Control and A.s.d.

[ceecee]

This came up briefly on another thread so I thought I would start a new thread on it so it didn't get lost within another thread.

 

I have both read and experienced(with myself) that people with A.S. can be quite controlling in the areas they find difficult e.g. emotionally and socially.Because of the difficulties they have they can only cope if things are done that way so they try to control to make sure things are done that way.Hope this makes sense.

 

Rather fortunately with me I am able to recognise when I am being a bit controlling in the areas I find difficult and I stop myself.But my a.s. is I suspect very mild.If I don't stop myself my husband soon does

 

Just wondered what others thoughts experiences were?

[Hidden Gem]

Most control is routed in insecurity and or self esteem.

 

An sense of insecurity can lead to wanting to control things in order so that the person can feel secure.

 

It does not have much to do with AS - again it is a product of environment and self.

 

Although anyone with serioud AS - control must and most likely linked to that.

 

Happy to be proved worng, but can't think of anyone I have ever met who likes to be in control and underneath it is not insecure.

 

Again death, it is the unknown, something we can't control and if it happens that somehow we might just die and that will be it, well it is perhaps logical to think, what is my place in this crazy universe, which could make one insecure.

 

Having faced death head on, I can assure you it is nothing to be scared of, strnagely calming and far to inviting.

[ceecee]

Maybe but I don't think I can agree with all of your post but I respect your opinion

[Zemanski]

Had a lecture on this recently

 

when life is unpredictable there is no control

 

to compensate for lack of general control perhaps taking control of specific things like routines and rituals helps a person to feel more grounded and centred.

 

AS people often find it almost impossible to predict what is going to happen, how people will react, or how they themselves will be feeling ........

so they become controlling in order to build some security into their lives.

 

if you try to stop this control fetish then it is likely that you will undermine stability and cause an increase in the controlling behaviour as the person tries to cling to their security

 

if you increase stability in other ways - putting appropriate support in place, providing props to make difficult situations manageable, etc - then the person may become more flexible and tolerant

 

manage anxiety not behaviour

 

works for Com

 

Zemanski

[ceecee]

Well said Zemanski

[Hidden Gem]

Take a look at,

 

http://www.ec-online.net/Knowledge/Articles/control.html

 

Which as has been said already links control to personality and self, it is a very interesting article.

 

You'll notice a remark in their regarding 'eye contact', which is a reminder that many personality traits/disorders diplay sysmptoms of AS and other spectrum disorders.

 

There seems to be a tendancy to group everthing under one banner, when in fact personality type diorders play a huge part.

 

In this the eye contact is related to anxiety, all this comes down vulnerability and self, much of which most likely stems from environment.

Edited December 15, 2005 by Hidden Gem

[ceecee]

If someone is ticking many boxes for A.S. it might actually cause a lot of harm and damage and delay them the help they may need if things they do are put down to enviroment.

 

Whilst I appreciate enviroment plays it's part in things it wouldn't be responsible for everything especially when the person is ticking so many boxes or if for instance you are noticing it in various family members who could have been brought up in different family enviroments.

 

I think it is a dangerous thing to do to blame things on enviroment totally.

 

Anyway just my opinion.

 

If my child was displaying many symptoms the last thing i would do would be to blame it on their enviroment.They would be visiting the G.P.

[ceecee]

Sorry forgot to add.Will definately look at the article when I get a moment.Bit busy today looking after my baby niece.

 

But I think things like this are interesting so will definately give it a read. Thanks

[Zemanski]

there have been studies of AS and personality over the last few years and the results seem to indicate that most people with AS typically fall into 4 of the main personality categories - obsessional, passive dependent, passive aggressive and explosive.

All of these have control as a feature and it has been suggested that the need for control because of the core lack of stability actually puts AS people into these categories ie. if they didn't have a desperate need to control then they might not fall so readily into these categories.

 

What I'm saying is that while anyone may have a controlling personality (which may be extreme enough to be considered disordered) whether or not they have autism, people with autism tend towards controlling personalities because of the underlying difficulties they have with being in control of their environments.

 

on this site we do look specifically at autism as that is what the site is about - it is good to be reminded that some of the things autistic people have to deal with are things which everybody has to deal with and things like personality disorders or environment may be an issue but on the whole control is an issue for a lot of autistic people and we do need to look at how it affects them and how to support them with it from an ASC point of view. The roots of the need to control in those people with AS who have this tendency do seem to be in the AS and do seem specific to autism. Managing the environment to increase the central core of stability is one way to try to overcome the issue for AS people, but to do this you have to have an awareness of the specific ways in which that core works for an AS person rather than for people in general so you do need to look at it in an AS context.

 

If you look at other threads on eye contact - for example the research thread - you will find lots of discussion about eye contact and anxiety. There are issues with eye contact for people with severe depression for example but the roots of these will often be entirely in anxiety and it is an indicator for depressive illness whereas for autistic people there are also sensory and processing issues to consider and although autistic people are prone to depression it is a feature of autism even when no depression or obvious anxiety is present.

Again if you increase the person's stability and control the anxiety diminishes and eye contact usually improves naturally although for most people with an ASC the issue will not go away entirely.

 

 

Zemanski

[Canopus]

if you increase stability in other ways - putting appropriate support in place, providing props to make difficult situations manageable, etc - then the person may become more flexible and tolerant

 

manage anxiety not behaviour

 

My residential school did the exact opposite of this. It was a tense environment where kids constantly lived under fear and the head used fear and intimidation as his primary weapons. Kids worried that if they failed an internal exam they would have to repeat a year. If they left the school site without permission then the head would take delight in punishing them by making them stand outside his office with no clothes on.

[ceecee]

Zemanski

 

Another fantastic posting.

 

Your right.Eye contact does increase and decrease depending on anxiety but will never go away entirely.That's exactly my opinion as well.In fact I agree with your posting.

[Hidden Gem]

what about if you are pyschic (for example)

 

And when you look at people you can see all their emotions and often know what they are thinking.

 

So heigtened is this pyschic sensitivity that it is sometimes hard to look at people, becuase often what you see is not very nice (for example)

 

and say this had been proven time and time again, what then, I imagine it would be difficult to maintain eye contact.

 

Becuase at the end of the day if we could see people for who they really are, much of it would not be very nice.

Edited December 15, 2005 by Hidden Gem

[Zemanski]

I have very little experience of psychics, if they exist they obviously have sensory issues too and they are certainly not the ordinary average person you meet in the street. their sensory issues would need addressing too if their eye contact were to be expected to improve

 

given that most psychics I've ever heard of consider it to be a gift I think they would probably be prepared to struggle with eye contact rather than address their sensory issues, also while the unpleasantness of some people may be difficult to look at it is almost certainly not linked to anxiety and distress in the way it is for many AS people.

 

I think this is off the point, HG

 

Zemanski

[Hidden Gem]

No of ocurse not,

 

As someone who is pyschic, I was interested that was all. Obviously that comment was about me.

 

Before the sirens start, I belive all pyschic's and the pyschic nature related to brain and activity in the brain.

 

I have never made eye contact easily, becuase for me people have often appeared as an open book.

 

Being pyschic could roughly, in most cases possibly be tied in with a condition, but that is another complex and perhaps something for the future.

 

Going back in a roundabout away, I agree, for people with a diagnosed condtion like AS then a different set of issues come into play, and enviroment drops away as a likely cause.

Edited December 15, 2005 by Hidden Gem

[ceecee]

I'm a bit confused here.Easily done I know

 

Are we saying all pyschics dont make eye contact????

 

What if someone was pyschic and had Aspergers???That's a possibility.

 

I think Zemanski is right and we are going completely off topic here.

 

 

Lessen the stress and anxiety on someone with AS by altering their enviroment and the eye contact improves as does the need to control.

 

I think this is what Zemanski was saying and this makes sense to me and it is what I was trying to say but not half sowell.

[smallworld]

I'm just flabbergasted by Canopus's punishment story

That's not punishment it's perversity, and I would have thought criminally so.

 

wac