feeling hopeless

[ediebee]

We've had a horrible start to our day today. Usually the school hols are of course our best time, no stress of school and being told all the "unacceptable" things our statemented and diagnosed son has done, (like we can just take him home and "fix" all his unacceptable behaviour with that magic wand I keep up my sleeve). Anyway, we have just started on medication to help his ADHD (he has ASD too), the trouble is he really struggles to swallow the tablets. This morning we didn't handle the situation well at all, and both ended up in tears in various rooms to try and not show our upset to the chidren. We feel pretty beaten by it all, we don't like the fact that we are giving him meds. but feel forced to really, otherwise his psychiatrist and school will think we've sabotaged the whole thing and aren't trying all options to help improve his behaviour. We spent over one year trying to get him statemented and supported in school, and managed it, during which time we were waiting for his CAMHS appt. finally seen after over a years wait, but again no matter what we do or achieve it never seems to be enough to help in the opinion of others. I know I'm off at the deep end today because i really feel hopeless, that our lives are just an endless round of battles and trying different things to change a child who is as he is. I really feel so fed up and beaten by the situation, I know many of you have been, and are going through the same sorts of things, and I'm just glad I can offload here to people who understand.

[jb1964]

Sorry Ediebee that you're having such a bad start to the Easter break.

 

Hope everything calms down soon for you, it does feel like an endless battle - try to take some time out for yourself if you can.

 

Take care,

Jb

 

(Re: Not taking his tablets - my daughter has terrible trouble taking any tablets - and although she doesn't like the taste and it's still difficult for her to take she does find it easier if I crush them in a tiny amount of water).

Edited April 14, 2006 by jb1964

[ediebee]

Thanks JB we're a bit stuck with the the tablets as they are a slow release form, so we aren't allowed to crush them. But thanks for replying, it's good to know you good people are there.

[oracle]

Some people with autism do have problems taking tablets and chewing and swallowing their food.

 

You said

 

We feel pretty beaten by it all, we don't like the fact that we are giving him meds. but feel forced to really, otherwise his psychiatrist and school will think we've sabotaged the whole thing and aren't trying all options to help improve his behaviour

 

I am going to stick my neck out here - nothing new there then - and say that I would not medicate my children ever because a psychiatrist or their school wanted me to. It's actually pretty well documented that the meds that are given to children with ADHD are often ineffective for kids with ASD. We have a Mum in our group who has just had the same dilemma as you. The Doctors and the School wanted the child medicated. Even though she did not want this she gave it a three months trial - there was no noticable difference in his behaviour at school - there was never a problem with his behaviour at home.

 

I sort of gather that you may not have the same problem at home either? This screams at me that this is a miss management problem and not something that should be sorted out by taking meds. Schools should never ever use this option as the easy way out for themselves and parents should never ever feel under pressure to medicate if it's the wrong option for them.

 

Hope things get better for you soon

<'>

Oracle

[curra]

Hi Edibee,

I agree with Oracle that some AS children have trouble swallowing medicines, it may be that your son tolerates liquid medication better. You have a right as a parent to ask for another type of medication that suits your son better and if the psychiatrist and school think you're sabotaging THEIR plan, well tough! Sorry to put it in these terms, but it makes me angry to read how these people dictate everything. Perhaps you can wait until after Easter to ask the psychiatrist about it, and do let him/her know your son's reactions and your concerns. I hope you have a happy Easter without stress.

<'>

Curra

[ediebee]

Thanks for your replies. You are right in saying that we don't feel there are any problems at home that warrent meds. It's funny, but his last week in school he was given a trophy for behaving much better, what a surprise he finally got this after they knew about the decision to try meds. He does have 20 hours 1-1 LSA support, but there are times when he gets angry and hits out, and this is what has caused us to try the meds. We feel under constant threat of exclusion, and have thought that if meds. help him, which the psychiatrist is convinced they will, then we have to give them a try. We go back to the psychiatrist in 4 weeks so we'll try and make the best of it till then, and handle things a bit better, if he can't take the tabs. then that's that, and maybe there is some other form that we can try, but I know if the improvement is not obvious then we'll be saying no thanks. It's all such a worry, you're dammed if you do, and dammed if you don't.