sweetpea Report post Posted April 10, 2006 Hi everyone, I am new on this site i need to talk to someone. We broke up six months ago and he likes to play mind games with me like sending hate letters in the post, some of the letters said that he will hurt me if he see me in town, i just don't know what to do i can't sleep at night or go out of my own house its the way i feel at the mo i know he wont do anythink its what he has said in the past. has anyone had these sort of problems in there life i also have a little girl who is 5 years old who has asd i just hope that all this with my ex that it does not effect her in any way. sweetpea Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted April 10, 2006 (edited) i have honey my boys dad was like that we have been apart 3 years -have u got any support round u who can help ? also good forum is hiddenhurt .co.uk. it did effect my boys -but i know it would of effected them terribly if id stayed in that relationship,so dont feel guilty- i had to get court orders to stop the things you said about and the police helped me alot -they gave me a panic button connected to them in my house/mobile/alarm,so there is things or steps you can take to make yourself safer.he is not allowed near me or my boys for life now[had several orders which he broke so now there is a life long one in force-if he breaks that he goes prison]. the police should be told of these things he has said to you-you should note it done in a diary ect.... i was with my ex for 5 years and endured mental and physical abuse. im living proof you can get out and make a better life for yourself-it takes time so dont be hard on yourself-keep strong . <'> <'> <'> welcome to the forum Edited April 10, 2006 by rainbow queen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted April 10, 2006 Sweetpea. Welcome to the forum. <'> I'm sorry to hear what an awful time you are having. I hope you find some answers and that things settle down and you get some peace in your life. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mother in Need Report post Posted April 10, 2006 Welcome to the forum Sweatpea! Is your ex AS/ASD? I would go to the police, they are really good and understanding (I've been there myself). They will determine the level of the threat and what is the best thing to do. They might give him a ....oh what's it called, one of those rules that they're not allowed to come near you...sorry, it's too late, I am not thinking properly, but the police will know. If you're so scared, and don't know what to do, I'd definitely say go to the Police Station and talk to them, and they'll deal with it. As for your little girl, probably the less she knows about this, the better, but if you're in the situation that you have to take her wherever you go, this might be more difficult. But she will catch on that something's wrong with mum (no sleep, too stressful, tearful or whatever) so the sooner you get it sorted the sooner it'll be OK for her as well. Good luck! <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 10, 2006 I have my mum an my dad but they are 10 miles away so i have no one around who is close to me and i am finding it hard to go out p.s it is nice to talk to someone sweetpeax Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 10, 2006 I have been to the police and they told me to report to them day or night if anythink happen. Just like the other night when i had little stones that as thrown at my window. sweetpea Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted April 10, 2006 get in touch with the police they will put you in touch with a dv outreach person who can help and support you. is there anyway you could move nearer your family? your health visitor could help maybe ? i was stalked off my ex everytime i left the house -i know how awfull this can make you feel -it must be stopped-he wont stop on his own. dont be afraid to ask for help. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 10, 2006 I have been looking for somewhere else to be close to my mum an dad but there are no houses going free at the mo so i am stuck here which i hate sweetpea( its nice to talk to people that has had the some as me) thank youxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted April 10, 2006 Hey hun. I went through this with my son's father. I was abused by him and then when we split (my choice at 4mths pregnant) he harrassed me in the street and stalked me. In the end, I went into a Women's Aid refuge and they were my saviour. I got rehouse within a few months but unfortunately, he found me and I had to move again. Thankfully, so far so good. Try getting in touch with your local Women's Aid, they will bend over backwards to help you and your kids. Hope all goes well and keep us posted ok. (((HUGS))) to you and the kids. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 10, 2006 This is about the 4th time i have had to move home so when i do this will be the 5th time on moving. And all i want is peace in my life and my little girl who means the world to me luv sweetpea xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted April 10, 2006 An area change maybe?? Somewhere he cannot find you. Does he have parental rights?? If you can get that removed from him, there is no way that he could find you. My guess is that he is finding you now, b/c he is able to find what school your child is in b/c of his parental rights. That is his entitlement! Remove that, and your free to go wherever you can without him finding you. Thankfully my son's father has no rights so hense, he hasn't found us this time (found us last time by via so-called friend). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 11, 2006 I just hope he does not find us when we move which i have rang up some places but yet again they told me that they have already gone. I will keep trying to make it a better place for my girl sweetpea xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 11, 2006 Some day i think that i am a bad mum to her that i can't do anythink right for her i so many nights when she is sleeping it's how i feel at the mo. But i would never change the way i feel about her in any way i love her so much sweetpea xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted April 12, 2006 Please make sure you report to the police every time he contacts you. They can get some kind of court order forbidding him to contact you. If he breaks a court order action can be taken against him, including possible imprisonment. This is why it's so important that they know the full extent of his threats. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 12, 2006 Hi Tally I have reported everything he has said to me and done, so fingers cross that he keeps to it sweetpea xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ediebee Report post Posted April 12, 2006 Sweetpea you sound so very brave, I wish I could give you some help or wise words of advice, but all I can say is it sounds as though you are doing all the right things to protect yourself and your little girl. There should be a domestic violence helpline number locally to you, or like someone else suggested Womens aid. You are so brave I think you may find the strength to contact one of these groups and I know they will help you, of course along with the police. Your little girl is very lucky to have you as her mum, and I truly hope your life becomes better. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 12, 2006 Thank you Ediebee, I have rang up a helpline the other day they did help me alot it is so nice to talk to them and to everyone on the forum too! thank you my life is starting to be a brighter life now thanks to everyone on the forum sweetpea xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 13, 2006 (edited) Hi everyone, just to up date you on whats going on i will be moving in two weeks time, i got a house it is about a mile from my mum an dads so not far away so i am really looking forward on moving now a new start in life for me and my daughter fingers cross that he does not find us now ( i am so happy) sweetpea xx Edited April 13, 2006 by sweetpea Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted April 13, 2006 sweatpea,2of my sisters went through what you are going through,they called the police every time and now they are very settled and happy,im so glad you have got a move near your mum,your little girl is lucky to have a mum like you,if you ever get low,come on here,theres always someone who will listen,i know my sisters found it all very frightening,stay strong and let us know how you are getting on love hev Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 13, 2006 Hi hev, thank you for your reply. And i think when this is all over i will still talk to everyone on the forum because you all have made my life more easy to talk to people as i use to find it hard to talk to people about it all so thank you once again. sweetpea x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted April 14, 2006 Hi Sweetpea, I went through something similar with my ex and I understand how you feel. You are doing the best for your daughter, so there's no need for you to feel like a bad mum. It's a natural reaction to the difficulties you have been having. The changes were not easy for my son but moving was 100% the best for him. Just one little word of advice (from experience) if your ex keeps threatening you, there's a limit to what the police can do and you may need to ask a solicitor to help you with a court order to make him stay away from you. Curra <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 18, 2006 (edited) Hi everyone, sorry i have not been in touch the last few days it's because my ex has been threatening me again so i had a lot to sort out like going to the police, and the solicitors as well to get a court order on him cos he is threatening to take my daughter off me now but my solicitor said he can't take her away from you. I will be glad when i have moved away from this nightmare. It's like a nightmare i can't get away from. sweetpea xx Edited April 18, 2006 by sweetpea Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted April 18, 2006 glad to hear your doing ok. your doing all the right things dont worry about your ex saying that -they all say that-its just another way of making u feel bad [as a mother] it is like a nightmare at the time and when your emeshed in it but stay strong and your life will move on and get better take one day at a time , <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea Report post Posted April 22, 2006 Hi rainbow queen, my ex has just got in contact with me lately which was a nightmare a i've just started to get over it which has brought back all the nightmares for me an my little girl. sweetpea xx ps the police are already involved Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
