son attending afterschool arts club

[jen]

My son wanted to attend an afterschool art club, this is the only time he has asked to attend an after school activity. There were only 15 places available for the whole school and my son was allocated a place on a Wednesday afternoon. (I said I would go in and supervise him in the art club)

 

This aternoon I went into school at 3.30. His teacher told me that during the morning Paul had been allocated a task to do in his group. He did not want to do the activity he had been allocated and had put his hands on his ears. (This is normally a sign of stress). Later the teacher put a DVD on and my son sat up to watch and listen to the DVD. After the DVD my sons LSA came into the class to do some work with him. He proceeded to put his hands over his ears and did not want to work. This lasted for 2 lessons until it was time for dinner. At which time he recovered enough to eat his lunch and go out to play.

 

His teacher and LSA felt he was using his problem to his advantage and therefore should not go to art club.

 

I can understand where the teacher was coming from but this was the first time he was eager to go to an afterschool activity.

 

Hence I took him out of the art club and explained to him that the club was for people who had worked hard and done there best.

 

 

I do not know if I done the right thing because I knew that if my child had attended the art club he would of seen the school from a different perspective.

 

What would you have done?

Jen

[Mother in Need]

Why did he keep covering his ears? You say it is a sign of stress? Could it have been the stress from starting something new, ie that afternoon club?

If so, going to the club and being able to manage it (and you were there to insure his success and enjoyment) would have taken away the stress and it might then have been alright for next week.

 

Either way, if a child shows signs of stress, it's the school's job to find out why, and to do something about it if they can. Not punish him.

 

That's my point of view, anyway.

[lil_me]

I agree, if your son was stressed that is no reason to stop him attending the club he'd been told he could goto. I would take this up with the teacher and if you get no joy I would speak to the SENCO. Discriminating him because of his special needs is wrong and thats what it looks to me like they have done. Also you shouldn't have to supervise, he is as entitled as other children to attend after school clubs and the school should provide whatever support is required by the group.

 

Hope your little guy is ok <'>

[Brook]

Jen,

 

my son would refuse to do certain things at school, I started to question him about 'why' he didn't

want to do this and that, mainly things like PE or playing board games, also drawing, he gradually

was able to tell me that he refused to do some things because he 'knew' that it would make him

scream. He became really aware of things that would set him off and this was his way of preventing

himself alot of upset. Although I thought this was very clever of him to think like that, I knew that he

couldn't always refuse everything, I told his LSA to be watchful of this, which she was, she reported

to me lots of times that he had refused to do something and when she asked 'why' he always said

'I'll scream'. He was eased into things gradually, I made him a visual timetable, he also used a

sandtimer so he could see how long he would be doing an unlikeable task for.

 

Also, my son would not have understood the punishment of taking away the after school club,

he would not have put two and two together of not doing your work, so no club,

he has to be told immediately after the undesired event, otherwise he would not relate the

two together. IYKWIM.

 

Brook

[Kathryn]

Jen,

 

I think your son should have been allowed to go to the art club. As you say, it's the first time he has wanted to do something like this, and he should be given every encouragement to see that school can be an enjoyable place.

 

The shutdown in class could have happened for a number of reasons. My daughter used to put her hands over her ears too when she could no longer process what the teacher was saying - when she couldn't write fast enough to keep up, when there was just too much background noise.. when there was just too much coming at her at once. Her reaction was not something she could control.

 

The teacher needs to work to find out what is triggering this reaction in the classroom - it's unlikely to be wilful disobedience. I agree with Brook that taking away an after school leisure activity is not a logical response to this.

 

The art club may turn out to be a positive thing in many ways - the chance to interact with a small group of children in a relaxed setting, maybe discover a new skill. I hope your son enjoys it.

 

K