Anger issues.

[Akunin]

I suffer with very bad fits of anger, if something or someone annoys me I find it very hard to control. I did manage to for some years by putting all of my focus into things I like, but the past few years it has become much worse. The trigger was/is our neighbours who moved in 2½ years ago and have been extremely noisy, especially the daughter whose bedroom adjoins mine.

 

I can't focus on the things I enjoy anymore as there is usually some form of noise coming through from her, this is part of what makes me become so angry. I live at home with my parents so my bedroom is the only room in the house that is my form of escape for the times I want to be alone and enjoy my interests, but it is being ruined.

 

Due to these issues, I just have to see the neighbours outside and I become very angry as I know they aren't doing anything to reduce the problem and have also told us they don't care and will continue to make noise.

 

I am becoming very depressed because of it and I am fed up of being so angry all the time as it takes over everything I enjoy.

 

Does anyone suffer with anger and if so, do you have any methods to calm yourself down so it doesn't take over?

 

Here is a link to my other post regarding the neighbours and issues we are having:

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?/topic/30313-noisy-neighbours/

 

-Tsukimi

 

 

[Oolong]

Hi, this must be horrible for you. I am sure you are a very quiet neighbour, a bit like me. I am very quiet most of the time, and would never think of playing really loud music, and I always go to bed no later than 11 pm. It is a shame that some people are so noisy.

 

I am very sensitive to noise, which is because I have AS, and have endured noisy neighbours before, but thankfully not to the extent that you describe. Once, a neighbour argued all night long with her boyfriend, it was f this and f that, and constant stompng above me - it was in a Housing Association flat. I could not sleep all night long.

 

There is some noise that is to be expected, like ordinary household noise: footsteps, laughter, low level voices, creaking sounds, vacuum cleaner, perhaps a bit of low level TV noise. This noise bothers me a lot, and can make me feel stressed, but I know that it is really my issue because I am sensorily over-sensitive. I block it out with white noise or music if it becomes too much to bear. However, no-one should have to put up with loud music where you can actually hear the lyrics, as if it was coming from your own home - this noise is unnecessary, particularly if it occurs during the night.

 

Have you tried ear-plugs?

Edited May 1, 2014 by Oolong

[oxgirl]

I think it's important to have a 'plan B'. What I mean is, I am a very focussed person and I like to plan what I will do and where, when, etc. Especially when I was younger, but still now even, I find it hard to cope if my 'plan' is disrupted for some reason. So, if you are planning to do something in your room and it is suddenly 'spoilt' as you say, because of the noise, it could help you to have a plan B to go to instead. That way you perhaps won't feel so frustrated that your plan has been disrupted because you can then go on and do the plan B thing, i.e. going out for a walk or going to a different room to do something else, etc. This way you may feel you have more power over what you do rather than being forced to do what the neighbour dictates. Does that make sense? It's all about feeling in control yourself and having power yourself rather than having that control and power taken from you by outside influences, that's what causes the anger and frustration.

 

~ Mel ~

[Akunin]

Hi Oolong, sorry to hear you have experienced issues with noisy neighbours too. I usually have my TV on to cover noise, though I find it hard to concentrate if I have to put it on too loud. I haven't tried ear-plugs as I don't like them, I do have some ear muffs though which I will sometimes put on, though it doesn't always completely mask the noise.

 

Hi Mel, that makes perfect sense. I will definitely try that as a lot of it for me is about having my plans and routine taken away from me.

Thank you again for your advice.

 

-Tsukimi