Extreme silliness, help needed

[LizK]

DS is nearly four and one of the things I find most challenging about his behaviour and difficult to deal with is his silliness bordering on mania sometimes. When he gets like this it's like he's high on something or his brain has sped up 100 times and misfiring. He becomes extremely silly, physically out of control, runs around laughing madly or speaks in a silly loud voice, pulling toys out randomly but not playing with them, starts slamming doors (has a door obsession) and the attention span of a gnat. He can be very naughty when he's in these moods, become destructive, relentlessly pokes or hits or tries to sit on his baby brother and finds it all hilarious. The normal strategies we use to deal with bad behaviour like ignoring or time out just don't work when he's in these moods, time out something he dislikes usually becomes extremely funny and nothing seems to get through to him. The only thing that seems to bring him down is pain, usually because he's fell over in his haste and hurt himself though once or twice I've smacked him in utter frustration .

 

He is a bit of puzzle really, at times becoming socially anxious, withdrawn and virtually mute in unfamiliar surroundings or with strangers yet in familar environments when he is comfortable he can be the complete opposite bordering on ADHD-like behaviour. Even at home he can switch from normal four year old behaviour to mania in the blink of an eye. People who see him as the shy introverted child simply don't believe me when I say what he can be like. Friends who have seen him like this area agog as at other times he's such a different child.

 

We tend to get phases when he's more likely to be like this. Additives worsen his behaviour so we've cut them out and I've noticed if his day is unstructured he's more prone to silly attacks. However he can get like this for no reason at all. I admit I find it very hard to deal with and struggle to keep calm and not lose my rag. It's so frustrating as nothing we try seems to work and I hate that lack of control. We don't really have any behavioural problems at the other times when he's non-manic and he's normally a sweet loving little boy who is willing to please.

 

Friends can't really appreciate what I mean (unless they've experienced it) as they seem to think I'm making a fuss about normal four year old boy silliness when I'm talking about something different. I had a chat to the paed at the last appointment about the wide variations in DS's behaviour and was relieved that he thought it fairly normal for a child like Adam explaining that the parts of the brain controlling impulses and attention are related to those controlling speech, coordination etc and that it's a common association. However this has not helped me manage the situation any better. Posting really to see if anyone else has experienced similar behaviour with their child and what triggers it off. Be really grateful too for any advice about how to manage DS when he gets like this or even better how to prevent it!

 

Thanks for any help

 

Liz x

[lorryw]

Hello Liz

You have my total sympathy. My son is 20 and I clearly remember a whole summer holiday of silly behaviour which drove me crazy. He demonstarted all the behaviours you mentioned and I didnt have a clue how to cope with him.

Im afraid there are no quick fix answers. The best solution I have found over the years is to ignore which is sooo hard.

Im afraid I have to admit to not being the most patient person but I now know from experience that the moment I react the behaviour will be stepped up a notch for use at a later date!

I was reading an article about autistic children the other day. The guy writing really knows his stuff (he is autistic ) and he said that we actually dont give enough time for behaviour strategies to work.

Im afraid I have been known to snap after what seems an eternity of ignoring a behaviour and then find myself leaping around the room screeching like a demented baboon whilst my son looks on in glee, back to square one.

I find the pretending to be engrossed in a book strategy works for me, with the odd bored glance in his direction.

Perhaps someone else will come along with other ideas.

Good luck

Loraine xx

[smallworld]

Hi,

we are coming to the end of a summer holiday of silly behaviour from our 5 yr old. Hallelujah ! the end is in sight.

He is totally manic at the mo, has given up sleeping until about midnight, and during the day is just wild. I've put it down to the lack of structure he gets at school ,and I'm hoping that once he's back in full-time school he might calm down (he did the same last year, but started waking at around 2 or 3 am !)

We have gone back to our previous no additives diet but have yet to notice any improvment. Our biggest problems are his constant burping, I'm amazed he hasn't made himself sick, I certainly feel sick !! and his constant shouting 'LITTLE B***ER'

in the garden. What must the neighbours think ? ( to be said in an ironic tone !)

You're not alone. Not much constructive help, sorry, but will help to share the load !!

 

wac

[call me jaded]

Does he laugh out loud for no reason? Alternate between being full on and almost comatose? What does he eat? Is it chicken nuggets, cheesy pasta, bread, yogurts, weetabix?

 

My son used to be like a tasmanian devil, eat half a loaf of bread and butter and have a wild half hour, and then completely withdraw. What you describe sounds like 'classic' gluten & dairy intolerance, which Sunderland call the Opioid Excess Theory for very good reason.

 

There are loads of threads on diet here. You've already made a connection with additives, so why not send off a urine sample?

[Zemanski]

Com is 13 and has recently started this, in the last year - it drives me up the wall.

 

He does it mostly when under stress and it can be a lead in to a meltdown and if I try to stop him it automatically triggers the meltdown. Sometimes he does it coming out of a meltdown.

because it is so closely tied to the meltdowns I assume it is part of a manic episode, Com is pretty much in crisis just now and goes from hyper to depressed at the drop of a hat.

 

I know there are sometimes dietary issues with this sort of behaviour but he has never been like this before and his diet is pretty good and hasn't changed (he is not gluten and milk free but he hasn't responded to removing these from his diet before).

 

I'm not sure which is worse, the meltdown or the hyper mode - both are really difficult to deal with and I figure both are stress related.

I'm still hoping that school will get things together (all those negotiations we were having last term and getting his statement tightened up in the next few weeks should have some effect) and he will be able to relax a bit more in the next term - if not it's going to have to be home ed.

 

Zemanski

[loulou]

Hi,

 

Kai has just turned 7 and he can be very calm, or TOTALLY manic too. He runs around, leaping on and off the furniture, screeches, shouts out rude words and basically just goes crazy. I can't find a trigger for it.

 

It's totally impossible to stop him, or calm him down when he's "on one" like this. What i do is make sure that the house is as safe as possible so he can't hurt himself, then i retreat to another room.

 

Call Me Jaded, when you said about sending off a urine sample, do you mean that lactose/gluten intolerance could be detected this way?

 

 

Loulou x

[call me jaded]

Yes, loulou:

 

http://osiris.sunderland.ac.uk/autism/hplc.htm

[LizK]

Thanks Everyone

 

You've no idea (well you probably have!) how good it is to hear that other parents have experienced similar behaviour with their child. Sometimes find the sort of isolation of dealing with these things alone one of the hardest thigns to deal with and makes me doubt myself or what I'm doing for my son. I'd never really considered that what he eats, beyond additives, being contributory so am off to find some archived posts on that topic - and nodoubt more questions from me.

 

Thanks once again

 

Liz

[Brook]

I can relate to this too

 

My son will be sitting watching tv one minute, then the next he will shout and scream at the top of his voice about something on the tv, there is a cartoon where the character has the same name as my son, this sends him into a frenzy, he'll start jumping about shouting "I want to change my name, dont call me it anymore" , he also watches power rangers, this too sends him over the edge, he starts screaming "I wanna be a red ranger and do back flips in the street", he recites the bit about 'power rangers are specially trained actors blah blah blah (I dont know it all, he does ), this also happens when not watching tv, we can be up the town and it will come into his head and he'll start screaming and shouting it.

 

He has also taken to being verbaly aggresive, his favourites at the moment are,

"youre evil, Idiot, I'm gonna suck your brains out" , if anyone so much as gives him a very mild telling off, this is what he comes back with and it doesn't matter who it is .

 

He can be sitting there one minute really calm then the next he has a manic episode, I must admit, I dont know what seems to trigger most of them, apart from some of the cartoons, yes, I know I should put a stop to him watching them, but another day he'll watch them and be sitting there laughing very hysterically at them. .

 

Brook