AS Parents

[Gilbo]

The original DARPANET was created in 1969. The term internet was coined in 1989 for what was then known as ARPANET. The modern day internet available to the general public came into existance in 1995. There is also a collection of discussion forums known as USENET that was created in 1981 and still exists today although use has declined badly since the late 1990s.

 

It hit its peak of popularity in 1996 from what i can tell, usenet that is.

 

We got the www. in 1989.

[Auriel]

Usenet brought forth such things as the spreading popularity of sharewear programs, such as the orignal doom, which had so many downloads that i'd have to look it up to quote it, but sadly i dont care enough

[IAmNotPrinceHamlet]

As a parent of an AS son and having AS myself, I guess the answer should be yes. However, I did not find out that I had AS until after my son was diagnosed. I had a seriously bad time at school, but they didn't have a nice label to attach to me at the time. Had I known that I had AS before I fell pregnant with my son, would I still have chosen to have a child? Yes. I won't have any more, though. It's hard enough raising one child with AS when you have AS yourself, let alone raise two. The chances of me having a child without AS are virtually zero, as my partner also has AS. My father also has AS. My stress levels are at an all time high, by the way.

Edited February 18, 2006 by IAmNotPrinceHamlet

[Canopus]

A crucial question is whether the problems caused by AS emerge at school or happen at home as well. Some kids are fine at home doing their own things but become difficult children at school. Other kids exhibit bad behaviour at home because of problems at school. This is more likely during term time than holidays.

 

Excessive peer pressure at school also causes some kids with AS to try and fit in with their classmates outside school, sometimes with undesirable consequences. This could be more commonplace if the kid doesn't know they have AS and thinks they are NT. If the kid knows they have AS then they might be more inclined to be themselves rather than try and fit in with classmates.

[Zemanski]

The problems for Com did not emerge till school. Preschool he was so good I said something to the doctor about it when he was 3.

 

I wouldn't have another child because I have bad pregnancies and after losing 3 to gain 2 I think that's enough.

 

If I had to choose again whether to have my kids though the answer would be yes but I think I would like to bring them up differently, not put Com into mainstream for a start.

 

When he is on holiday Com is lovely, we only ever have problems with him when he's at school

 

Zemanski

[Lynden]

My husband is most likely AS and my son is autistic, my daughter is NT. We had decided to stop at two children but had I wanted a third, I would have been pregnant by the time we started being concerned about my son as I like small age gaps

 

I would have had a third regardless though had that been our plan for a family.

 

Lynne

[Tally]

I am an AS adult. I do not want children, because I like my life how it is (well, at least the bit about having no children), not because I am worried they may be autistic. My husband would be an utterly useless father due to his own issues, and I do not want end up like a single mother who also has a fully grown man to look after. I don't want to spend the rest of my life known as Mike's wife, or that kid's mother - I want to be "Tally, the girl I know from work (or wherever)."

 

I find it extremely hard to make eye contact, even with my own parents. Eye contact is an important part of bonding with a baby, and I would worry that the baby would feel unloved. I also find it hard to understand what people want when they don't explain it very clearly. My husband gets upset when I haven't yet realised something that he's been hinting at for months, I keep telling him I just need him to tell me straight out, subtle as a brick like, but he finds that hard - how much harder would it be for a baby/toddler, who hasn't yet learned to speak.

 

I used to babysit my friend's daughter for a 12 hour day while my friend went to work. The little girl was aged 6 months-1yr when I looked after her. I also looked after her for 3 weeks solid while my friend was in hospital. I loved that little girl to bits, and really enjoyed looking after her. She was easy to look after and rarely cried. I left her sitting in the high chair while I prepared her meals and she was happy to just sit and fiddle with a couple of toys. When she looked tired I would lie her in her cot and didn't have to sit and hold her while she fell asleep or anything. She also loved listening to Duran Duran played really loudly, which suited me just fine I was good at looking after her - I must have been, cos she was content with me, and her parents trusted me with her.

 

For long and complicated reasons, I am not able to see her any more, but I do know that it has become apparent that she is autistic.

 

There seems to be a strong genetic link to autism in my family, but that would not put me off having children, if I wanted them.

 

I would be more concerned about having an NT child than an AS one, due to the constant need for attention and reassurance. I don't know how I would cope looking after a child who has more 'severe'/obvious autism, because I struggle to look after myself, require a lot of time to 'unwind,' and don't know if I'd have the energy to devote to a child who needs constant supervision. I suppose it depends how the autism presents . . . but it's irrelevant as I won't be having a child anyway.

 

It's pretty obvious that my father has AS, although he does not see any point in pursuing a diagnosis. I love him a great deal, and have no doubt that he loves me, but I cannot honestly say that he is a good parent, or that we have had a loving relationship while I was growing up. He worked long hours - his AS allowed him to focus on his work and his career without distraction, and he was very successful. But this also meant that he was never home . . . I hardly know him really . . . We barely speak. I don't want to be a parent like that either, who you're not allowed to talk to or hug.