Thanks for the welcome

[nicki41971]

Hi again, thank you for the very warm welcome, & thanks to clintess for recommending this site to me. Some of you said to ask away if i had any questions so i hope you don't mind me taking you up on this, First my son is 2 & a half & was dx last week so its all very new still. i have so many things going round my head, like now i know is it normal to start looking at your child to look for things that will prove the pead wrong? i don't know why i'm doing this, he has classic signs i:e temper, violence, lining up things, personnal space issues, won't mix with other children, very limited diet, headbutts etc but he does give eye contact, & he loves his cuddles is this normal? Ok he is to have speech therapy, he is down to go to a special nursey the year before he starts school, if he goes to mainstream he will get a key worker, & hopefully like some of you said we are lucky he was dx early as that will be an advantage. Oh & hes down on the list to have a portage worker. But what now? do we just sit & wait for the peeps who know to contact us or what? I'm sorry to go on.. people i have told have been asking questions which i have no idea how to answer like does it get worse or better with time & help? will his speech improve with therapy? how do i get him to eat more? how do we potty train him when he doesn't understand what we're telling him? Who helps me to help him? how do you deal with the violence when at groups as at the mo i'm just removing him, then when i get home i cry about the fact i couldn't handle it, a couple of times i cried whilst still at the tod group as i felt all eyes were on me,. gosh sorry didn't realise how much i was going on i'll stop now.

[tmf]

Don't stop, it really is good to get it out! I think you need lots of these... <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

My son wasn't dx until he was 5 1/2.....and i was told that was quite early, so u are very lucky to have an idea at this stage and get things into place b4 education starts!

 

At 2 1/2-3 my son started to have speech problems, and was referred to a speech therapist, after about a yr with her my son luckily grew out of it. In fact if it wasn't for my hv referring me to her and speech and language clinic i'm dam sure to this day i wouldn't know ds has AS. Basically she gave us tasks to work with him and over time his stutter stopped. She was wonderful!

 

 

Also at this age ds still loved his cuddles, yet now i look back realise it was on his terms and didn't like his personnal space invaded. I don't get cuddles very much any more, he hates contact. On the rare occassions he gives me a cuddle, i cherish it as it could be wks b4 i get another.

 

I'm affraid i can offer no advice on the eating part, my ds eats very well, he has never been a fussy eater. Reading a lot of the threads on here many do, so i guess i am just very lucky indeed!

 

Potty training took a good couple of mths, i just thought this was norm until my dd was toilet trained, she was fine after a few days! In all honesty i don't think this was down to him having an ASD, i just put it down to boys are lazier than girls. nx doors son took a yr and he is NT!

 

Where abouts in Hampshire are you? Can you get in touch with the national autistic society to see if there are any groups in the area. I am in Berkshire and there is a Berkshire autistic society, i beleive this form part of the NAS, so it maybe worth a try. There website is www.autism.org.uk, you may find some helpful advise on there, i know i did!

 

Good luck

tmf

xx

[mum22boys]

Hi nicki,

 

Got to say some of what you are describing would be happening As child or not - some is typical 2 year behaviour. I have two boys, one is nearly six and being assessed for Aspergers(?) the other is two and a half and hopefully NT. He is still in nappies as he has poor speech and does not fully understand the concept of toilet training, so don't worry too much they are still young.Also the violence at toddler groups is something i have had every week with my youngest and I too have left in tears when he has attacked another child. Yes you also have the As to deal with but some things do happen whether they have As or not. unfortnately the tantrums just never went away for us and they have got worse but hopefully that won't be the case for you.

 

have you a SEN health visitor? Ours has been a great help and pointed us in the right direction for all our needs.

 

Keep up with the toddler group. it is good to get them in a social situation even though you know the outcome every week. I know how hard it is when everyone is watching you but keep at it. And remember we are here for you <'>

 

mum22boys

 

Just re-read your post and my eldest loves a cuddle and also i would have always said his eye contact was good but recently the SALT pointed out how poor it was.

[phasmid]

What would really be helpful to you is to find out if there is a local support group for ASD chidren and their families in your area. Your GP/HV may be able to help. If they can't or they don't know try the LEA as they are supposed to keep a list of these. There may be a local National Autistic Society branch near you you can look that up by clicking here.

 

Hope that helps.

Edited March 21, 2006 by phasmid

[Bullet]

My oldest child is also two and a half and is in the process of being formally assessed. The health visitors, social worker and paediatrician all believe he's got an ASD, but it won't be known for definite until he's had the multidiciplinary assessments. He's actually quite placid and very affectionate towards adults, but mostly ignores other children. Like yours, he has no concept of toilet training and doesn't even notice or care when he's done something, so I'm leaving it a while. It's been suggested he goes to a special nursery, which I'm hoping will help his communication problems primarily.

[Jill]

Yes, it's perfectly normal to question the dx. I spent the first couple of months wandering round saying "he can't be autistic because he.............". There's actually a thread on this site, under General Discussion, covering this very topic - things that our children can do, that you would normally assume an autistic child cannot do.

 

The Boy was dx at 3.5 and he loves cuddles, gives great eye contact, has some imaginative play for example.

 

All I can tell you is that every child is unique, whether they are autistic or NT.

 

Toilet training - The Boy is still in nappies now (he's 4) and it looks as tho he will be for some time to come. Like you we have the problem of trying to explain this to him because he is non verbal. We'll get there tho, I have every confidence of that.

 

You mention a special nursery - this is just my opinion - but you should grab this opportunity with both hands. The Boy was at an NT private nursery until last October, he then started part time at a special autistic nursery. The change in him is amazing. He is much much calmer, chilled, happier - I could go on and on - he's also started to say odd bits and bobs. Basically he has "come on" more in the few months since he started there than he did in the previous 3.5 years of his life.

 

Sending you some of these <'> the early days after dx are the hardest, but it does get better honestly - especially with the support you'll get from sites like this.

[Suze]

I found reading a few books on autism helped.Every autistic is as different as the next nt person,they have different quirks and strengths and weaknesses.I too still question the dx after 3yrs , usuallly after a settled period, then we have a full on bad week and I remember, oh yes they were right .Take all the help and advice you can get from the proffessionals, it sounds like there are lots of people on board to hep your son.You,ll probably find though that for now you,ll just continue as you did pretty much before he was dx.Appointments could take a while to come through.My son was very behind developmentally at 2 1/2, I think it is believed that ASD kids are several years behind their peers socially too.Your very brave going to a toddler group, I tried it a few times and gave up after ds kepting biting and pulling hair , oh the tears it was awful.

[nicki41971]

Hi thanks for all your replies. i was just saying today that some of his behaviour is typical of that of a nt 2yr old, but a lot of his behaviour isn't. i will investigate the things you've told me. The tod groups i go to (i go to 2) are ones that i was refered to as they are very small & have special needs things plus the ladies that run them are very experienced in special needs, one of the tod groups is in the building where they have the special nursery that he will go to, which is great as it means he gets to know his surroundings & the people that work there. I will most defiantly grab this opportunity with both hands as i know it will be great for him to go to the nursery, we are very lucky in the fact that it is so close to us as i believe there isn't an awful lot of them. As for being brave ... i'm not sure about that i tried some regular tod groups & couldn't cope with them or him, but i am going to persever with these ones as there seems to be so much more understanding going on. the person that said she was saying after dx that nah hes not autistic & then on the other days he obviously is, that is excactly how i feel, also that yes he makes eye contact but now its been said i realise it is only on his terms & when he starts his gabbling or droning he will not look at you whatever. So thanks again you've all been a great help. xxxx one of these <'> right back at you all xxxx

[melly]

Hi Nicki

 

My little one had his formal diagnosis just before he was 3, but we were given a provisional one before that so we knew it was coming.

 

I spent a lot of the early time reading, whats on here, books, internet sites etc. I does help to know what you are dealing with, but also remember that all these little people are very different and the ASD diagnosis is not a one size fits all, my son also has great eye contact (when he wants too!).

 

After I had done a lot of reading and got info I felt the need to run away for a while, digest what info I had, try to ignore the scary stuff which wasn't relevant, and work out what we would do as a family. Re-group i suppose.

 

My son started a specialist autism nursery last sept and it has been brilliant. These are the people that can really help.

 

Good luck with it all, but like his teacher said you don't have to learn it all and master it all today, your little chap is going to be around for a long time, so just take it in your stride!

[baddad]

Hi again nicki -

 

I fully understand your question about 'waiting for the people who know' to turn up, but sadly - in my experience at least - it's more a case of finding the people who know and asking the right questions...

When my son was diagnosed there was an 'automatic' heads up to the local children with disability team at SS, and this lead to me making some contacts with the NAS and other support groups... If this hasn't happened automatically, i'd make myself known to social services ASAP and ask them for leads on local networks in your area.

The NAS is a good starting point too, and you've hit the ground running with portage (be warned though, sometimes this can be a bit of a 'downs syndrome exclusive' club and you have to be prepared to run the gauntleyt before being accepted!!)... One very VERY useful 'introduction' the NAS can offer is to a local Early Bird programme if there is one running... don't jump straight in, give it six months or so from DX, but as a 'primer' in AS/ASD it can be very useful. Lot's of 'stereotyping' (at least there WAS a few years ago), but stereotypes are a good starting point as long as you remember they're exactly that, and don't listen or try to 'force' the bits that don't 'fit' your particular square peg!

Hope that's helpful

 

L&P

BD

[Lynden]

Hi Nicki

 

My son is 2.5 also and was diagnosed in November although it was pretty obvious so we weren't at all shocked. I have found this place a godsend and have also done loads of reading on everything I can. We are really lucky in that our team is fantastic so I haven't had to fight for anything except my sanity ;-) Eating is a huge issue with us too so I sympathise and I'm not even thinking about potty training - I actually did a post last week about it and you'll find that it happens much much later in autistic children.

 

Anyways, if you ever want to compare notes about a child the same age feel free to PM me.

 

Lynne