don't get why! gr! annoys hell out of me ;(

[smileyK]

Why when getting into verbal row ? -why common statement /expression 'just grow up' when get upset angry and results in me crying that statements annoys me even more so! People don't get why it has that effect on me for!

[Lyndalou]

Smiley, I think that most people would react if they were told to 'just grow up'. It's a very strong statement and I think is often said when people want to end a conversation because it is making them upset or angry themselves. The problem is that it is one of those statements that can just enflame things further and someone has to back down if it's not to turn into a huge argument.

 

Maybe the best thing would be to excuse yourself (from the room or the house) to give yourself breathing space if you see the 'signs' that the conversation is going this way. It's not good that anyone is saying this to you but if they don't see it, you have to find a way to not get as upset as you are getting because of this.

[smileyK]

Struggle find difficult to 'just walk away' up and leave as steps up for "such a level" its becomes out of control quickly! Similiar statements are "tossed/dished out" brings me to tears I then reach point of becoming verbally aggressive but have seen this behaviour in my childhood and behaviour is copied and learn't feel bad /guilty for reacting in such "horrid" awful way! Trying to "step out" before the situation turns "ugly nasty" ends up in screaming contest which is so draining emotionally weakens me completely! Lot is past childhood issues which come back to haunt and attack me!

 

I don't see the "signs" before too late which consequences are bad last one caused emergency crisis situation!

Edited February 5, 2013 by trekster

[matzoball]

I don't think this is true. Your body is telling you that you are getting upset by bringing you to tears, then you get angry.

 

There are many points that you can stop yourself getting as far as you do when you get upset. You need to learn how to identify them, and then learn how to react differently when it happens. Ask the mental health person you are seeing about an anger diary.

[smileyK]

About two years ago did reach a period of calm peacefulness in my anger outbursts (verbal/physical) really 'tripping' myself over why it has re-occurred! Hoping seeing well-being worker will 'help' recognise my triggers in all areas! I know I need to improve issues!

 

That's why I am doing my homework strictly of both mood diaries also with this upcoming MIND appointment! XKLX

Edited February 5, 2013 by trekster