What age did routines become key?

[Lynden]

Just curious as Logan is now two and we've always had semblance of routine, just because with kids and working from home it makes life simpler, but as he's getting older its becoming more obvious that even little variances to some parts (not all) of his routine are making life difficult so we're having to become a lot more strict in things like bedtime, ie bath at exactly 7pm, juice and bed etc.

 

Lynne

[annie]

Hi Lynne,

 

I can't remember never having to stick to routine. Even now, at nearly 16 if we know there's going to be even a slight change, Alex has to be very well prepared in advance.

 

Yesterday morning his friends called for him out of the blue to go to London. He wasn't dressed so he started to get really panicky, then left his friends waiting outside the house for about 45 minutes while he slowly ate his breakfast and had a shower. There was no way Alex was going to change his routine of getting ready for anybody .

 

Alex's friends are really good, they accept him for what he is, thankfully

 

Annie

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[lil_me]

Like Annie I can't remember when it wasn't a routine, even when he was a baby it didn't matter if I tried to keep him awake longer, he still woke at the same time. You could not get him to sleep without his 'Red Ted' If I tried to give him food before drink he'd scream the place down, liked all the same food which had to be set out in the same way or he didn't think it was the same. When we didn't know of his problems it just appeared very strange. Little Mr JUST SO as my mother called him as everything has always had to be just so.

 

Now routine and the need for sameness have taken over our lives really

Edited September 7, 2005 by lil_me

[annie]

When I worked as an LSA with a boy with ASD, I remember his Mum asking me what I thought was the most important thing that helped Alex. When I said definately routine, Mum said "oh, we're not routine people, we don't do routine". I often wonder if they 'do routine' now I hope so, for their son's sake.

 

Annie

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Edited September 7, 2005 by annie

[Tez]

I really don't know what I think about this. We've always had routines and as others have said I can't remember a time when those routines weren't important to my son.

 

However, I am becoming increasingly aware that these routines actually increase the OCD aspects of my son's personality. His bedtime routine has grown over the years and it is now so long that it is a real problem and a problem of our own making because we tried developing a routine to help with his sleep problems (it didn't work). His need for routine can take over the way we all live our lives.

 

I still think routine and structure are important but I'm trying really hard to show my son that it is ok not to stick rigidly to timetables and to have abit of flexibility in life. I suppose it's about balance and when the pendulum swings too far in either direction there is a problem.