smileyK Report post Posted February 12, 2013 Feeling REALLY disappointed at staying @ my auntie's what let down it has been since friday afternoon been to nando's after train station and been food shop @ sainburys and cinema today and macdonald's haven't done ANYTHING! Been TOTALLY BORED! Even done whole three storey town house -hoovering and dusting ,polishing top to bottom! My auntie's been REALLY in bad way emotionally/mentally don't think she should have agreed for me to come down for few days she wants her own company tried to "open" her up lot more but she closes and shuts down!! Been so difficult to keep 'upbeat' has helped me broke down in tears felt awful hope it would 'help' me a few days away from home but done the opposite! I thought it would 'help' us both she isn't receptive to 'help' right now she withdrawn , not eating right/properly or sleeping well and isolating herself have wanted to go home from friday afternoon! Don't know if I should attempt try this situation again sometime! Put myself through 'this' been sobbing down phone to parents made me feel 'more homesick' just ruined whole excitedness of everything! Feel so bad guilty! I feel weak in myself and glad tomorrow is finally "home time" when counting down days to come here scared /worried my auntie on road to harsh fall of either breakdown she pushing everyone away (friends and family) gave up her P/T job @ M 'n' S now sits at home all day dwelling over money issues her failed marriage situation she continues to fall apart - weaken I've been texting best friend she thinks my auntie was selfish considering my current mental health state (emergency crisis situation) I know she probably doesn't even "realise" due to her "depressive state" so trying to be empathic but struggling just keep bursting into tears glad I didn't stay a whole week and just a few days! I needed this few days away but hasn't worked failed deffo miserably! ;( XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted February 12, 2013 Smiley You must feel so disappointed that you were looking forward to this time away and it's turned out to be so different to what you thought it was going to be like. I think you are right that it is time to get home to be with your parents. I'm sorry that your aunt is feeling so low and it must be very hard for her right now but you need to concentrate on looking after yourself. You can feel good about yourself that you have been able to give your aunt some practical support as she's obviously struggling taking care of herself. Take care getting home. Lynda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 12, 2013 Lynda -lou feel like put in awakard uncomfortable situation (cringe) as felt like she more interested and enjoyed watching TV than having me here! Just feel like could done that same thing at home (watch TV!) In bed early don't know what to do or say! All her close best friends even her one next door who used pop in every day don't anymore! Sounds cruel felt like time wasted! So haven't had energy to focus on being selfish re-charging my "batteries" my auntie so "wrapped up" in her own issues and situation that having me here too much -overwhelming for her didn't think she really thought it through enough! Would be nice girlie shopping spree looking round shops not even buying I know depression taking over literally "everything" she ain't got energy to do anything tired all time she said seen her doctor which signed her off work for two weeks think telling people she was retired was 'cover story' hide it as she embarrassed she confided in me an awful lot now going to be constantly worrying/stressing over her all time! never been so glad be going home feel bad guilty even saying that! But been counting down days to go home! ;( Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 12, 2013 *have been so bored out of my head just for something to pass the time I cleaned (hoovered 'n' dusted,polished) three storey town house top to bottom! Felt so restless be back get back to 'normal routine' at home totally thrown me "off track" really could do without this happening right now! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted February 12, 2013 Smiley It doesn't sound like the best way to help you become more positive yourself, being in the company of someone who is struggling very badly with her own depression. Are your parents aware of how bad things are with your aunt and that her friends are no longer helping her out? She really needs help and support by the sounds of it but you're not the person to provide that to her right now. Maybe she thought that inviting you over would make her feel happier too but obviously it's not as simple as that, is it? Get home and get back to your normal routine. Sometimes they say that a change is as good as a rest so you could maybe try to think of it in those terms? Lynda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 13, 2013 I sound so ungrateful really which is bad just not turned out way I'd hoped for the best! yes my parents know near enough 'everything' extent of depressive situatuon my auntie in explained and described! Mum offered my auntie stay overnight tonight after dropping me back home but my auntie won't have any of it! She rejecting everyone around her by "making up excuses" as easier for her to explain away! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted February 13, 2013 Sorry that things havent worked out for you. You need to concentrate on you smiley, try and be positive and roll on when you are home again :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 13, 2013 Never been so damn pleased and glad I'm going home just been staring at four walls feeling trapped isolated made me feel so much worse -horrid,awful situation /experience felt so out of reach and my total control tried to "help" my auntie by giving advice but she don't want to listen by her defensive attitude stinks think she same with her close friends so hard to watch and do nothing but she ain't letting you in so what do you do really?! Feel so helpless, ate two proper home cooked meals in five days I've been here rest been little hit and miss crips and toast! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 13, 2013 I'm home sweet home can beat home comforts! My auntie said after talking to my parents for advice over her situation that going to seek legal advice to make action plan put her house up for sale!makes me grateful for my home,parents and realise the 'knock on effect' of depression even If for few days it starts effecting others! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted February 13, 2013 Glad you are happy to be back home smiley :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sa Skimrande Report post Posted February 14, 2013 From experience everybody has their own problems which are their main and primary concern and when the low times hit they are the only concern. Times are hard for most, everybody is suffering with many seeing their hopes and dreams melt away where they are thinking what is the point, so with the problems that we have where he hope to get mental and emotional sustenance from others we have to ask ourselves are we being selfish ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 14, 2013 I don't think comes down to "being selfish" found it so hard to know what to say or do for the best now empathise with what living with half depressive person what living nightmare/hell it can really entail! Scared me to say the least didn't where to begin to unravel the depressive state my auntie explained how bad things are /situations are for her how they been ... It broke me down ripped me to shreds now got to get back myself as really feel 'unbalanced' 'unstable' from the whole situation left me shaken to the core feel like I now have to check up on her be responsible for 'looking after her' bit of role reserval! -her being neice and I'm the auntie! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matzoball Report post Posted February 14, 2013 Perhaps this has just put things into perspective for you. Try and build on that and move on x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 14, 2013 Takes me ages to move on...but will try! XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted February 14, 2013 I'm sure you will be be able to move on think of that weekend away with your friend :-) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 19, 2013 @ jeanne - The weekend away not happening now so plan B of summer days out instead! Now text my auntie to make sure she eating 'properly' of breakfast ,lunch and dinner she worries same over me too! Lol the irony! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted February 19, 2013 Having days out in the summer is nice, I'm sure you will have a lovely time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites