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Russell Evans

help for parents of newly diagnosed boy

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Our 12 year old has recently been diagnosed with ASC. We live in Mid Devon and he goes to the local comprehensive which is trying its best to help. But... I want to know if anyone out there has been through what we have and can save us having to reinvent the wheel every time. Does anyone know what works with this:


  • In the last three months he has become violent towards himself and us, lashing out a lot
  • Swearing constantly
  • Massively increased OCD
  • Refusing to go to school a lot
  • Finding more and more things difficult.
  • Wanting to control us more and more, in terms of what we all do as a family (we've got two older girls in late teens)
  • Long tantrums lasting hours.
  • Threatening us with hitting
  • Spitting
  • Stealing money from me


It seems like there are layers of this really awful behaviour building up on him and I just want to find a way to bring him back to being himself again. What works? I think it is all because he is finding things more difficult and the OCD has really pushed him over the edge. Should we be more strict, should we do a rule book or something that he can see clearly, should we use sanctions (so far we just take away the Xbox etc as he lost his pocket money for stealing from me). I got in touch with the school counsellor and nurse and it seems everything has been cut back in local services, or would take ages to get referred and get help with.


What has anyone else done that really works to gain some limitations on what his behaviour is?

If we sound a bit desperate it's because we are! Sorry for the long post but if anyone can let us know what worked for you then I'd be really grateful. Thanks!

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Aspies like anyone else are responsible for their own actions. The ASD problems fundamentally lie with how other people react to you and that is where help and support is needed.


School refusal is not surprising. It was a miserable place for me.


But bad behaviour I have no time for.

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For me cutting out gluten, dairy and benzoates helped me to function more cooperatively. Does he understand how his autism affects him? There is a book "breaking free from ocd" for your son and also "asperger syndrome and adolescence" for yourself. Luke and jacqui Jackson are great authors as well.

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