kirstie Report post Posted January 29, 2006 i would've slapped someone purple if they'd have put me in styrups! Hey, what about the internals i forgot to mention, huh how could i forget. Apparently it's to check how much you've dilated, huh, personally it feels more like they're rooting for gold Guys........guys??? where did you go ..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted January 29, 2006 Huh...I smirk at your internal...now a stubbed toe (see LKS' thread) - THAT hurts! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted January 29, 2006 Actually .... hand up here .... I had stirrups with my first child but that was 16 years ago! Er, unfortunate turn of phrase there, Daisy, given the subject matter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 29, 2006 Oh goodie - are we doing birth stories?...... How about waters breaking in the dentist chair (yes, really!) at 31 weeks.....but not alot.....so i wander off home, bit confused......got home, figured this might not be a good thing ( ) and called Midwife......who shouted at me to get my backside to hospital NOW...... In hospital......was told not to get up for anything......around 12am decided i needed a wee and got up (never been good with rules ).......realised that the blood on the bathroom floor wasn't actually the colour of the flooring and pressed the red button thingy..... Then begins several hours of panic....and faces with proding fingers (I will get my revenge..).......and more panic........and more blood... Emergency section - saw a tiny little head of hair - every monitor began to bleep and shout - more faces and proding hands - the anesthatist saying 'Your going to sleep now, night hun'. Then waking up, bit confused, two days later in ICU - with a polaroid of my gorgeous little monkey on my pillow That should keep 'em away for a bit girls Oh and the Midwife i ended up with - said, 'Are you *****'s sister? - i was in his year at school, thought i recognised you'. How fabulous, when you looking as gorgeous as that - to bump into one of your brothers ex's Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted January 29, 2006 Nah...was present for two c-sections and had a good look over the curtain thingy too. You'll have to do better than that....Hi ho Silver away! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 29, 2006 Damn it!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted January 29, 2006 Oh goodie - are we doing birth stories?...... How about waters breaking in the dentist chair (yes, really!) Old joke time: Woman to dentist: I don't know which scares me more... having a tooth pulled or giving birth... Dentist: Well make you mind up, madam, I've got to adjust the seat... YatatatatataTayyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaa!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smallworld Report post Posted January 30, 2006 a bit difficult to look over the curtain thingy when you're the one on the table, I just looked at my reflection in the huge,very shiny steel light fitting above I only did that the first time, for the next two sections I made sure they took my glasses off !! Only threw up over the consultant when in labour with the first. Oops ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted January 30, 2006 Baddad, this is women's talk, what are YOU doing here, anyway? Was this another thread title that didn't live up to expectations? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted January 30, 2006 was this another thread title that didn't live up to expectations Actually i was just checking out the title... couldn't get my head round the use of the terms 'crazy' and 'woman' like that - as if there's some other sort of 'woman' or some other definition of 'crazy' (?) ................. Hmmmmmmmmmmm Interesting hypothesis, but i don't think it'll hold up under scrutiny! You'll notice i carefully avoided the word 'synonymous' - that's 'cos I can't spell it! L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted January 31, 2006 Two weeks overdue. 1) First attempt at inducing = pessary. 2) Second attempt at inducing = midwife inserts large crochet hook & breaks water (then presumably goes back to crocheting ) 3) Third attempt at inducing = whatever it is that they put into the drip 8 hours of labour (gas & air) Baby desperately trying to get out, mummy wouldn't part with him (each midwife cheerfully says "can see babies head" to mummy. Mummy not impressed) Shift change of midwife. This one is too ###### chirpy by half & mummy wants to insert melon into midwife's nether regions every. single. time. midwife says "now we are doing well aren't we" WE? WE? 7 more hours of labour (gas & air, crushing hubby's fingers) Epidural - urge to push too strong, cos baby's head so low. Midwife said pushing not advisable, only 4 cms dilated (BTW, how DO they measure that, do they put a little ruler in there or something??) Wonderful wonderful epidural. Mummy very tired, now 16:30, been up since midnight. Mummy goes to sleep now pain stopped. Emergency C Section. Baby lifted out of mummy. Doc points out to mummy that it's a beautiful boy. Mummy opens one eye, says "oh yes, very nice" then goes back to sleep Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted January 31, 2006 Baby lifted out of mummy. Doc points out to mummy that it's a beautiful boy. Mummy opens one eye, says "oh yes, very nice" then goes back to sleep SO, SO TRUE - Men leaping about the room feeling like God himself............ ........... while mum - very nice baby I'm sure, now just give me a cup of tea, a sandwich and a nice long sleep! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
