New to Asperger's

[nigeo]

Hi everyone, I'm a 48 year old male who's just found out I have Asperger's. Lots of things are starting to make sense now. However, any help or advice you could give me about coming to terms with it, getting my life back on track etc. would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

[positive_about]

Hi there, welcome to the forum

 

I've not yet been diagnosed, still waiting for an assessment, though I've known for some time I might have Aspergers so kind of come to terms with it. My advice is to focus on the positives in yourself and your life, but also work on any negative traits or weaknesses.

[trekster]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

 

Pleased things are starting to make more sense. What are your hobbies and interests?

 

I've found joining forums like these and asking questions about Aspergers to be helpful. I've read many books about autism, aspergers

joined social groups for autistic/Asperger folk and changed my diet/lifestyle to try and suit my autistic needs. I also have the added complication

of only a few family members who understand.

 

Is there an autistic unit or aspergers service run by the NHS in your county? If you put your postcode into NAS website search box then services in your area come up. I've written 'adult' in 1 box and (my postcode) in the other.

[nigeo]

Hello Mt McKinley, thank you for the response, hobbies are work and aviation. I've done a search as you suggest, can't find any services in my area. I'm sorry only a few of your family understand, having a similar discussion with my Mum. You mentioned diet, I have heard this before, is it just a healthy diet, i.e. fruit, vegetables etc. or is there something special advised? Thank you again for your response, keep in touch, Nige

[nigeo]

Hi Tim, thank you for your response, great advice, can I ask a personal question please? When you say 'though I've known for some time I might have Asperger's' can I ask how? What made you come to that conclusion? Just trying to align my own thoughts. Of course if you would prefer not to say I will completely understand. Keep in touch Tim, Nige

 

'

[positive_about]

A few years ago I read an article about a guy who had struggled with similar problems to myself, and had a similar life story - he ended up being diagnosed with Aspergers, so it got me thinking. I was diagnosed with social anxiety some years before that, but it didn't explain all my difficulties so I read up about Asperger's and it seemed to fit - I scored highly on the AQ test, and could identify some of the Asperger traits in myself. My social worker also suspected I had Aspergers, and a psychiatrist said it was possible I did, but they didn't take it anywhere - I was hoping they might have referred me for a diagnosis.

 

I became aware of my traits/limitations when the job I had picked up my communication difficulties - it got embarrassing, and some people questioned what I was doing there. I had to endure a interpersonal skills as my boss suggested I needed help - it didn't work. I had to give that job in the end, it was too much. My ex wife, at that time, had also pointed out all my traits/difficulties. I tried hard to be 'normal' but it became impossible to meet what other people expected of me.

 

So, although I haven't been diagnosed, it does seem quite likely - so kind of come to terms with it, and accepted I have difficulties I can't ignore.

[trekster]

Hello Mt McKinley, thank you for the response, hobbies are work and aviation. I've done a search as you suggest, can't find any services in my area. I'm sorry only a few of your family understand, having a similar discussion with my Mum. You mentioned diet, I have heard this before, is it just a healthy diet, i.e. fruit, vegetables etc. or is there something special advised? Thank you again for your response, keep in touch, Nige

 

My name is in blue writing above my Zebra picture. Prefer to be called Ally or Trekster.

 

Aviation as in how planes work? Pleased you enjoy your job. :-)

 

Did you put in your postcode or county in the search box?

 

I hope your family accepts your autism rather than trying to bully you out of yours. Clashing badly with mine and have been advised by professionals to avoid some of them for my own safety.

 

The foodstuffs I cut out are a lifestyle because gluten, dairy and soya can be found in non food items as well. Licking stamps can give me the gluten high. Strict avoidance of those foods and also non foodstuffs is what really helps my brain to function. I also take some supplements eg omega 3s which are also free from the foods my body is addicted to.

 

You can have as many fruit, vegetables, meat and fish provided it is plain on this lifestyle.

 

Much appreciated and kind of you to thank me for replying :-)

[nigeo]

Hi Ally

 

Sorry about your name, just getting used to the site. Yes, aviation as in how planes work, I'm lucky as I fly a lot with work.

 

Regarding diet, do you find alcohol and coffee makes a difference?

 

I put my postcode in the search bar.

 

My wife (we are separated) is understanding as she's a psychotherapist, my Mum is denying it.

 

I'm sorry about your family difficulties, that must e very difficult for you.

 

Take care Ally and keep in touch, Nige

[nigeo]

Hi Tim

 

Thank you for the heart felt reply, I can understand where you're coming from, when I started to read about it I quickly identified with it. Regarding work, I ended up working for myself as my way of coping.

 

I did the AQ test and whilst I scored highly like you, I felt it didn't really answer my questions. I then did the RDOS test which gave me the information I needed and which I often refer to.

 

Thanks Tim, keep in touch, Nige

[positive_about]

I've been considering working for myself for many years now, but as I find it hard to communicate with strangers, and lack the confidence, then I struggle to get things going. I'm far better at written communication, so I may start up something where I can keep vocal communication to a minimum. My dad is probably on the spectrum somewhere and set up his own business when young as he struggled to work for other people.

 

I did the RDOS test some time ago, but couldn't remember my score so had another go (Aspie score 131), which is quite high.

 

Its a shame families have to be difficult about these things, I told my parents but they weren't very responsive - but then they've never really been that supportive or understanding of my problems, I had to accept a long time ago that they just aren't that way, though also felt I had failed them or been a big disappointment too them.

[nippy sweetie]

Sometimes parents (mums especially) seem to think that if their family member has a problem eg AS its somehow their fault as they must have done something wrong when you were very young. This can lead to them either feeling very guilty or that they must be bad mothers for not noticing the problems when their child was young. Some cope by denial or alternatively by trying to overcompensate too late which can be irritating for adult children. Either way its as important to try to consider whats going on to underpin their behaviour as it it important for them to try to understand you! Not easy I know but can be worth it.

[trekster]

I wish that I hadn't understood your point there nippy weetie but from personal experience I do unfortunately.

This is the reason why I am so active on the autism forums because I would hate to have other relatives and

families who blamed their kids/siblings for their Aspergers. Also hope to help the spectrumies.