overly tactile

[justamom]

My son Keegan is very tactile. He likes to touch us constantly,he mostly like to touch our face or he rubs his cheek against our skin or plays with my hair. He loves long hair, he also uses the back of his hand to tap our faces and then rubs his hand on our skin... It's so annonying at times, i could be driving the car and he will try to get to my hair to play with it.

 

My daughter had friends over on last week and he started to do this too one of her friends who thought he was about to give her backhander (because he uses the back of his hand to touch ). It was only confound to the family now its moved to anybody which could cause a problem at school. He could get into trouble if he starts to touch girls and they get the wrong impression and thinks its inappropriate (which it probably is) How do we over come this and what forms of distraction should i be using???

[LizK]

My four year old went through a phase of this mainly with us but also touching the staff at nursery inappropriately. He started doing it to his preschool teacher at her weekly home visits, gently hitting her or overtouching but she was very low key with him, tried to either ignore or distract him away. The two best strategies she used were

 

1) distracting him into a more appropriate physical behaviour like letting him touch her watch or doing some physical action rhymes as she felt he wanted to have physical contact and communicate with her but as he didn't ahve to socail skills to do some verbally did it in non-verbal ways.

 

2) If his hitting or over touching got too much she would move his hands down and say 'hands down' 'hands away' or 'I don't like that' and then try to distract him.

 

Seemed to work as he does it less now. We still do have some difficulties with him like this, it comes in phases so will look forward to your replies for other tips

 

Lx

[lil_me]

I don't know if it will work with your son but my friends son was extremely tactile so they gave him a silk hanky and he takes it everywhere now and sits and strokes it. They have sewn some beads on, and a ribbon, which keeps him even busier. Keeps his hands busy.

[baddad]

One thought on this, based on observation of a friends child with a similar fondness...

Many of our kids struggle constantly to find appropriate methods of communication, and touch is one of the most basic non-verbal forms of communication. Chances are that before it becomes overly familiar and overused, this is probably one area of communication that some of our kids feel they get 'right', and it becomes (in their minds) a safe 'in' to our social world. In probability, in the earlier stages, gestures of this nature were actually praised and rewarded, when they were interpreted ALWAYS as displays of affection and love rather than gestures of self reassurance and inclusion that they sometimes might have been...

Confusing or what??

So while I agree completely with the strategies outlined, I also think it's worthwhile to consider the intent of the behaviour - 'cos if you can get a handle on that you're more likely to be able to find an appropriate alternative to channel efforts toward...

L&P

BD

[justamom]

Hi,

 

Thank-you for your input - baddad you have made me think that it might be a form of communication i just thougt it was because he was bored but on second though it is a form of communication..... Thanks for a differet persective on things.

 

I also look into sensory processing disorder and he fits the criteria for Hyposensitiviy to touch.... he fits 10 out of these 12

 

HYPOSENSITIVITY TO TOUCH (under-responsive):

 

__ may crave touch, needs to touch everything and everyone

 

__ is not aware of being touched/bumped unless done with extreme force or intensity

 

__ is not bothered by injuries,like cuts and bruises, and shows no distress with shots (may even say they love getting shots!)

 

__ may not be aware that hands or face are dirty or feel his/her nose running

 

__ may be self-abusive; pinching, biting, or banging his own head

 

__ mouths objects excessively

 

__ frequently hurts other children or pets while playing

 

__ repeatedly touches surfaces or objects that are soothing (i.e., blanket)

 

__ seeks out surfaces and textures that provide strong tactile feedback

 

__ thoroughly enjoys and seeks out messy play

 

__ craves vibrating or strong sensory input

 

__ has a preference and craving for excessively spicy, sweet, sour, or salty foods

[jen]

You could buy him something with false hair on or a piece of real hair sewn into a patch (you would be able to obtain this from a friendly hairdresser.

 

Have you tried putting your child in a quilt cover with the quilt on top and holding him tightly. These children also like weighted objects I use the scented padded objects you can get for arthritis suffers. They also like certain smells my child loves lavender. Have you tried a massarger on your child as they love the firm pressure. But some massargers have too much vibration.

 

Jen

[justamom]

You could buy him something with false hair on or a piece of real hair sewn into a patch (you would be able to obtain this from a friendly hairdresser.

 

Have you tried putting your child in a quilt cover with the quilt on top and holding him tightly. These children also like weighted objects I use the scented padded objects you can get for arthritis suffers. They also like certain smells my child loves lavender. Have you tried a massarger on your child as they love the firm pressure. But some massargers have too much vibration.

 

Jen

 

 

Hi Jen, where do you get the scented padded things from he does actually suffer from arthritis and it would be great to have that for both sensory and his aches...

 

thanks

justamom