smileyK Report post Posted February 17, 2013 After being @ my auntie's seem 'gripped' in my own "deep black pit" of depression that dragging me down just want to shut down ,blank out the world don't know its where I set myself on that track automatically yet subconsciously but for me can lead to "dangerous impulsive self ruin path" for a while! I scare myself as know what coming but no brakes to stop crisis mini or major from occuring! ;( I feel like I've taken on my auntie's worries,struggles on my "shoulders" it literally crushing,destroying me where do I go from here? Feel like withdrawing from the world? Scared afraid to admit when feel like "I'm riding a storm of present crisis" XKLX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Willow-Tree Report post Posted February 17, 2013 *hugs* You need to try and distance yourself from thinking about your Aunt's problems - you can't solve them and it's not your place to anyway. Spend some time doing things you enjoy - no matter how small, just to try and stop thinking so much about how sad you feel. Grab some ice cream and watch a girly film Have you/are you seeing any professionals at the moment...therapist/psychiatrist etc? Do you still do your mood diary? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matzoball Report post Posted February 17, 2013 You need to talk to your parents and your cmt team. You've been doing really well lately and while its understandable that you have been affected by your aunt - you need to keep positive and focus on the positive things. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lyndalou Report post Posted February 17, 2013 Hi Smiley As Willow says, you need to distance yourself from your Aunt's problems if you can. Clearly, you empathise with her but she is not your responsibility to make things 'better'. In my late teens, my parent's marriage was on the verge of disintegrating due to all sorts of reasons that were totally outwith my control. However, I took it on myself to try to keep them talking and felt the pressure of ensuring they worked things out. With or without my 'help' they did work things out but I don't know how I would have reacted if they hadn't - I think it's likely that I would have blamed myself that I had not worked hard enough! Your Aunt is in the situation she is in for reasons that are nothing to do with you. She is unwell and she is not accepting help. It is not your responsibily or your 'fault' in any way that she is like this. Blame the illness and understand the reasons. Your parents are in a better position to help her as are her friends. Even the distance is an issue. Concentrate on YOU and your issues right now. Lynda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 17, 2013 No-one seeing my mood diary so think 'what the point attitude' to be honest and truthful my mum even commented on my mood today as being "on the edge" just feel so restless my mum got it spot on she right I am "on the edge" I'm seeing listening worker on wednesday at MIND centre and got art and craft session tomorrow afternoon (1.30pm-4pm) the fee for attending is one fifty! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted February 17, 2013 I'm pleased you have your art and craft session tomorrow, do go I'm sure you will have a nice time, it will take your mind off your visit to your auntie's. Also it's good that you have your session at the MIND centre on Wednesday. Concentrate on these things this week and try and put your auntie's visit behind you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 17, 2013 I can't seem to 'forget' don't know if going to be "well" enough to attend art and craft session! And same with wednesday session! I can't put "anything" behind me so struggling! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matzoball Report post Posted February 17, 2013 Smiley you are well enough to recognise you are having problems. So talk to your mum about how you are feeling instead of letting yourself spiral. You're a capable young woman who can take charge of your life and make it into whatever you want. So figure out what you want from life, talk to the right people about it(doctors and your parents) and don't let your aunt get you down. You have the power to change your life, don't let this stop you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smileyK Report post Posted February 17, 2013 Got docs appointment tried this week couldn't get it but next week with doc I don't know can't get in see any doc I know! All booked up full for ages in advance! I'm wreckless mode too so don't care what happens "down hill spiral" or not! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JeanneA Report post Posted February 17, 2013 Try to get an 'emergency appointment' with your doctor, where I live you get 'emergency appointments' daily, you just have to go and wait until a doctor can see you, so I don't if its like that where you live? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites