Restraint techniques - help!

[Bullet]

A few days ago somebody posted some info about the British Institute of Learning Disabilities and how they had details of courses on restraint techniques that parents could access. Please could someone tell me where on the website this information can be found as I passed the news onto someone else and they can't find out where to look and neither can I Thank you <'>

[phasmid]

Here you go. Hope it links to what your looking for ok.

[mandyque]

Thanks Phasmid, it was for me that Bullet was asking, I have emailed them for more information, all I can find is courses for professionals, which is so frustrating, why are they allowed to know all this stuff to protect their clients but we can't learn them to protect our families?

 

I know a number of parents who have children with violent tendencies due to their autism and we are all desperate for help, nobody wants to help. One family has had to place their son in residential care to protect her other children, why does it have to get that extreme? If only they would teach her the physical intervention methods he may have been able to stay with his family.

[Bullet]

Thank you . I found the section on behaviour management but it just listed courses for professionals .

The NAS had details of a course in Carmathernshire in October that might be appropriate Mandy. If you google autism + restraint techniques + parents it'll come up. It's about halfway down a long list. If you couldn't get to it perhaps you could write to them asking for details. Even a book must be better than nothing.

Edited May 17, 2006 by Bullet

[Lucas]

*Vomits*

[gladysmay]

how sad that someone should have been forced to place their child in care because they were not given the appropriate skills or support to do otherwise.

[Lucas]

I suppose no one will bother to go look at what Autistic adults who have had to live through childhood under restraint have to say about it.

[Guest flutter]

deleted

Edited May 18, 2006 by flutter

[Lucas]

I thought maybe YOU could explain. If parents wanted to find courses to restrain their NT children, social services would want to know, but there always seems to be an invisible line exception for Autistics. If you've ever read or listened to what any Autistic adult who has been institutionalised has to say about restraint methods you wouldn't be so keen unless you were just plain inhuman.

 

Yet someone in this thread has complained about how 'professionals' working in institutions have easy-access to these very same methods but parents do not. It's been said that Autism causes violence, there is no evidence to support this. Somehow Autistics aren't worthy of ethics being applied to us. Even the NAS says there is no link between Autism and aggressions/violence and criminality at all.

 

And every credible Autism researcher knows Autism does not cause aggression or violence. This doesn't mean Autistics can't be aggressive or violent, it just means they are not compelled towards it because they're Autistic. There's a reason and instead of bothering with those reasons, some people would rather use force or lock us away.

 

If this conversation was about violent but Neurotypical children, it would be preclude to child abuse. But because its Autistic children being discussed, they don't deserve the same standards.

[Guest flutter]

deleted

Edited May 18, 2006 by flutter

[Lucas]

You're giving a very narrow picture of reality: it's either put up with it or medicate?

 

You haven't given an example of when restraints are required and no doubt it will speak only of what the Autistic child is doing but what caused it will be conveniently left out as usual.

 

If you treated a Neurotypical child with this standard of regard it would be widely condemned as abuse. Don't you ever imagine that this might be part of the problem?

 

LUCAS, I'VE EDITED YOUR FINAL PARAGRAPH BECAUSE IT WAS CROSSING OVER INTO THE AREA OF PERSONAL ATTACK

Please don't...

 

I think the whole question of 'restraint' is a complex one, and having worked in care I have seen for myself how boundaries can become blurred.

The only opinion I have is that SOMETIMES, in extreme circumstances, restraint is the lesser of two evils, and that would apply to anyone NT/ASD 'Other' who is inflicting physical harm on another person and cannot be reasonably prevented from doing so in any other way.

Again, not a 'black and white' area of debate...

 

L&P

BD

Edited May 18, 2006 by baddad

[Bullet]

All the people I know asking about it need the help when their child is in danger of being hurt. Eg if they are trying to run onto the road. They don't want to use it as a means of controlling or supressing or hurting their children. That is the last thing they want.

Lucas, please could you offer alternative ways of helping settle, for example, a nine year old girl almost as tall as her mother, who when angry or upset kicks, scratches and nips and is, in many ways, like a toddler?

[Lucas]

No I can't Bullet because the example you have given is fictitious and speaks only of what the child does but not what causes it.

[Bullet]

No, it is not fictious. It relates to a friend I know who loves her dd very much and has no intention of hurting her. But she (the friend) has had large scratches on her arm from when the dd has lashed out. Yes, there will be a reason for this that makes perfect logical sense to the child, but she is a child with the development of a two or three year old. When she is upset she reacts as a two year old would, but she has the strength of a nine year old.

If my friend could find a means of explaining to her daughter, for example, why it's dangerous to run onto the road without having to hold her dd (and risk getting nipped or kicked at in the process) she would take it. So I'll ask again. Whether you believe this is fictional or not could you offer some alternatives in this situation?

Edited May 18, 2006 by Bullet

[katkin]

Very difficult, very emotive subject.

I have worked in an MLD school and all staff were trained in restraint, and some children were occasionally restrained - and no not all had ASD. Children are not restrained "willy nilly" - it has to be written in their care plans and not all parents will sign to agree to restraint so then it doesn't happen.

However when a large 18yr old lad has you on the floor and is pulling your breasts off (and I do not exaggerate) or when a teenage lad has bitten, kicked and punched you in the stomach and breasts it is very difficult to not agree to restraint procedures.

So, yes I have used restraint - rarely - no I don't like to use it and have always tried to avoid it - it is a last resort. But sometimes it may be felt necessary to protect not only staff but also the child or other children in your care and this is not just for ASD children or adults.

Love Kat

[mum22boys]

I am totally with you on this one Bullet.

 

I posted only last week about M who has temper tantrums. I wish i did not have to hold him but i do. Yes I could let him just get on with it but he would trash a shop and that is not acceptable in anyones eyes. Instead I do what I HAVE to for his safety and others I hold on to him. I am left with bruises from bite marks and from being kicked but I have no choice. Last week he was shocked at the marks on my arms after his tantrum and couldn't understand how I had got them. He is such a loving little boy that i know when he is in tantrum that he is unaware of his actions because I know he would not intentionally hurt me. Therefore I have to hold him which is not the easy option but I too don't want him to run into the road or cause strangers pain and yes he has attacked strangers before.

 

I too would love to know what advice Lucas can give us as there seems to be so little of it from the 'professionals'!

 

And i also hope that as my son has no recollection of his tantrums afterwards that he will also not remember having to be held tight to stop him being a danger.

 

mum22boys

[Lucas]

I cannot give you my view on what should be done because the examples you give remain fiction even though you believe they are not, you're blurring the lines between allagory and reality. Not enough information is being provided about the situations, they are being generalised where only very specific information can yield clarity.

 

When Autistic teenagers use similiar restraint methods on their parents, they often find themselves in a prison cell. I find it sick.

[lorryw]

Lucas,

I would dearly love some insight into what my son is thinking and feeling.

He is non verbal and will be 21 in a few months. At the age of about 14 he suddenly began having violent outbursts. We were told (by school) to restrain him. Because we were under the mistaken belief that this would help him and they knew what they were talking about we did so. I now realise that this was entirely the wrong thing to do and simply made the situation far worse. He began having outbusts regularly and each one lasted longer and longer. The aggression is aimed at himself, he bites his hand and tries to bang his head on hard surfaces. If we try to intervene he tries to bite us or hurt our hands. When I look into his eyes I see absolute terror and fury. The only way I can deal with him is to make the room as safe as possible and stay with him to observe but not interfere. Afterwards its as though nothing has happened.

I would love to know why he does this. What can we do that would actually help him and how does he feel. Even if we try to pre empt something by putting right something that he obviously finds upsetting he still has to go through the same ordeal.

Any insight would greatly appreciated.

Lorainexx

[Flora]

lorry, this is probably a ridiculous question, but does your son use any other means of communication like pecs or something? I'm sure if he's 21 and not verbal then you've probably tried them all, so I'm really sorry if this question seems insulting. <'>

 

Lauren x

[mandyque]

Lucas, Bullet's story is not fictitious. I am the friend she is talking about. My daughter is 9 years old and has severe autism. Because of the difficulties we have in communicating to each other she gets very angry and upset sometimes. When she is angry and upset she scratches, kicks and nips me. Sometimes she also gets hurt when I try to stop her from hurting me. Sometimes she puts herself in danger when she is angry and upset, she may lay on the floor and bang her head, or sometimes when we are outside she runs away from me. If she runs on the road she could get knocked over by a car and killed or badly hurt. I'm sure you agree that it is right that I have to stop her from running onto a road. I want very much to understand her, and for her to understand me, but you must be able to see that autism puts barriers in the way of that. I am trying very hard to teach her methods such as PECS so that she can communicate more to me but it is a very slow process.

 

I don't want to restrain her just for the sake of it, I just want to protect her and myself. I can't retaliate, that is very wrong. So what I need to do is try and control things, to stop my daughter from hurting me and also from hurting herself.

 

In an adult world if you nip, scratch and kick someone it is classed as assault and you can be arrested by the police for it. If I did the same thing to my child Social Services would take her away from me to protect her. So why should she be allowed to do it to me?

[Lucas]

You do not need to use the restraining methods used by 18-stone orderleys that sit down on top of people to stop them breathing to prevent a child running into the road or having an outburst.

 

We are currently having communication issues between us, I have very little doubt that the communication between your daughter follows a similiar rationale and our difficulty understanding each other has nothing to do with me being Autistic. Your example remains fictitious even though you think it isn't, I have explained why this is the case, this has been ignored and I've been brought to the brink of outburst- do you blame this on the fact that I'm Autistic?

 

In the adult world, if your daughter ever restrains you the way you intend/do restrain her, you would draw no distinction between that and her assaulting you. I used reasonable restraint against my NT brother to eject him from the house he knows he's not welcome in(but kept a spare key which was technically stolen because our mother told him to hand it back but was refused), he called the police and I was arrested, I made a counter-complaint but he was only arrested when my mother supported this. The police were not going to act on my complaint without my mother sponsoring it and even though my NT brother has unlawfully and unreasonably restrained me on numerous occasions, this was seen as perfectly acceptable as I was described exactly how you describe your daughter now.

 

I've spoken before of how I was bullied in school, I hit one of the boys and in the eyes of some this would constitute me being an aggressive boy with a 'history of violence'. Where as the fact that I have under extreme and impossible situations hit people is true, what is fictitious is that I am an aggressive person with a 'history of violence' like I am somehow comparable to a common criminal. Autism has not put up any of these barriers, it's other people and their inherent inability to observe and interprete what any Autistic person says and does.

 

All the characterisations made of me in this way are fictitious, they are mistaken for reality because they are allagorical fictions- made to resemble real life without accurately recounting it in context. Distorting the picture without smudging the paint.

[Bullet]

Lucas, you can not say how Mandyque restrains her daughter because you are not aware of the full facts. Without the full facts you are liable to jump to erroneous conclusions. Not once has MQ said she wishes to restrain her daughter in the manner of an 18 stone orderly. What she does want is a safe, painless for everyone and secure way of protecting her daughter from harm. Now, you undoubtedly have good reasons for objecting to restraint techniques. As someone who gets panicked if they are held down myself I can empathise a little bit. But I do know that there are situations when people (NT as well as autistic) can get angry and frightened and not be in full control of themselves. If somebody else can monitor the situation and prevent the situation arising, excellent. But NOBODY is capable of complete and total awareness of their surroundings so things can be missed. NO-ONE can know exactly what's going to happen in the course of a day and what external factors might have an influence on that day.

[JsMum]

Lucas, you can not say how Mandyque restrains her daughter because you are not aware of the full facts. Without the full facts you are liable to jump to erroneous conclusions. Not once has MQ said she wishes to restrain her daughter in the manner of an 18 stone orderly. What she does want is a safe, painless for everyone and secure way of protecting her daughter from harm. Now, you undoubtedly have good reasons for objecting to restraint techniques. As someone who gets panicked if they are held down myself I can empathise a little bit. But I do know that there are situations when people (NT as well as autistic) can get angry and frightened and not be in full control of themselves. If somebody else can monitor the situation and prevent the situation arising, excellent. But NOBODY is capable of complete and total awareness of their surroundings so things can be missed. NO-ONE can know exactly what's going to happen in the course of a day and what external factors might have an influence on that day.

 

I think by attending a course effilated by a reconised organisation such as bild then this can only be looked on looking into the full needs of the child you care and love for because as I have said some restraint techneques are wrong, and in the courses its not all about restraint, there is other skills too with in the course it goes into other areas of communications, distractions, discussion, letting go by using other methods, but it also does show you some techneques that are classed as the safer, because at the end of the day the last thing we want to do is hurt them in the process of restraining so attending a course that is reconised as an effective and safe course is better than just bull dozing in and not really thinking, or letting a 20 stone lorry knock them for six on the road when they have legged it from the supermarket because they dont like the enviorment, or school because there overwhelmed by the pressures and change.

 

as I said that restraint is considered as the last resort.

 

I know there is courses for parents it is exspensive but you can get reductions if your on benefits or your a parent with a special needs child.

 

Bild do have a list of organisations where parents can access them.

 

Any more info just ask.

 

JsMum

[Lucas]

Bullet, you have missed the point by so far that I think you are doing so deliberately: it was MY point that I'm limited when I don't have the full facts, I was complaining about the fact that the examples given to me when my opinion was sought was devoid of any facts. It was allagorical fiction. You've picked the one part you found most easy to re-interprete and gone for it.

 

If I were to pick out that JsMum has described a '20 stone lorry' in her post and then go on to dismiss everything she said based on that(a super lightweight lorry of 20 stone must be made of space-age material) then it would not make me look good.

[gladysmay]

Hi Lucas, I see what you mean when you use the word fictitious above and your argument about restraint in general. My son also has very strong views on injustice as do I. I usually insist on people, organisations doing the 'right' thing but they seldom do and this I find frustrating. It is very hard cope with the imperfections of systems and the imperfect world we have to live in.

 

Fortunately I have never had to use any form of restraint and would not recommend it. All behaviour is a reaction to environment I agree. If there is a risk in the short term, before this can be worked out and a suitable response found then someone will quite naturally protect themselves from the harm of others.

[mandyque]

I can understand your point Lucas, the way you have been treated is wrong, you should not have been crushed and left being unable to breathe. What I want for myself and my daughter is a safe way of protection which will not hurt me or her.

 

I am not saying I can't draw a distinction between that and her assaulting me, she is my daughter and I understand her frustration and anger can be rooted in the fact that we do not understand each other very well. What I was trying to say is that I need to help her to find other ways of showing her frustration without nipping, kicking and scratching, because if she does this to a stranger when she is an adult, that stranger will not know that she is autistic or that she is trying to express herself, all they will see is a grown woman hurting them. In the eyes of the law this would be seen as assault, as you will know by your own experiences.

 

I have a friend who has Aspergers syndrome, he was assaulted and his face was cut with a knife. It made me very angry to hear that the courts would not accept his evidence because of his Aspergers syndrome. That is societys failing. I am trying my best to understand my daughter but we are united in battling against the prejudices and ignorance of those who do not understand.

[Bullet]

Ok Lucas, I understand you now . I'm not being deliberately awkward, the internet can be difficult to intrepret sometimes.

I know it's difficult to know what to do when you don't have the full facts, but could you think back to when you were a child and you were upset and scared and frustrated at something. What would have helped you?

[Lucas]

Mandygue, I know of no Autistic adult outside an institution that has ever acted the way you seem to fear your daughter may; we grow up. We are not as adults as we are as children. Those who are violent in institutions are so because they are in institutions, they're not put in 'care' because of how they act when they're in there.

 

I've not said that I've ever been crushed or anything, only that I have had restraint used on me by my family which if I used in return would not be allowed. I've avoided institutions because my family aren't really interested in Autism and haven't sought out information which then erroneously tells them that unless they do this or that, then I will grow up to be a write-off. I mentioned the 'sit-down' method because it is still being widely used despite the ethical concerns, it is seen as no different from holding someone's arms to stop them punching.

 

The police are trained in restraints but would never use some of the things on armed criminals that which are used on disabled people in care. The police do not administer injections to people in custody to maintain control of them, people in care are not given the same standard of regard. A policeman will use restraints on a person who resists arrest or assaults someone there and then, but they do not use very forceful restraint if it's a child. Disabled children are not given that regard and are restrained as if they are adults, the excuse given for this is that disabled children are often unusually strong. But the reason for Hyper-kinethis is the fight or flight response which is PROVOKED by the restraints in the first place.

 

Staff in institutions are always inwittingly training residents to fight and hurt back, parents often do the same with the measures that are supposed to be preventative to this.