Phyl Report post Posted September 11, 2005 My grandson Liam, is nearly six years old. He is very intelligent in a lot of ways, he could count to a hundred, then count back to 1 at 4 years old, he can read and spell to a 7 year old standard and remembers landmarks (mainly road signs) when we go to places we haven't visited for a while. He has obsessions with things, spinning wheels, helicopter blades on his toys and fans. He knows all the shops with fans in and goes in regularly to check they are still working. He hasn't been actually diagnosed with Aspergers but there is a Health Visitor at his school who is keeping an eye on him. He also messes about at meal times, making hills with spaghetti bolognaise or potato, playing with his food with his fingers and generally behaving like a two year old. He is up and down from the table and when told to sit and eat, replies that he 'just has to do something' and until he has done it, he won't settle! He has stayed with my husband and myself quite a few times and is fine. We devote all our time to playing with him and taking him out as we both enjoy each other's company. He seems to start playing up when his mum comes to pick him up, I realise that he might be jealous of the fact that the attention is now away from him, but although we include him in our chats, he just goes mad. As soon as she and I start to chat, he starts shouting, throwing things about and saying things like "Shut up poo poo head (his latest favourite)". He can be very aggressive and lashes out, not caring who or what he hits. He also behaves like this at other times, for no reason that we can see, obviously something has triggered it off but we don't know and he can't tell us. His mum is much calmer about it (mostly) and tries to talk to him and find out what is the problem, but it doesn't always work. I get very upset when he is in these rages, mainly because my kids didn't behave like this and I just don't know how to deal with it. Are there any other grandparents out there who have the same problem? If so, can someone tell me how to cope with it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted September 11, 2005 Hello Phyl. When my son was diagnosed we were given a booklet (the name of which escapes me) to give to my mum so that she could understand what AS was all about. I am sure someone will be able to reccomend some books for you. In the meantime can I suggest a good read on here and a visit to the National Autistic Society webstie: www.nas.org.uk On the front page is some links to follow that will lead you to some background reading on all things ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorders). Hope that helps a bit. Others will have plenty of advice for you, welcome on board. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elanor Report post Posted September 11, 2005 Hi Phyl, and welcome to the forum. This is a link to a wonderful article (American) written for grandparents. It isn't quite from the angle that you're talking about, but you might like it: http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/grandparents.html Elanor PS 'Poo poo head' - that's been a favourite with my boy for years!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
big mamma Report post Posted September 11, 2005 Hi Phyl, My daughter is the very same. My mum could be having a great day with her whilst I am out but the minute I come back in and try and discuss something with my mum she goes bananas ! It's very annoying and I have tried all ways to get round it but haven't managed to yet . If you find the answer give me a shout Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Klou Report post Posted September 12, 2005 Why do they do this? We have this problem. DS is an angel for everyone but us. It used to be that he would be good then come home with mad behaviour and silly phrases. Now basically if we and other people are in a room he does this stuff. Continuing to do it at home. It is the thing that drives us most insane. Particularly as it makes us look like terrible parents. Apparently my dh was the same as a child and told my MIL that he (dh) is always fine until his parents turn up. I realise this behaviour is worse if there are more than two people in the room.# Why? Why? Why? What on earth can we do about it? It is ruining the time we have together as a family. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lynden Report post Posted September 13, 2005 (edited) Sounds fairly familiar. My little one is only two, but he'll be as good as gold for my parents when they have him over, and as soon as I step into the room he starts to play up I wish I knew why too! I do take comfort in the fact though that some of my friends with NT kids have this happen too, but to a lesser extent. Will be interested to hear if you find anything worth reading as I'd like to give some material to my parents. Lynne Edited September 13, 2005 by LLaverty Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites