Going mad - still won't use the toilet

[Hayze1980]

My daughter is 6 in November. She's been at school a year and she doesn't really communicate much. She still will not use the toilet. This morning we sat on the toilet for 3 hours (having regular short breaks). At the last break she went and got herself a nappy. 'This is it', I thought. Back to the toilet. 10mins later she went and got tons of rewards - biscuits, sweets and lots of noise, none of which she was particularly impressed with (just the kind of child she is). We waited a few minutes longer just incase she was holding some back but she didn't do any more so I put her in training pants and let her go. 10 mins later she is soaked, her brother's bed is soaked and she doesn't seem to care. She's not worried about being wet or dirty just as long as she doesn't have to pee down a hole. It's getting so difficult now, clothes don't fit around the nappies properly and the comments I get are enough to make me sit all day with her on the loo. I just don't know how to get her to care. She isn't capable of understanding bribes and it is questionable whether or not she understands rewards.

 

She needs to be toilet trained at some point and with things not looking likely to change, now is as good a time as any.

 

Please someone help. I've looked through a lot of the other threads regarding toilet training but nothing seems to cover this situation.

[Tez]

Sorry I haven't got any easy answers but we had similar problems with A. He's much older now and very self aware and he's explained to me that he is afraid of the toilet even now at the age of 14. He hates the sound of the water, things hitting it and when things are flushed, it physically hurts his ears. He used to worry about things coming out of his body because he didn't understand it and the use of the toilet or a potty made this obvious.

 

I know that this doesn't solve your problem, but if you can try and find out why your daughter doesn't want to use the toilet (difficult I know when they don't communicate and are so young) then maybe you're find a solution. If like my son she finds the noises hurt maybe listening to music through headphones.

 

If you're really desparate maybe speak to the GP or Consultant and ask for some help.

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope you find a solution and that someone else is able to wave a magic wand for you.

Edited August 26, 2005 by Tez

[nellie]

This might help, sorry if you have already looked at it.

 

http://www.teacch.com/toilet.htm

 

If you need any symbols you can download them for free here.

 

http://do2learn.org/

 

Good luck

 

Nellie xx

[lil_me]

Is there anything that really really motivates your daugther ? Toys, objects, anything in particular. I'm thinking along the lines of a sticker chart in the bathroom with a picture of the reward at the end, and the toilet at the top, and a picture of a nappy with a cross through it, so she sees what she is aiming for by going and it doesn't mean a massive reward every time. I've used this method with my son and several friends have used it with results but as everyone knows every child is different. The TEACHH methods are also very good.

 

Will she use a potty ? Or has she ever used one ? Thinking it could be the big hole thing my son went through, used a potty for much longer than most children. He was petrified of sitting on the toilet incase he fell in so we got him a stepper stool and kept the potty in the bathroom next to the toilet for a long time until he went on the big loo.