ADVICE PLEASE BEHAVIORAL MELT DOWN

[koala]

hi everyone am having problems on a major scale with kieran we are having headbutting,biteing,kicking you name it . now i know this sounds like your average 3 year old but getting a child with asd that doesn't understand the word no is becoming a real battle we use pecs a lot and i have made flash cards with no bite ,no kick etc i feel like im bashing my head against a brick wall any advice please thanks koala

[Lesley]

Hi Koala

 

James (4, AS, ADHD) is just like that & it's a nightmare.

 

The only thing that calms him in meltdown stage is a firm cuddle & song. Sometimes it takes him 20 mins to stop the fight.

 

Sometimes you can distract him with a new activity but not mid-meltdown.

 

There is one thing I do which totally amazes me every time cos it (seemingly) always works (for now at least, touch wood) is if I sense meltdown approaching I give him a 'countdown challenge' which is a task with a time-limit

eg if he's refusing to go upstairs to bed I say 'I bet you can't climb the stairs by the time I get to 3' he's ALWAYS got there in 1! And he's always forgotton what his problem was!

As I say it amazes me everytime - must be something to do with his love of numbers & challenges?

It's like he never notices its a ploy but he sees through every other tactic I've ever thought up!

 

If your little 'un likes numbers & a challenge maybe it's worth a try?

 

L

xxx

[nellie]

Hi koala,

 

Sorry you're having such a difficult time. I know what you mean about the reaction to the word 'no', it's very common in children with ASD. It might help if you could phrase it differently, so that it's not quite so negative. I know, it's not easy!!

 

Have a look at this previous topic, it's got some useful information including a posting by Pennyindorset called the rage cycle. Hope it helps.

 

Violent Tantrums, How do you cope?

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...wtopic=27&st=60

 

Nellie xx

[MelowMeldrew]

We all seem to reaping the backlash of the holidays. Without the relative 'order' of the school to limit them,it seems are kids aer not able to cope very well with 'freedoms' at home. We've had the most awful time this year too, just like last year, and we have had to ask social service to come, to discuss where we go from here, as my son is waging 'war' on us in the most effective way he can, i.e. by using his own excrement as a weapon. We give him 100% attention as it is. He has also taken to calling everyone gremlins and won't say anything else in reply to conversations.

 

He's always had toilet issues, but now he just uses his bedroom all the time, we've redecorated twice scrubbing it off walls, removed his bunk bed which he used to 'hide' it, taken away the carpet which was sodden with pee, now he has moved this behaviour for the first time outside the home, throwing his poo at neighbours children and their house, and we've had community police here warning us, we are not able to stop it, unless we physically remove him from the garden, in this warm summer it's not been possible. while we make all efforts to take him outsaide the home to widen his interests, he just comes home afterwards and carries on where he leaves off,taps allturned on and left all night running, post pushed backout the door,, TV remote controls cheweed to bits, repeated button pushing so our SKY box failed.

 

Bus trips are also now a nightmare as he runs all over the place pushing the stop button and causing problems, taxi rides are getting hard as he kicks the seats erpeatedly allthe time,it all seems to be designed to stop us taking him anywhere, shopping is hard too now, he bangs and kicks shop windows, goes inside pulling displays over, lies on the floor, he's 10 and this is very hard to cope with we are exhausted sometimes at nigh and can't sleep, he has two lights on all night, and I'm pretty sure he hardly sleeps either, but I can't stay awake to make sure.

 

He appears now to need every minute supervised to do something, and then reacts because we do it. Time out for us all seems the hard but logical choice, We're very upset about it.

 

We could monitor him 23 hrs and 59 minutes a day, he would still use that 1 minute to carry on, indeed we can almost see his brain working and him waiting for a spare few minutes to do it. We are at a total loss as to how to proceed, he is in complete control, and it seems to us he is thoroughly enjoying the hurt and disgust that is happening. IGnroing this behaviour and keeping our head down and being firm but not rising to it, gives him the oxygen he feeds off, it's failing, he just steps it up, if we come down on it, he feeds on that too. We do not know if this is poor behaviour, attention-seeking, a trait he is devloping or all three. Clealy I think he is calling for help in some way despite it all.

 

He has no way, of amusing himself, and no way of effectively interacting with other children, so we are it

[koala]

hi everyone thanks for the posts it is soooooooooo hard when you are constantly being wacked by your children, maybe its the holidays the playgroup routine is not there the same day shopping is not there due to going out e.t.c perhaps they feel more confused.thanks for the kind words take care koala

[007paul007]

Hi Koala

Just to say I have been through what you are going through now , in fact about 2 years ago , and my son was 14 then , turned out after putting him on respiritone , that my son was developing Epilepsy at the time and because he could not convey this to us , hence his behaviour was up the wall . Usually we can put his behaviour down to something that we could put our finger on , i.e. holidays , break of routine , illness but during that period I have mentioned I could not fathom it out at all , but I know its hard and that it is difficult , but there is light at the end of the tunnel , we made it through our darkest hours and have become better people and parents for it , its never gonna be easy , just try and hang on in there .