frances-mary Report post Posted July 18, 2005 Wonder if anyone has any advice to give me. My 16 yearold son (ADHD) spits at me and throws anything he has at hand (food, small objects) when ever he dosn't get exactly what he wants. He also screams verbal tirades of very unpleasant language irispective of who is around. He very rarely actualy hits me as I have in the past had to call the police to protect myself. If I retaliate in any way the situation can escalate out of hand so I just have to egnor the behaviour and keeping my voice very level tell him that what he is doing is not acceptable. - (inside I am screaming but outwardly I'm the model of control!) My younger son 14 had aspergers and uses his brother as his only role model so I am now getting this behavior from both of them. Am I doing it right ?, has anyone any other suggestions. The part of me inside which is screaming and crying that I can't take any more keeps threatening to take over!!! Mary Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
witsend Report post Posted July 18, 2005 Hi frances-mary sorry I don't really feel wise enough to give you advice as such did want to send you <'> I suppose all teenagers vent their spleen in similar ways at times but kids with ADHD I guess don't have enough control to know when to stop. It must be awful when they are physically so much bigger and older, it's bad enough when they're little but at least you feel you have some control (even if it's akin to restraint). Just hope someone does come along with some constrcutive advice for you. Take care - Witsend. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted July 18, 2005 (edited) Just a suggestion, my friends ADHD son had similar problems and has just been assessed (she plagued them to do so) and he has been diagnosed with touerettes. I have no teens myself but recently helped someone with a Family Meeting we called it. We met with the entire family and sat and made agreements for what behaviour was acceptable from both the parents and the teenagers (one ADHD one NT but a vile temper) So far so good, they follow the agreements which includes parents not to shout, a swear box (the kids pay from own pocket money makes them realise) we have set a punishment of no PS2 for ADHD boy and no magazine for younger NT boy (into cars and parents buy him a monthly magazine) incase things get out of hand but warnings are given first and have not had to resort to this yet, there is also bonuses given for very good behaviour. So far its working well, may not work for all but made the boys I think look at their behaviour and what strain was putting on the family,everyone was open and honest, the boys even ended up in tears when they seen how upset their Mam was, they were spoken to as adults with an equal part. Other than that all I can offer is a <'> Edited July 18, 2005 by lil_me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
