apropriate placement,but now aspergers school backed out they are suguesting it again. I realise now that i dont think she would fit into aspergers school now as their aproach rigid and routine and she fights against that aproach every time.Oh by the way my daughter always been loved and nurtured and never been abused or anything. They are looking at the behaviour not the underlying development disorder. Parent partnership lady told me to arrange informal meeting just me her and top LEA lady as not met this lady only 2 under her, so she dont no our case 2 well. But at what point do i need solicitor. As this woman saying we want to keep our girls in area, which is all very well but there is no where appropriate and she dont have to live with her, we are at breaking point.I keep being asked by Lea if social services involved i keep asking them they say no. But i dont no weather to insist so i might get residential.But PP lady said i should wait incase they offer a pathetic couple of hours a week then lea say were fine out of school hours. Any advice pls??? Thanx

[trekster]

Your MP considering you are going round in circles and getting worse.

[Sazale]

The schools I'm looking at aren't ASD specific but are for communication disorders and one of them, Dawn House, do take pupils with challenging behaviour. I'm looking at those as they are the closest to us but there may be others around the country. We have a NAS school with a PDA unit in our town but they also can't challenge her academically and I don't want her in a unit with other kids that all avoid demands as I feel that will encourage her demand avoidance further. I hope you find somewhere Hun.

 

We have got the final statement and the LEA have decided to name the generic special school despite them saying they can't meet her needs so looking like tribunal x

[Tafara]

The school my son is at is an all boys one. The description of the school is a bsed but they do also specialise in boys with aspergers. They have a real mixture of boys in the school but it does seem to work. The academic range is also wide and they can take a wide selection of GCSEs if they are able.

Again, I really feel for you during this time as I know how much pressure it put on us as a family.

 

Something else to consider and it took me a while to get my head round this too is this. Although our children may be academically able, high IQ etc if they are not able to learn and conform in the classroom to a certain extent they will not be able to physically sit and take exams etc my son quite often simply does not see the point of learning anything new or things that he does not want to learn. So, although I agree they do need to be provided for accademically there is aslo alot of work needed to make them ready to learn emotionally. The work my son is doing at the moment is very simple and I know he is able to do more, however it is a massive achievement that he is now in all lessons and completing somthing.

I would think it would def be worth looking a the weekly option as just getting the respite in the week may give you more strenght to cope at the weekends.

If you dont mind saying what was your daughter like when she went to visit the first school ? xx

[Sharn]

Thanx Guys for helpful advice.

 

We didnt get to my daughter visit the school, they came to us and said they couldnt work with a child with such oppositional and controlling behavior ,but on that day she was chatting to them v keen to be back into school, but argumentitive with me but not bad for her!! Then suddenly they rang and said 2 kids same yr group just got funded,no place for A. I asked if they would have taken her anyway, they said she was v odd and didnt think AS her primary diagnosis,and would have had to do a lot more note reading and talking to proffessionals , but my impression was no. They also made a comment about her sleep disorder which may be a problem and said our children go to bed at 9, but they have waking night staff !!! This comment made my daughter anxious as she doesnt want to not switch off and sleep!! She sleeps better than she ever has now.What is SALT? Prob know it but wanna check.Anyone heard of Springfields Academy? LEA meeting yesturday they are naming it , in wiltshire. LEA have said I gotta insist to social services for core assessment as they now acknoledge A needs residential, but funding issue !!! I will visit sch when reopen sep . As regards to meds Trexster she is on her 7 th med sinse 6 yr old. I agree some meds do have bad effects ie one made her suisidal,and very violent.But she on sertraline now for anxiety and defo helps.We have tryed being off meds and we broke down,it is impossible,she destroys herself and me .As far as food and additives etc i took her off all at 18 months old did make massive difference to hyperactivity and mood but dont seem to effect her now she 13 and v big for her age.But I would urge anyone with ADHD kids to remove additives from diet. MP a possibility,will see how I get on with funding.

Tarfara I agree about getting in a stable frame of mind to be able to learn. You want everything for your child, well education and stable mental health would be a good start !! But the more I look at specialist schools the more I realise that the perfect senario dont exist !! Our children dont even fit in the box of special schools, how did that happen, who makes these silly rules ?! Just to say I know we are having a rough time but on the possitive side A has some outstanding tallents,ie amazing singer, good actor, amazing story writter, very artistic,and a very clever fast mind, So its not all bad, I just dont fit into her world !!!