My son stood up for his sister today

[Sally44]

Today my daughter was late back from school. I phoned her on her mobile and found out she had gone 'for a walk' with some friends. I told her to get back home asap because she had not said anything about going for a walk, and I am very strict in that my daughter knows she is not allowed to go anywhere or do anything without telling us first.

 

Anyway, my son overhead me talking to her on the phone and said:

 

"Mum, can you forgive her? I know she can be lazy and bunk off, but can you cut her some slack? Do you understand what I am saying. I'm trying to pull some strings."

 

My son uses alot of americanisms in his speech. But the message was clear.

 

I was very touched that he wanted to intervene on her behalf.

[Mannify]

Aw, that's lovely. My kids' sibling relationships are a constant source of fascination. One thing that I love is that they are not territorial about love and praise. My eldest, for example, who's very bright, often highlights things at which his brother is better than him. He revels in his achievements. I do think that my eldest's loyal attachment to his brother has helped bring my middles son's development on.

[Sally44]

I know. It is so lovely when he shows that he can have empathy and he can understand another persons perspective. It makes me realise that his future could actually be quite good.

[rufusrufus]

Aww, that's lovely

[trekster]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaGpaj2nHIo

...is an excellent example of how 'empathy' is a 2 way process. It is the 'fork handles sketch' from the 2 Ronnies tv program.

 

i read an article in Marchs Poss'ibility magazine about autism. It mentioned 'if we have been in that situation before then we can show empathy'. i have been known when on form to say 'i can see why it is upsetting you' or in some cases use an example of when it applied to me or a friend of mine (name and details anonymised). i think the issue with empathy is why autistics are often misrepresented as under or over exaggerating, ie we have no idea how it seems to the other person. i just wish folk would ask me why i do something instead of jumping to the worst conclusion possible.

[Sally44]

one of my all time favourite sketches.

 

Yes, communication isn't as easy as it sounds.

 

But I think for many NT's, they tend to group words and experiences together in a much more structured way, so that it is much quicker for them to cotton on to what is being said or experienced. This effecient way of storing information starts from a baby and I think it is called "Schemas".

 

For those on the spectrum their learning and experiences are not filed away so effectively or logically and so it can take much longer to get the grasp of what is being said or experienced.

 

I think that is why my son uses alot of American phrases he has seen and understood from TV. He gets the language and the context in which it was used, and can then apply it to his speech. It can sound a bit 'odd', but it makes sense.

 

He also stores alot of information randomly, and may recall it if something prompts him and at those times it may not be apparent what the relevancy is.

[trekster]

Sally44 you have hit the nail on the head there, sequencing is a major difficulty for many autistics and i think memory is part of the problem.

So learning how to make a cup of tea can be so difficult we appeal inflexible and rigid in our thinking.

 

i think recalling things randomly is also a trait of mine sometimes upsetting but other times useful. University challenge i tend to get the

music questions better because i remember them easier.