COPING AT MAINSTREAM HIGH

[KarenM]

As posted before dd having a bad time at high school just wondering if any ones kid copes well as i have been told by two people that some as kids cope well but i cant see it myself.

Edited November 19, 2005 by KarenM

[phasmid]

YES!!

 

Phas jr does. More than 'just' too. There have been one or two problems but 99% of the time he has little or no problems. We took the time and trouble to get to know them well before he actually joined them. This meant when problems did occur we knew who to speak to. His school have been fantastic and worked with us. That I think is the really important part - we work together. He's an academic high flier (social skills of a gnat mind) and loves it.

 

So yes, it can happen.

Edited November 18, 2005 by phasmid

[Viper]

My 14 yr old DD copes fine now. At first it was awful, she was bullied for the first two years or so then she was taken in by some nice girls and she has a really good friend now. I think her friend is "needy" in that she needs friends she can rely on to be there, she relies on J to be sensible so it works quite well.

 

That said it is not the same for everyone and it can take time for them to "become normal" or just seem to be, if you know what I mean. A process that can cause stress at home.

 

Viper.

[Minxygal]

Yes, mine does, although he failed at first.

I won't lie it's taken a lot of hard work on our part helping them to see why he acts in the way he does and what they can do to help him, but it has been worth it.

We have had teachers apologise for their perception of him when he first started there and also a teacher stopped us not long ago and said they will never be able to teach J as much as he has taught them.

I'm really proud of my son and proud of the school too for turning their thinking around and trying to make a difference.

Edited November 18, 2005 by Minxygal

[Kathryn]

It's great to hear success stories. I think many on this forum have children who don't cope - but then that's why we're here!

 

I think the school has to go out of their way to help the child and make it work - such schools are probably rare.

 

My daughter coped for four years but was never happy and comfortable as she was masking her ASD all the time. Her intellect and memory held her together during this time and one or two good friendships prevented her from descending into total misery. She might have made it through to the end of her GCSE's - I expect many kids do manage to struggle through to the end but may be going through agonies whilst looking OK to the outside world.

[Noetic]

I coped well grades-wise, although I did get more and more distressed because my methods of coping and learning didn't mange to "cover" for me as well any more. (I.e. I didn't always understand the material in the way that was expected of us, even thoguh I still got mostly good to v. good grades. I just could't utilise that knowledge, especially orally)

 

Socially I was very isolated though, but I was lucky since I was beginning to make a friend or two outside of school, and I was always in comparably small classes (around 15 pupils) so I coped quite well.

Edited November 18, 2005 by Noetic

[Guest flutter]

we are doin ok

and i not really sure how many adults in the school know,

well i know for sure 3 ( and one is nurse cos i told her!)

she is not terribly acedemic, so will struggle anyhow

on a good day i say yes she should be there, on a bad day no

but we winning just now, no more bulliying for her phone

[Zemanski]

We've managed to turn around a very bad situation and although it's still early days the provision is now very good and it looks like Com is going to do much better.

 

There are even one or two things he likes about school now

 

Zemanski

[KarenM]

Thanks for replys. they are all very interesting. DD has been off school again today because she could not cope with it being a non uniform day. Shes back next week for half days though.karen PS I wish I knew how to change mainsteam to mainstream

[Canopus]

I know a 14 year old with AS who enjoyed junior school and did well there because the head and 2 of his teachers were very understanding of his SEN. He was statemented in Y3 and AS diagnosed in Y5.

 

Everything completely screwed up at secondary school because the school did not cater for his SEN and the teachers didn't understand the problems. The LEA was very unhelpful as well and came out with comments like it's a different school environment, you have to adapt to it. He left school towards the end of Y8 because of bullying and lack of success at getting anywhere with the SEN provision. He is now home educated and studying GCSEs in English, maths, electronics, and IT.

[Guest flutter]

i spoke too soon

but a minor detail, we have detention cos we didnt get all homework copied down

but she dont mind them lol wonder if they know that ???

will talk to school next week and see if they can support the homework copyin lol

Cx

[Hectorshouse]

I think it depends HUGELY on the m/stream school. If the school are truely ASD friendly then FAB, but if they are not then its a rocky ride, unfortunately each school is different and every area is a bit of a lottery. I have learnt the hard way, to really research each school, don't believe anything I am told until I see it in action and fight fight and fight somemore to get T into the school that 'he' wants to go to and it being the one that 'can' actually meet his needs.

 

T is going from better to betterer now in a school that has such good knowledge and experience of working with children with ASD, ask me this question last year when T was in his other m/stream school and I would've doubted that any m/stream could've provided him with appropriate education and support. Until our move I was pushing from the ASD specialist school, we are fortunate now, but had we remained where we were, I am sure a lot the T that I have back now would've been gone for good, the damage that can be done by a poorly committed school to the reality of ASD's is terrible to witness. I wish more schools would approach this issue with the seriousness that it deserves ...

 

.. ooopsss .. getting off me soap box. HHxx

[Petra]

I now Home educate my son because his school would not give him enough support.

 

He is much happier and I wish i had done it years ago as he has always found school hard.

If the teachers and the SENCO had given him all the help and support he needed and he had been happy I would of kept him there.

 

I am now thinking ahead for my daughter who should join the high school next year, I don't think she will cope at allbut will decide nearer the time.

 

Petra