Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 18, 2013 Jack's teacher and paediatrician say hes is delayed in general. Acting more 3 than 4 and a half, so 18 months behind his peers. Do most kids with ASD who are delayed at an early age catch up or do they often stay delayed/get worse? Thanx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) i would personally say if the 'right support system' is in place for "us" to grow ,nurture ,learn develop at our own rate / speed that is greater chance /possibility for "us" to 'catch up' with our peers aand also i suppose depends on strength of personality if shines through - determined & ambitious! delay doesn't always mean long -term can be worked upon /improved if hard effort/ work and input is put in at early stage! lot of development stages are mirror through peers and family so that how picked up learn't along the way! XKLX Edited January 18, 2013 by smileyK Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justine1 Report post Posted January 18, 2013 There is no simple answer in my experience. Both my boys have a "spikey profile" they are above average in some areas and 2-3years behind in other areas. As they grow I have found they have improved in those areas where they are behind however it has been a very slow process. I appreciate any type of progress,after all three years ago Dan could not form a sentence and knew very few words(even those were not pronounced properly) now he can talk quite fluently albeit unclear to strangers. ASD is a development delay so of course as a child develops things will improve but there are some areas where they may never be at the same level as their peers however ot doesnt mean one should not strive for this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 18, 2013 (edited) I've read that it is thought that children with ASD are in general around 2 years behind their peers as they grow up (higher functioning). Whether this is true or not I don't know but I would say that for certain, my 2 year old is almost on a par with my 5 year old in certain areas. She definitely understands a great deal of what I say, she has some grasp of emotional states and she is doing things like taking down zips and trying to pull them up and being very clear about what she wants with just a hint of manipulation creeping in there! I ask her to fetch things for me and she does it straight away and when I ask her to help me tidy up toys she obviously enjoys making me happy! Developmentally, she is way ahead of her brother. He has to be asked repeatedly to help tidy and to do basic things like take down his trousers he needs a lot of prompting. His basic understanding of emotion is definitely 'learned' as we have gone over sad, happy, angry, grumpy etc a lot and he does this at school. I remember back to my own childhood and I was often quite frightened by children my own age; they always seemed more 'grown up' than me. I preferred to play with their younger brothers and sisters. Seemingly, this is quite common too, for children with ASD to play with younger children or be drawn to those well ahead of them in age. This definitely correlates with my own experience in my later teens when two of my good friends were around 15 years older than me and even now I can feel more comfortable in the company of people much older than me. I My own son does it. I can see it on his face quite often how apprehensive he can be around children his own age so he feels more comfortable with children around 2 years younger. I wouldn't be too worried about chronological age v developmental age. The main issue is to help him learn and grow and make sense of the world at his own pace while he is young. Help him cope with all the difficulties he has and the problems he experiences processing instruction. The more you can understand about his problems, the more you can help him develop the skills he needs to relate to his peers. As Justine says, there is also a 'spikey profile' element. My sons reading age and ability to understand music is ahead of his peers although he is not fully toilet trained and he can't dress himself. Edited January 18, 2013 by Lyndalou Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 18, 2013 Thanx, do you think he needs to be in a different school. More suited to his needs? Hes in a welsh speaking school at the moment and neither me or his dad speak welsh... so im worried about that. But also wonder if he needs to be with kids more similar to him in ability?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted January 19, 2013 @ noskca i would do whatever you personally feel is in your son's best interests and what you feel your son needs educationally as his mother what he would thrive be successful and positively benefit from such environment then have nothing to really lose as such! worth a try go for it! you know your son best as such! good luck with whatever you do decide to do for your son! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 19, 2013 @ noskca i would do whatever you personally feel is in your son's best interests and what you feel your son needs educationally as his mother what he would thrive be successful and positively benefit from such environment then have nothing to really lose as such! worth a try go for it! you know your son best as such! good luck with whatever you do decide to do for your son! XKLX I would echo what Smiley says but I would add to this that if you have concerns about the language barrier at school then it might be worthwhile looking into alternative options. My son has a speech disorder. He needs a degree of consistency in how he is spoken to using short sentences and often needs those sentences repeated a few times before he 'gets' it. I work on pronunciation with him, read books and as he interchanges 'she' for 'it' and will say his name for 'me' and 'my' and often says words out of order, he is spoken back to every time the way it makes sense and using the correct pronouns. It has got to the point it's second nature now. At school, he receives regular speech therapy in English. However, this is the spoken language in our area; in other areas in Scotland, Gaelic is spoken in schools so what you are describing would be an issue. I personally would feel that my son would be confused by a second language. I don't tend to say too much to my son in Scots although I was brought up using these words and can use them in other company that uses them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 19, 2013 Lynda, He is still getting words mixed up even after a year in the english language unit. He says My instead on I. He gets under, in (etc) confused too. His older brother who is 9 is in the same school,and i wanted all 4 boys to got there eventually but now starting to think Jack may need to be somewhere different. Hes settled in ok and is enjoying school there, he has a few friends. But the welsh alphabet is quite different from the english. And he hadnt yet learnt the english one, so hes bacically got to learn 2 at the same time and im not sure if he will be able to... His peers are all now learning to read and are brining reading books home, jack isnt ready yet. Hes recognising his own name and starthing to recognise letters but nowhere near ready to read. Going to wait untill end of 1st year and then review the situation i think... so hard to know whats best!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Merry Report post Posted January 19, 2013 Hi Noskca, I was just thinking...a lot of us here were diagnosed later in life.....My schools and family knew I was behind as a child, and socially awkward....but nothing was really done about it back then. I think they may have thought that because i was so talented in particular areas, i was just being lazy in areas i didn't like. But my point is, that even without extra help in school, I did okay. Didn't learn to tell the time until i was 12. And still don't understand numbers, but humans are extremely resourceful and we get by in whatever ways we can. Sometimes, subjects just take a while to `click` - it's just that I have to learn things in my own way and in my own time. You're obviously most concerned with his happiness. I'd agree that this is the most important thing for anyone. Developmentally, just as Justine1 said, there may well be areas that he never gets quite right, and there might be other areas he's gifted in but by the time we're adults, it's hard to see a difference a lot of the time between those with high functioning aspergers and anyone else....and where one skill is lacking, another skill might compensate. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justine1 Report post Posted January 19, 2013 I gave up along time ago comparing my children to others....even my NT boys. My eldest (NT)is way above average so I dont even look at where he is meant to be and now he is at secondary the attainment levels are 1-5 with 5 being the highest,in real terms the school would like to score him higher than 5 but there are no furthur boxes to tick so he is at level5 for everything. In the same way my two with ASD cannot be compared with NT peers. Sam is 9 and still does not read as much as they would like him to and when he does he sticks to the same books....repetition. My 4 year old(NT) is also slightly behind his peers like your son he doesnt get books to bring home,but he is happy to try read Mr Men books as I have been reading them to him at bedtime for a year. Age also has to play a role in learning outcomes....my eldest turned 5 just two months into reception but Sam turned 5 the summer after reception(11mths later!) and Eli (4) will be the same. It is therefore hard to compare children in reception. Another point for me was just to get Sam to be able to attend school for a day not so much how well he was doing.Now he is at the right school he has come along way however he is still behind....it does'nt bother me that much as he has plenty of time to achieve all he wants. I am almost thirty and only started furthur education two years ago so if I can do it(with five kids) so can he. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 19, 2013 Its just a shame i didnt know that legally childeren dont have to start until they are 5, If i had known this i would have kept him out and in nursery an extra year so he was one of the oldest instead of youngest in his year. It would have given him time to catch up a bit. But obviously the worry is the new language and weather he can cope or not... so i will review at the end of the year and go from there. Be a shame to have him in a different school to his big brother, but not the end of the world! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted January 19, 2013 All you can do as his loving mother you are take it step by step and not anything other than that! Looking back saying I wish I'd... I could have... Ain't going to help /benefit you or your son going over "old ground" as stirs up bad negative feelings / emotions over your motherhood and from what I've seen on here what the best of your son -caring , seeing what can do next action plan wise for his future that's not "bad thing" start to believe what you is doing is good and positive! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 19, 2013 Its just a shame i didnt know that legally childeren dont have to start until they are 5, If i had known this i would have kept him out and in nursery an extra year so he was one of the oldest instead of youngest in his year. It would have given him time to catch up a bit. But obviously the worry is the new language and weather he can cope or not... so i will review at the end of the year and go from there. Be a shame to have him in a different school to his big brother, but not the end of the world! Bear in mind that you may be able to request that he can repeat the year. You certainly can do this here and you may be able to do this in Wales. This could probably apply at the same school or at another school if you feel that this would be helpful for him. I've been told that this would be an option for my son if he moved from his Special Needs school into mainstream next year (although this is unlikely). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 19, 2013 Thanx Lynda and SmileyK. Lynda what kind of special needs school is your son at if you dont mind me asking? I dont think there are any in my area that would suit my son. I know there is a language unit but its not like the one my son was in before we moved, its only for very severe speech delays which his is mild! And that school is 35-40 mins drive away. Wondering if mainstream is right for him at the moment. I had thought about him staying back a year, but im not sure about it.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 20, 2013 Thanx Lynda and SmileyK. Lynda what kind of special needs school is your son at if you dont mind me asking? I dont think there are any in my area that would suit my son. I know there is a language unit but its not like the one my son was in before we moved, its only for very severe speech delays which his is mild! And that school is 35-40 mins drive away. Wondering if mainstream is right for him at the moment. I had thought about him staying back a year, but im not sure about it.... We are very lucky to have this school locally for children who have a range of special needs. The school caters for children from nursery age to 18 yrs and the catchment area is quite wide and the LA provides transport by minibus to the school, even those who live in the town like my son. The school is not ASD specific but there are a lot of children with autism, particularly in the younger age group. My son, as a result is in an autism specific class. He is one of six boys who have a teacher and 3 teaching assistants. In addition to this weekly he has one-to-one sessions with a speech therapist, 2 swimming lessons, gym class and access to a snoezelen room. He goes walks into town and also into the country on bus trips. In the lead up to attending nursery, we had input from the Educational Therapist, Pysychologist and Paediatrician. The EP continued to provide input prior to my son being accepted into P1 (reception) at the Special Needs school. Everyone was in agreement - nursery teacher, EP and Speech Therapist (among others) that this was the best placement for him especially with regards to his level of understanding, his speech disorder and his sensory difficulties in particular. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Noskcaj86 Report post Posted January 20, 2013 Wow sounds like a great school! Big shame there is nothing like that in my area! His previous school was similar though, perhaps i shouldnt have moved area. But i had no idea at the time about the difficulties he would have now... I knew obviously he was delayed and probably has asd but it is becoming more and more obvious that these difficulties are here to stay and are not just going to fade away any time soon... Like ive said before, i think i was in denial about things. Im sure things with school will sort themselfs out eventually. Just hope i make the right decisions for him. Thanx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted January 21, 2013 It sounds like you are doing all you can for your little man and thinking about what is in his best interests now and in the future. Keep trying to get all the answers you can and support you can Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
