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About Mike_GX101

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    Ben Nevis

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    Cycling, walking, movies, music, gaming and reading.

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  1. It challenges what we know of AS because we learn that people on the spectrum have communication difficulties and love aloneness and yet I also know people on the spectrum who never stop talking. True, the endless talking, and not letting anyone else talk instead, may well be a sign of autism. It may be nervousness or it may just be because they fail to notice other people are present. They would talk forever and ever with or without people present.
  2. I still remember going to the careers centre and how they used to sell the idea that you could have any job you want. When someone is out of work for too long the 'help' is always saying "you must get a job" again and again but if they've already been trying everything to get one then it will more likely make them feel a failure because that cliche argument seems to unfairly imply the person is being lazy in not getting a job. But if you have all the qualifications and experience needed to do a job and fly at the interview and then don't get offered the job then clearly they are already going after work and doing all they can do! It all comes down to the market forces of supply and demand. There just isn't the supply to meet the demand! I don't know what you have to do to 'get' a job these days. Perhaps some people wave some cash at the interviewer or something and bribe their way into a company?!? But according to a Dispatches programme last week on Channel 4 many opportunities involve start-up costs to the effect that the employment opportunity becomes a self-employment placement where you work for a company but pay all your own tax and NI contributions, etc. I'm seeing hundreds of such jobs every day but the trouble is there is high risk with those jobs because unless someone tells you exactly how much you're likely to get after deducting all your overheads, it isn't really much help is it. The world is changing and so too are the rules of the employment market, it seems. I'm currently trying to understand them myself!!
  3. Others tell you they notice certain traits and from there you're sucked into an infinite void from which you will never escape. But if you stop struggling and just accept you suddenly realise that it's not that bad and in fact is quite empowering.
  4. I've just finished reading "What Do Women Want" (Adventures in the science of female desire) by Daniel Bergner (ISBN 978 1 78211 256 3). It quite interesting. I picked it up and was straight away compelled to read it. It's a very good book. I'm also reading "What it means to be Human" by Joanna Bourke (ISBN 987-1-84408-645-0). I often have several books on the go at the same time.
  5. I know it isn't a documentary but many people are first introduced to 'autism' through watching a film called Rain Man with Dustin Hoffman. Dustin Hoffman plays a man called Raymond Babbit who possesses amazing mathematical abilities such as counting hundreds of matchsticks in seconds and doing mental arithmetic like 25272x27263 in a blink of an eye! Aside from his amazing abilities he has very rigid routines such as having to watch a particular TV programme at a particular time even if it means gate crashing someone's house. He stops in the middle of the road with oncoming traffic when the traffic crossing system says "Don't walk". This is the way many people perceive autism to involve as if it is the accepted stereotyped portrayal for those who have never met anyone autistic. I'm not decrying the film because I think it's a really good film and is one of my favourites along with A Beautiful Mind but unfortunately the 'extremes' seem to stick in people's minds and many people believe everyone with autism is like Raymond Babbit.
  6. Born on a Blue Day is one of my favourites and it's still there in its place on my bookshelf fully read from cover to cover.
  7. Do I know of any teachers diagnosed with AS? I can't say that I do. But how many teachers with AS have been diagnosed? How did your tribunal go by the way? It seems to be a case of unfair dismissal. You're still the same teacher they employed at the beginning. The only thing that has changed is you have had a diagnosis. Do they follow the same procedures if you're diagnosed with a kidney infection or a swollen knee or a tendency for headaches?? Besides you've been truthful and honest with them by telling them. That should be heralded. I hope you're still teaching. I'm pretty certain a couple of my teachers might have had AS in the dim and distant past but who's to say? Would it have made any difference if I'd have known? These are trying times and everyday you read something else which pulls the strings of your heart. Every other week you hear something which makes you weep deep down and wonder - what is this world coming to...?
  8. Well if you look at the following thread: Adult Aspergers and the law you might get a little worried. I accept the OP for that thread shows genuine concern for their 25 year old step son but I worry about what their view will be should he meets someone and falls in love with them and wants to get married. You imagine a scenario where the wedding ceremony is taking place and is at the point where the vicar asks if anyone has any objections to the marriage at which point several people stand up and point an accusing finger at the non-AS partner at which point they shuffle the AS partner out to 'safety'. I worry about this, I really do. Surely if someone wants to get married because they feel real genuine love for another then they should be allowed to do so. Surely in the above scenario the AS-partner should be well within their rights to reject the objections and go on to marry their partner?? At least you'd hope they'd have the courage to. It could happen to anyone. You go out and meet someone and realise you have something special and a loving relationship develops. You plan to marry. Then out of the blue a diagnosis is made. It is AS. Maybe you're already married. What then? Do they really expect the partners to just say goodbye never to see one another again? Do they really think it is that easy to give up the one you love? So many questions and yet so few answers and a prevailing notion which appears to suggest those with AS do not have the capacity to choose to marry and develop relationships. But such a prevailing notion is damaging in that it potentially underwrites our liberties and freedoms to choose our own directions in life. Whether we have AS or not we should be allowed, if we so wish, to choose what we want.
  9. I think back to when I used to go off walking in the mountains and would stop overnight in bothy's and go camping etc and then imagine being disturbed by helicopter search lights in the black of night because someone got worried after only a few hours. Ok, ok if it's out of character, etc then one has to apply common sense and do what they feel is right in the circumstance. There is no 'one' answer to all situations but I know in my own case when I was in my early 20's I regularly went for trips on my own and I sense it is commonplace for others too because afterall we are all individuals and we all have our own plans and goals in life. We all live our own lives and we're all entitled to our own space.
  10. I try to be upbeat too these days but the combination of a great many things including the cold bleakness of this weather is getting me down too. It was cloudy most of the day and then the sun came out in the late evening and it felt calm and soothing and yet deep inside it is the polar opposite to what I'm really feeling. What with work struggles and bits and pieces not going so well and rent on the increase soon it's getting to me too. But you have to keep on in there - hold on, lift your head up and smile. No one can stop you smiling. Where is everyone any way? It's gone really quiet on this forum with few people responding all of a sudden.
  11. I spend hours on my own and this was certainly so when I was in my early-mid 20's too. I used to go for long walks and bike rides without telling a soul. I also used to spend hours in my bedroom playing video games. Where I was, etc I didn't really think was anyone's business. The trouble now is we all carry mobiles with us and we're all expected to be 'online' 24/7 and yet in reality we all have the right to turn our mobiles off (good thing really) and we all have the right to travel, etc. Sure it is reasonable for a parent to be worried. But at 25 he's well within his rights to do what he wants to do. Give him some space and maybe open some communication channels with him to check things are OK etc. Everyone will remember what it was like at that age - come on think about it! What were you doing at 25? Who were you with? What did you get up to? Would you have been happy being interrupted??
  12. If it was domestic abuse then yes fair enough - everyone has a right to be protected from it and good thing too. But we're not talking about that - we're talking about two people who want to be together and have formed a loving stable relationship which has worked for years until the day one partner gets a diagnosis of AS. The AS partner is still the same person they always were only there is a label for why they are the way they are. But it's more than that. No one ever considers what the other partner must be going through upon the diagnosis and that they will need just as much support in the diagnosis process as the partner being diagnosed. They will need to be supported as a couple. Go anywhere and ask for help and there is an uncomfortable shuffling of feet just out of view - what is the problem?!? So two people have found one another and they absolutely love one another and want to maybe raise a family. Oh and by the way one happens to have AS but look what they've achieved so far - they've overcome the barriers of their disability and they've actually done what apparently cannot be done. That in itself aught to be recognised and heralded as a success. There you have it - someone with AS who has overcome what the professionals said could never be done - SUCCESS!!! So why are such successes not paraded and recognised? Why do we never hear about the worries and anxieties the partner without AS might have in the face of diagnosis? Why is more not done to demonstrate there is a way and that barriers can be overcome? There are people out there on the spectrum who have done some truly remarkable things - why do we rarely hear about them? Why are AS-affected couples not given more recognition and support? Why do we have to choose between marriage and diagnosis?
  13. @ Dekaspace Sounds like hours of free fare at your expense and worse it could look as if you're an accomplice. Get yourself out of that situation - get yourself an advocate if you have to. You know what is going on. Act.
  14. I totally agree with you Positive_about. What is not so clear is what consequences the NT partner would face if the said marriage was (following the AS diagnosis) then deemed inappropriate in my example above. Would the NT partner be threatened with jail if they continued to remain in the relationship? Would they be allowed to remain married or would they be forced to divorce? You're right Lyndalou - there have been some worrying developments which appear to be moving towards a situation where those on the spectrum are discouraged from choosing to enter into relationships on the grounds of them being 'unadvisable'. I'm raising this issue out of increasing confusion in this area. Information is key in any situation and this is one area where information is not very forthcoming and it is very vexing.
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