17yr old has to be potty-trained again

[MelowMeldrew]

Why ? does anyone else have things like this happening ? The lad was in nappies till 6, started using toilet properly after,then aged 8 stopped again and used to hide it (!) in his bedroom this went on 18 months, at age 9 started using toilet properly, now aged 17 has stopped using it appropriately yet again, and is in the bathroom 10-15 times every hour smearing everything. How do you toilet train an near 18yr old ? Absolutely nothing is deterring him.

[Suze]

So sorry Meldrew...is there any increase in stress/anxiety?........was there a trigger in the past when he regressed?....is he out of sync...ie cos school/college etc is on holiday?...is his routine messed up at alll?

[Mandapanda]

I agree with Suze's comments. At 17 there are a lot of changes going on, including other people's expectations of you, maybe moving or planning to move onto further education or work etc. Very stressful anyway, without asd factored in.

 

Suze: your 9 year old sounds just like my 19 year old - don't hold your breath for him to grow out of it!

[MelowMeldrew]

So sorry Meldrew...is there any increase in stress/anxiety?........was there a trigger in the past when he regressed?....is he out of sync...ie cos school/college etc is on holiday?...is his routine messed up at alll?

 

Doesn't seem to be a trigger, he just reverts. From what we can gather he has said he doesn't want 'poo' in his body so is determined to 'get it out'. He has gone partly sleeping at the school, but he started prior to that, we are at a loss really. It has caused anal bleeding recently, as he visits the toilet 10 times every hour.. We see the Doc next week, the advice seems certain to suggest he is sent somewhere.

[Suze]

How verbal is he , and whats his understanding.....do you use makaton or something similar?.Are there specific methods that work for him..ie good behaviour =a reward.Would it be possible to wean him off the toilet visits..could he maybe do one visit every 30 mins for a reward of some kind.Then obviously increase the time if possible.Would he respond to education on the digestive system?......the only other thing is an underlying medical problem, constipation, allergy of some kind.Best of luck.

[Sally44]

Could this be an OCD type of obsession and compulsion as his fears about poo and getting it out of his body could be a fear of contamination or germs etc. My son is very obsessed about this at the moment.

 

If he is having these types of thoughts [and OCD is really like having an abusive partner living in your brain and shouting at you that you MUST do things to counteract the effect of thinking, saying, touching things], it is very hard to resist them as it causes such high anxiety and fear.

 

My son has needed alot of explaining about what poo is [ie. food that your body does not need], that it is not full of germs, that the muscles inside your body move it from your stomach all the way to the other end. That your body has an immune system that fights and kills any germs and that you do not need to try to wash inside you, or try to get poo out of you. It comes out on its own.

 

I think [but i'm not entirely sure], that my son has been doing homemade colonic irrigation using soap and empty shampoo bottles. I am hoping he only talked about it. But he needed alot of persuasion that he did not need to do it and that it would actually make him have diahorrea.

 

Is your son on any medication for anxiety?

 

Is he okay with other stuff like touching things, going outside eg. dog muck on the pavements, or fears of flies etc.

 

My son is living in the bathroom at the moment. Bath as soon as he wakes up. Bath after every visit to the toilet. Bath after every time he "obsesses" that he has leaked poo or wee [when he hasn't]. Frequent bottom wiping and checking [including me having to check his underwear to reassure him] every 10 minutes.

 

He cannot touch any door handles, and moves from room to room on carpet squares, towels etc laid on the floor. He also will not even say some words, or use items with certain words eg. he won't use toilet paper because of the word "toilet".

 

Maybe the starting to sleep in at school raised the anxiety and that is why it started before he actually began sleeping there.

Edited August 24, 2012 by Sally44

[MelowMeldrew]

Could this be an OCD type of obsession and compulsion as his fears about poo and getting it out of his body could be a fear of contamination or germs etc. My son is very obsessed about this at the moment.

 

If he is having these types of thoughts [and OCD is really like having an abusive partner living in your brain and shouting at you that you MUST do things to counteract the effect of thinking, saying, touching things], it is very hard to resist them as it causes such high anxiety and fear.

 

My son has needed alot of explaining about what poo is [ie. food that your body does not need], that it is not full of germs, that the muscles inside your body move it from your stomach all the way to the other end. That your body has an immune system that fights and kills any germs and that you do not need to try to wash inside you, or try to get poo out of you. It comes out on its own.

 

I think [but i'm not entirely sure], that my son has been doing homemade colonic irrigation using soap and empty shampoo bottles. I am hoping he only talked about it. But he needed alot of persuasion that he did not need to do it and that it would actually make him have diahorrea.

 

Is your son on any medication for anxiety?

 

Is he okay with other stuff like touching things, going outside eg. dog muck on the pavements, or fears of flies etc.

 

My son is living in the bathroom at the moment. Bath as soon as he wakes up. Bath after every visit to the toilet. Bath after every time he "obsesses" that he has leaked poo or wee [when he hasn't]. Frequent bottom wiping and checking [including me having to check his underwear to reassure him] every 10 minutes.

 

He cannot touch any door handles, and moves from room to room on carpet squares, towels etc laid on the floor. He also will not even say some words, or use items with certain words eg. he won't use toilet paper because of the word "toilet".

 

Maybe the starting to sleep in at school raised the anxiety and that is why it started before he actually began sleeping there.

 

 

Seems my lad has no aversion to Germs ! he is quite comfortable handling poo. He has 20mg citolopram but I don't think this has much effect personally and 1mg of Rispirdone which is the only way he will sleep all night. He appears to need quite intensive OCD support, but we fear this means he will go away somewhere as my area has nothing at all. he has had poo issues since day one, it just keeps re-emerging at 2 yr intervals or near. MY son lives in the bathroom too ! he is keeping 2 adults on full-time cleaning duty at present, and no approach is making any impression at all. There was an BBC program on OCD's this week,however this worked only because the patient could be reasoned with and had a level of intelligence to understand, my son doesn't have this. If we cannot address it he will only get worse, frankly we are managing cleaning duties not addressing anything.

[Sally44]

If he does go somewhere, would it be a suitable hospital type place?

 

I think you really do need some kind of break, because it is relentless. And, although it is probably no consolation at all, even with a more able child, the OCD obsessions and compulsions are so strong that you often cannot reason with them anyway. My son finds it impossible [at the moment] to grasp the concept that if he resists the compulsion that it will eventually lessen. He just has to do what his brain is telling him to do. Fortunately he is not smearing. But he is getting through 10 packs of 100 wipes in a few days + all his underwear + all the towels in the house on a daily basis. And, as you say, all your time is just taken up managing that.

 

I would get whatever you can to give yourselves a break.

Edited August 25, 2012 by Sally44

[phantom sneeze]

Isn't it not possible to get some large incontinence pads and strap one on him with a adult romper suit thats fastens from the back with a zipper, that way everything is contained. I've seen them on the internet for people with various disabilities who have smearing problems.

[MelowMeldrew]

Isn't it not possible to get some large incontinence pads and strap one on him with a adult romper suit thats fastens from the back with a zipper, that way everything is contained. I've seen them on the internet for people with various disabilities who have smearing problems.

 

The issue is addressing it, not controlling it. Here seems an degree of attention-seeking with it too. (Which is strange given he already commands our attention 24hrs a day).

[trekster]

Doesn't seem to be a trigger, he just reverts. From what we can gather he has said he doesn't want 'poo' in his body so is determined to 'get it out'. He has gone partly sleeping at the school, but he started prior to that, we are at a loss really. It has caused anal bleeding recently, as he visits the toilet 10 times every hour.. We see the Doc next week, the advice seems certain to suggest he is sent somewhere.

 

Sounds like the poo is painful and hes constipated. Does he drink water or eat foods that have a mix of soluble and insoluble fibre?

[Mike_GX101]

Helping to preserve their dignity would be the first point here. I've no idea what GC HQ are making of this URL I've just click on?!?

 

Could this thread perhaps have been 1. placed under health issues, 2. given a title that doesn't shame and 3. considered that not everyone wants to know?!?

 

This is one of those subjects I so wish could be made private for-members-only and if placed under an appropriate heading would only be seen by those who need to see it.

 

I hope you work things out though, for the record.

Thanks

Edited August 31, 2012 by Mike_GX101