What can he do instead of pushing children

[kathkin99]

Hi

Its me again asking for advice again today we at last had a dx for my ds they say he is ASD and have given us some advice.

At school when children accidently touch him he pushes them really hard the drs who assessed him said we need Stratergies for him to deal with this, telling him not to do it wont work but telling him what to do will.

The only problem is they won't be seeing us for another month so has anyone any ideas of what to tell him to do instead of hitting out, putting his hands in his pockets was one but he said no to this I want to get him in the habit of doing something other than hitting as this has upset a lot of the mums and children at his school.

Any other ideas for stopping the hitting/pushing when someone even slightly touches him would be gratefully received.

Thanks cant wait for your answers.

Kathy.

[Brook]

Hi Kathy,

 

Firstly, I dont know whether the dx was a relief to you or not, but either way take it easy and some

of these to you. <'> <'>

 

I always believe it is best to show or tell the child what they should be doing rather than focus on the

negative of what they shouldn't be doing.

 

Maybe your son could carry a little stress ball in his pocket? and when he gets touched and feels like

hitting out he could squeeze the stress ball? I know this would take some practise, but if each time

it happened you could quietly say 'stress ball', I know you are not at school with him but I'm talking

about initially doing this at home.

 

Or maybe getting him to think the words 'hands down', I know this sounds easier said than done, but

when my son gets really stressed we use the word 'Booshkie' (made up of course ) it came about

because one day he got really upset about something, I was trying to make light of it and said 'Booshkie'

in a funny voice, he started to laugh, I then said that when we say the word 'Booshkie' take all the

upsetting thoughts out and think of nice things, hey, it even works alot of the time, but not all.

 

Maybe if a couple of strategies are put into place and are used consistently, then you may stumble

upon the one that helps most. Obviously this is either because he is very sensitive to touch, or he

doesn't like his personal space invaded. My son becomes very uncomfortable if too many children

gather round him.

 

Brook

Edited March 17, 2006 by Brook

[UltraMum]

Some good ideas there

 

The other aspect is for the school to try to minimise the times when your son is accidentally knocked and also to try to explain why it happens - it may be that he perceives it as deliberate - I know J did for a long time.

 

You/the school could write a social story about how, when there's not enough room, people may touch each other, that they don't mean to and that it doesn't usually hurt much (depends on how sensitive your son is to touch). Then go onto ways to deal with it.

 

The other thing is for the school to work out when these times happen and devise strategies to minimise them - eg if it happens in the lunch queue then allow him to go in early, have someone to accompany him in the queue - either adult or sensible child - may be his age or an older child who would like the responsibility of 'looking after' a younger. If it's in the cloakroom then assign him a peg at the end - out of the general melee - you get my drift ...

 

Hope this helps

[kirstie]

hi Kathy,

You've had some good advice there already but i just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. Most of us have been in this situation before and will again.........

Lewis is exactly the same when being touched or bumped into. our O.T suggested we try deep pressure therapy. You push down on their shoulders or on their joints or their head. just enough pressure to de-stress them. It does work although i do have to pick my moments as he isn't always receptive to it.

The stress ball is a good idea and i even made up our own feely box and carried it around. If i could see him getting stressed on a bus i'd whip it out and distract him.

We also brought Lewis into Nursery through a different door and left that way too so he wasn't getting stressed and angry with all the bustle of kids and parents.

Have you read The out of sync child? i can't remember who wrote it (they sell it on Amazon) or The out of sync child has fun? These are two very useful books to help you understand sensory issues.

Good luck, i hope it gets better for him soon, it's not funny for anyone the poor wee fella. <'>

Edited March 17, 2006 by kirstie

[kathkin99]

Thanks Brook no the Dx wasn't really a shock although I think I am still in shock generally anyway we didn't realise there was any probs until September when he started school but thanks for the hugs.

Thanks also for all the ideas they give me more than one option which is great.

 

Thanks Mothereve the SALT is going to come in the holidays and discuss Social Stories so fingers crossed she can come up with one and thanks for all your suggestions as well I will have a little chat with school and see if they can help thank you so much.

 

KirstieI love the idea of a feely box and I will try the deep pressure therapy and I am getting onto Amazon next too order those books thats brilliant thanks.

[CarerQuie]

I was also going to suggest a social story because it is likely that your child doesn't understand that other children knock into him accidentally,rather than deliberately.I love the idea of the squeezy ball,too.Perhaps both methods would give the best results.xx

[kathkin99]

CarerQuie

Yes I will try both and we are going to get a squeezy stress ball today does it usually take quite a while for the social stories to sink in and do you need to keep repeating them or is its something you only do the once(with each situation) and then it gradually sinks in?

Thanks vey much.

Kathy

[kevilou]

hi there,

My 12 yr old Asd son has this problem too, although he normally lashes out when he has withdrawn and people try to approach him.

The school has been great, he now has his 'own space' in all lessson and it seems to be helping him to relax more in class. We still have the occassional out burst however - he punch a teacher squarely in the face last term because the teacher didn't know R and inadvertantly shouted in his ear.

Don't know if this is possible for your son to have his own safe space in infants due to the size of the class room, but it maybe something to be considered later on.

Good luck

[kirstie]

Hi Kathy,

The social stories are really good. Generally i think you nedd to read them to them a good few times a day, or if the social story is about standing in line like waiting for the bus or something then you read it just before you're going to have to wait in line if you see what i mean?! then i think after a week or so you can reduce the amount of times aday you read them. That is what i've always done. I used to carry them around with me just incase he had a hard time with something i would read it to him again. Hope that helps?

[kathkin99]

Don't know if this is possible for your son to have his own safe space in infants due to the size of the class room, but it maybe something to be considered later on.

 

Thanks kevilou they did suggest a space for him but it was decided that he wouldn't take himself there unfortunately he seems to like being with all the other children just doesn't like them touching him at all but like you say for when he gets older it sounds like a great idea thanks.

 

Great thanks kirstie well thats great I had heard of them before but just wasn't sure how they worked or how many times so thats brillliant thanks very much.

Kathy