mum22boys Report post Posted November 16, 2005 I have previously posted a thread regarding my son having a friend coming to play. M is not very good with others coming round and visits generally seem to be unsucessful. However M has got this new friend in his class. Up until recently he had never been invited round to a friends to play but last week he was invited to his friends. I was very worried, his mum asked if he could come the next day but I knew it would be too soon for m as he needs more notice about things. So I thought it sounded like I was being awkward about him going and i ended up telling her that I had problems with M. I explained we think he may have AS. She said she works at the school so M knew her and although he doesn't generally acknowledge anyone he did respond when i asked him if he knew her. I felt this would help the situation. I felt like I had betrayed M by letting a 'stranger' know I have problems. Apparently the visit went ok with only a few things like him not following rules in games etc. Anyway M wanted him to come round here so I was going to arrange it. However when he came out of school today another parent approached me and asked if M wanted to go round and play with her son. I generally answer for him because if I put him on the spot and ask him he can be abusive. She suggested Friday which was the day I was to ask if his other friend could come round. So I saked him if he wanted to go to this boys house and he shouted NO. I felt bad because it is hardly like he can be choosy with who he has as friends! So I tell the mum I will discuss it with her tomorrow. This is so i can speak to him first. He tells me he doesn't want to go because he has been to this childs house once before and doesn't want to go back.(he can't see the point if he has already been there). He says he is happy to have him come here instead. What do I say to the Mum, will it seem strange he doesn't want to go there? She doesn't know about m but i don't know if to tell her or not. I feel it may help to tell some Mum's as m doesn't acknowledge their kids out of school and it is becoming more noticeable. I don't want him to lose the few friends he has. What should I do? Any advice please. Sorry to go rambling on - hope it makes some sense!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted November 16, 2005 I'd be chuffed he wants to invite him to to come home. You know the mum better than us and are better placed to know what her reaction might be. We were the other side of the coin on this one once when phas jr had some firends go bowling with him. He invited one child whose mum phoned and explained her son had 'some problems' and "are you sure that he wants XXXX to come?" We told her not to worry, whatever the 'problem' was we'd cope. That opened the floodgates as she then said at 14 it was his first invite to a 'party' for years. "He has something called AS you see...." cue laughter from Mrs P "Is that what your worried about? So does phas jr. Come with him if you like, if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to stay, you'd be very welcome." He came, he stayed he played, (he brought his own food) he went home. Guess what I'm trying to say is she might surprise you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Report post Posted November 17, 2005 Hi Mum22 May be you could try explaining your son that with friends it is always nice to take turns even in going to their house and them coming to yours that what I did with H and it worked brillantly ...HHmmmmm to the point that he would refuse to ever go twice in a row to a friend house,... no matter what!!! Good luck. Malika. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mum22boys Report post Posted November 18, 2005 Hi, Thought i'd give an update. I tried explaining to m about turn taking and he was having none of it. In the end i spoke to the mum. I told her that he couldn't see the point in going round when he'd been before and that he was being assessed for AS. Her reaction was excellent. She said she would do anything that helped him and if i wanted to go round with him i could. When i suggested this to him he was very happy. Thanks anyway for the advice mum22boys Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted November 18, 2005 How lovely of her! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted November 18, 2005 That's fantastic. Sounds like you've got a friend never mind your son! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Report post Posted November 19, 2005 Hi Mum22 Thanks for the update, that's sound amazing how nice of her. Malika. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
