Should I keep up with the playscheme?

[jlp]

I feel so sorry for some of you regarding the playschemes in your areas - we've got a place on a great one at somewhere which is a family centre in term time, 6 adults to 8 children, so friendly and accomodating - we had to fill in a big booklet about our child before he went and they read that and really hadle the child as you say is best. G has a huge phobia about being alone at the minute and need accompanied everywhere including the toilet and they're fine with that too. In short I'm really impressed and it's the place where I've been happiest to leave having tried a few creches etc over the years.

 

However G (he's 5 and has AS) has decided he hates it - the first week my partner sat for 2 hours as G was becoming so distresed at the idea of daddy going then bit the bullet and left leaving G hysterical and trying to run our after him, the next day (it's 2 days a week) my mam took him and again he was hysterical when she left. Both times he's been apparently fine during the day.

 

This week he was at the hospital on Thursday so missed that day but was supposed to go in on Friday - he was getting so upset and aggitated at the mention of this place that in the end I said he didn't have to go.

 

He can't explain why he hates it. I suspect part of it is missing me - he cries for me at school sometimes.

 

I rang them and said he wasn't coming back and they were lovely but suggested keeping his place open incase he changes his mind - should I persevere or give up if it's causing him this much upset. He also getting upset the last few times he's stayed at my mams 'missing mammy' - and he adores her and has stayed at hers since he was 9 weeks old. It seems as though he just doesn't like being apart from me.

[Tylers-mum]

Hmm, this is a hard one and I really sympathise with you. It must be so hard!!

 

Thankfully my son doesn't have any anxieties about leaving me, never has done apart from when he wants to play up a bit before going into school with his helper! LOL

 

I honestly don't know what to suggest other than, can he maybe take a picture with him or let him choose what he can take, whether it be a photo or an item that has your scent on it like a top or something?? Does he have the same problems with leaving you when he goes to school??? It maybe b/c it's a totally new environment for him and he's not familiar with it so that's upsetting him. Maybe go with him and send the day with him and wean him that way, lessen your time there but having said that, that may have the opposite effect.

 

Go with your Mummy instincts, if you don't feel happy about it and can manage without the break yourself, then leave him home with you.

 

Probably not making much sense here LOL but go with what you think is the best and maybe someone else here can offer some other advise.

 

All the very best in what you decide. <'>

[Guest flutter]

if you keep leavign and he keeps getting this upset

will he not get more anxious and not allow you to leave him anywhere else?

[elaine1]

i say take him, my daughter aged 9 says she misses me at school but it is good for her to go other places. besides she has to go to school anyway!!

 

wish we had a playscheme, its hopeless round here, nothing for kids to do.

[elainem]

I would say carry on. We had this situation with playgroup. It is very hard but there are always going to be times when you have to be separated and all children need to be able to feel safe with other appropriate adults. It's only 2 days a week, perhaps if it was all week it might seem harsh, but he might be able to manage 2 days.

 

I don't know if I am right, sometimes feel a bit cruel but I challenge my ds a little otherwise tbh we would never go anywhere

 

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

Elainex